The days are getting easier with less tension and worry. We can now go for days without a fight or a struggle and life is becoming normal. We have been there before but I feel as if the other shoe has already dropped so one day at a time we walk with God. This has become a great thing for all of us. We have taken a lot of the hurry out of life and yet, as promised we are provided for.
Allie is doing well. She is a new and improved person as she walks the trail of recovery. You reach an odd point when the person does not know they are recovering to the time they realize that something is different and they themselves understand it. The better part is when they actually work towards recovering themselves with that goal in mind. What can I do to help myself recover? In business there is the story about different levels of person. The unconscious incompetent - they don't know they don't know; the conscious competent - they know they don't know; the conscious competent - they have the think about what they are doing and the unconscious competent - this is what we all strive for - being so good at something that it is automatic - second nature. This is what all brain injuries strive for - becoming the conscious competent. We are not there yet but time and caring people her will allow her to reach her fullest recovery.
Allie has become very bored sitting around the house while mom or dad worked and has taken some steps to solve that. She has become a volunteer at a church day care center and she loves it. Only been there once so far but she has a great time with little children and her heart is so big that that are automatically attracted to her. She will also begin waiting tables again this week. The inn where she worked before opens tomorrow and they offered her her position back. Now for the crazy part. With her personality she wanted to do some DJ work so she was to train with a comapny but they wanted to get out of the DJ business and focus on their equipment rentals so, you guessed it, we are now in the DJ business. Stay tuned for that one. Thank God we have their best DJ (Marcus) staying with us and he isa training Allie - First gig is Friday night at a middle school dance. Just one more way for me to lose my sanity but we walk all avenues.
Right now we are looking at more colleges for Allie in the area. Today I will pick up the class schedules for summer school from our local CC and she will take one or two classes right her in our town to she how she does. Nest week I will fly her to a college in Salisbury, NC where she will sing at an audition. Who knows? Great school, great college (Catawba) but in the mountain of NC and not the lights of Broadway (yet)
The only negative and believe me it is not a negative about becoming aware is the sadness that accomapnies the realization she has of what was and what is. It is not bad or often and I think 3 days of rain and being inside can trigger it in anyone but still, counseling should help.
Well off to work. Hope you all have a great day. We love you and thank you for your thoughts, prayers and gifts. May you always be blessed.
Allie's Dad
Monday, March 31, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Wednesday Evening, March 18th, 2008
Hi Everyone
Just a quick note to update everyone to Allie's whereabouts. For the last five weeks she has been home with us. School didn't work out but it was a heck of an effort. We are enthusiastically looking forward to September or whenever. Right now Allie is just healing and is looking for a part time job possibly in a day care. She has a gift working with little children - they have always been very attracted to her. She is back to her singing lessons and looking for ways to stay active. Right now she is kind of just plain bored but tomorrow we will visit a couple of local churches that have day cares in them and the inn where she waitress' will be opening in another week. We will be going back to some therapies in a week. Anything and everything - right?
On a more fun side she did get her nose pierced and believe it or not it is just adorable - even big daddy approved - aw heck - I took her to get it and she was brave - even when I couldn't go in the room with her. She wanted to back out once in the room but she went through with it - it was a big step. She is getting back into putting on makeup and being fashionable.
We have little tiffs but nothing like before and they end almost as soon as they begin. We spent 5 days at the beach together and had a great time.
Well she is now home (right where she belongs) and accepting mail at 91 Ugedaliyvi Ct. (yeah I spelled it right), Brevard, NC 28712.
Thank you all so much for your continued prayers and support.
God Bless You - Happy Easter
Allie's Dad
Just a quick note to update everyone to Allie's whereabouts. For the last five weeks she has been home with us. School didn't work out but it was a heck of an effort. We are enthusiastically looking forward to September or whenever. Right now Allie is just healing and is looking for a part time job possibly in a day care. She has a gift working with little children - they have always been very attracted to her. She is back to her singing lessons and looking for ways to stay active. Right now she is kind of just plain bored but tomorrow we will visit a couple of local churches that have day cares in them and the inn where she waitress' will be opening in another week. We will be going back to some therapies in a week. Anything and everything - right?
On a more fun side she did get her nose pierced and believe it or not it is just adorable - even big daddy approved - aw heck - I took her to get it and she was brave - even when I couldn't go in the room with her. She wanted to back out once in the room but she went through with it - it was a big step. She is getting back into putting on makeup and being fashionable.
We have little tiffs but nothing like before and they end almost as soon as they begin. We spent 5 days at the beach together and had a great time.
Well she is now home (right where she belongs) and accepting mail at 91 Ugedaliyvi Ct. (yeah I spelled it right), Brevard, NC 28712.
Thank you all so much for your continued prayers and support.
God Bless You - Happy Easter
Allie's Dad
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Sunday Morning, March, 15th
Hi Everyone
Here we are 10 months after the accident and still healing. WIll be for a long time to come. When people told us initially to save our energy because head trauma is a marathon they were not kidding. We are probably around the 15 mile marker - thank goodness for all of the caring people who have stood by us as we continue to help our daughter heal.
To keep you updated, Allie is at home with us and has been for around a month. School was not the best route to go and just added extra stress to all of us. We all gave it a go and it certainly was the right thing to do. Since Allie's been home it has been great. We are spending a lot of time together and doing a lot of growing, not onlt in the sense of physical as I think that is secondary to the emotional and spititual growth and healing that we have gone and are going through. It's truly amazing to be a part of a rebirth.
I have been actively seeking new therapists for Allie ie: cognative training and psychotherapy and it a lot, lot, lot harder to find the right people than I ever would have imagined and then there are those that seem to want to help but never call you back. I know God is putting the right people in the right places for us. Boy trauma certainly changes your life's experience or is it the experience you are supposed to be having. A long time ago, nancy and I took ourselves out of the picture and realized that we needed to dedicate our lives to the children and it has helped. Putting your own needs on the back burned to help someone else is unconditional love and it help make our world right.
It still seems wierd to me that I am writing about a little girl who has come so far when so many of my friends are are moving at a less quick pace but I guess that is what I have been called to do. Maybe our story gives others hope and inspiration and if nothing else maybe thay will know we love then and we can help be thier rock.
For those that are wondering what is going on with Full Recovery, we are still moving forward. I think I was moving to quickly and needed to heal myself a little more but currently we are still seeking a web designed who will do our project and not cost a fortune. We have at last count over 185 pages of information to be posted (all in word document) if anyone wants to jump in and we are taking the names of people who would like to join our prayer group as an internet prayer partner. If this is something you would like to do, please e-mail me at drcagen@citcom.net
Allie had her best day yesterday since coming home. She was clear and happy, no confrontation and it was a joyful day.
We have also created another blog called http://www.howtosurvivethehospital.blogspot.com/ this is a forum hof peoples hospital stories both good and bad and allows them to give us advice to be used on the web site as to how they managed to survive their stay. How to survive the hospital is not negative but very postive we want to hear what you did to survive as a family and what you did to survive the medical staff and the medical bills. We also want to know what techniques you employed, what you liked and did not like and how you made your experience better. We will then share this information on our site.
That's all for today. We love and appreciate you!
Allie's Dad
Here we are 10 months after the accident and still healing. WIll be for a long time to come. When people told us initially to save our energy because head trauma is a marathon they were not kidding. We are probably around the 15 mile marker - thank goodness for all of the caring people who have stood by us as we continue to help our daughter heal.
To keep you updated, Allie is at home with us and has been for around a month. School was not the best route to go and just added extra stress to all of us. We all gave it a go and it certainly was the right thing to do. Since Allie's been home it has been great. We are spending a lot of time together and doing a lot of growing, not onlt in the sense of physical as I think that is secondary to the emotional and spititual growth and healing that we have gone and are going through. It's truly amazing to be a part of a rebirth.
I have been actively seeking new therapists for Allie ie: cognative training and psychotherapy and it a lot, lot, lot harder to find the right people than I ever would have imagined and then there are those that seem to want to help but never call you back. I know God is putting the right people in the right places for us. Boy trauma certainly changes your life's experience or is it the experience you are supposed to be having. A long time ago, nancy and I took ourselves out of the picture and realized that we needed to dedicate our lives to the children and it has helped. Putting your own needs on the back burned to help someone else is unconditional love and it help make our world right.
It still seems wierd to me that I am writing about a little girl who has come so far when so many of my friends are are moving at a less quick pace but I guess that is what I have been called to do. Maybe our story gives others hope and inspiration and if nothing else maybe thay will know we love then and we can help be thier rock.
For those that are wondering what is going on with Full Recovery, we are still moving forward. I think I was moving to quickly and needed to heal myself a little more but currently we are still seeking a web designed who will do our project and not cost a fortune. We have at last count over 185 pages of information to be posted (all in word document) if anyone wants to jump in and we are taking the names of people who would like to join our prayer group as an internet prayer partner. If this is something you would like to do, please e-mail me at drcagen@citcom.net
Allie had her best day yesterday since coming home. She was clear and happy, no confrontation and it was a joyful day.
We have also created another blog called http://www.howtosurvivethehospital.blogspot.com/ this is a forum hof peoples hospital stories both good and bad and allows them to give us advice to be used on the web site as to how they managed to survive their stay. How to survive the hospital is not negative but very postive we want to hear what you did to survive as a family and what you did to survive the medical staff and the medical bills. We also want to know what techniques you employed, what you liked and did not like and how you made your experience better. We will then share this information on our site.
That's all for today. We love and appreciate you!
Allie's Dad
Monday, January 21, 2008
Monday Morning, January 19
Hi Everyone
So our tale comes to an end, or so it seems for the moment but it is just so happy that I needed to let everyone know as this truly is going to be my last blog. I have been journaling the whole time just to have a complete record of her entire journey.
I was originally going to end my blogging days on the day that Allie went off to college and that occurred last week. It was a wonderful day as we dropped her off at the dorm and went inside to get her roo set up. There was something magical about the day - who ever would have thught that just eight short months to the day she would be attending her first class at University. Many, many days ago I would have been happy if she was walking at eight months so leaving her alone in a dorm room was far beyond my wildest dreams. Fourtunately her best friend lives just up one flight in the dorm and she has a beau, so her little life is a fairytale at the moment - away from mom and dad, living in a dorm at a great college and having your best friend and beau right there in the same building. Wow
Well I had to add this one last note: We went and saw Allie last Friday and took her and her gentlemen friend out to dinner. She looked great as she met us in the parking lot and had big hugs and smiles for mom and me. This was great!!! She was happy to see us! We went downtown Asheville and walked aroung for a while and then had a big sushi dinner. It was a snowy day and the weather was cold as we walked around and we were worried for her as she walked the campus going up and down stairs to get to the different buildings but you can't worry about everything, we have learned to let go of many things or at least not voice them out loud. But all of this is said for a reason and lends itself to show how well things are.
Allie is just so happy being Allie and she is so Okay with the accident and being who she is. It makes me cry inside to see her so back in her element - there are som issues but they are minor and nothing that isn't being worked out.
Now back to dinner and the nicest way to end this final entry. As we dropped Allie and Andy off at the dorm we hugged them both good night and as they turned to walk away we sat in the car and watched as they hugged each other. It was dark and the lights were on in the parking lot as they stood there silouetted against the buildings; we could feel the feelings they had for each other - it was a beautiful moment as they then turned for the building and he took her hand in his and together he helped her up the stairs like two sould that belonged together or had possibly been together for a long time and had once again found each other.
Nancy and I sat there in silence knowing that everything was truly going to be okay. As they reached the top of the stairs, she turned and waved to us - and life goes on.
Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
Allie can be reached at:
Allie Cagen
University of NC Asheville
One University Place
Asheville, NC 28801
Founders Hall Room 203B
So our tale comes to an end, or so it seems for the moment but it is just so happy that I needed to let everyone know as this truly is going to be my last blog. I have been journaling the whole time just to have a complete record of her entire journey.
I was originally going to end my blogging days on the day that Allie went off to college and that occurred last week. It was a wonderful day as we dropped her off at the dorm and went inside to get her roo set up. There was something magical about the day - who ever would have thught that just eight short months to the day she would be attending her first class at University. Many, many days ago I would have been happy if she was walking at eight months so leaving her alone in a dorm room was far beyond my wildest dreams. Fourtunately her best friend lives just up one flight in the dorm and she has a beau, so her little life is a fairytale at the moment - away from mom and dad, living in a dorm at a great college and having your best friend and beau right there in the same building. Wow
Well I had to add this one last note: We went and saw Allie last Friday and took her and her gentlemen friend out to dinner. She looked great as she met us in the parking lot and had big hugs and smiles for mom and me. This was great!!! She was happy to see us! We went downtown Asheville and walked aroung for a while and then had a big sushi dinner. It was a snowy day and the weather was cold as we walked around and we were worried for her as she walked the campus going up and down stairs to get to the different buildings but you can't worry about everything, we have learned to let go of many things or at least not voice them out loud. But all of this is said for a reason and lends itself to show how well things are.
Allie is just so happy being Allie and she is so Okay with the accident and being who she is. It makes me cry inside to see her so back in her element - there are som issues but they are minor and nothing that isn't being worked out.
Now back to dinner and the nicest way to end this final entry. As we dropped Allie and Andy off at the dorm we hugged them both good night and as they turned to walk away we sat in the car and watched as they hugged each other. It was dark and the lights were on in the parking lot as they stood there silouetted against the buildings; we could feel the feelings they had for each other - it was a beautiful moment as they then turned for the building and he took her hand in his and together he helped her up the stairs like two sould that belonged together or had possibly been together for a long time and had once again found each other.
Nancy and I sat there in silence knowing that everything was truly going to be okay. As they reached the top of the stairs, she turned and waved to us - and life goes on.
Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
Allie can be reached at:
Allie Cagen
University of NC Asheville
One University Place
Asheville, NC 28801
Founders Hall Room 203B
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Wednesday Morning, January 3rd 2008
With a New Year upon us, we are back to work and school and life as normal. Hard to believe I can say life as normal considering 2007 but this is now our normal life. It's different but it is better in most every way. Funny ow when we set goals we sit back and evaluate where we were, where we are and where we want to go. This time we sat down and figured out where we are and where we want to go because for me there was no before May 14th. On that date we were reborn to a new world and our lives had just begun the journey they were supposed to be on at this time. Will they change again?? If they do we will embrace the change as we do now.
How can we give thanks to everyone who has carried us and loved and prayed for us and supported us on our journey and cared for us and cried with us. How can so many people be so kind. No matter what the shape of the world may appear to be, when there is human struggling, the universe calls it's angels together to surround and support those who need it. Your kindness has overwhelmed us.
From the many people who knitted blankets to those who sent baskets and flowers to those who read and answered the blog to those who visited and to those who prayed for us. THANK YOU
Nancy and I look forward to 2008 as a year of healing, a year of growing and a year of recomitting ourselves to each other and to those who need us.
Allie is doing really well.
So the new year beging with excitement and joy. We have so much to be thankful for.
Stay tuned.
Allie's Dad
How can we give thanks to everyone who has carried us and loved and prayed for us and supported us on our journey and cared for us and cried with us. How can so many people be so kind. No matter what the shape of the world may appear to be, when there is human struggling, the universe calls it's angels together to surround and support those who need it. Your kindness has overwhelmed us.
From the many people who knitted blankets to those who sent baskets and flowers to those who read and answered the blog to those who visited and to those who prayed for us. THANK YOU
Nancy and I look forward to 2008 as a year of healing, a year of growing and a year of recomitting ourselves to each other and to those who need us.
Allie is doing really well.
So the new year beging with excitement and joy. We have so much to be thankful for.
Stay tuned.
Allie's Dad
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Thursday Morning, December 20th
Well it's great to be back.
So much has happened in the last 3 months that it would be impossible for me to catch up in one quick session so I will try to summarize how blessed we have been.
Allie is doing remarkable well and is enjoying life with a new understanding and outlook. She is a softer, kinder, more compassionate and loving teenager. She has been blessed with a second chance in life and she realizes it and is grateful ( a grateful teenage?) Every moment is a blessing and joy. We have our moments but if you spent most of every day with me for the past three months you would understand.
Allie will be going to college in three weeks and will be moving out of the house and into a dorm and while I have had my concerns I am finally at peace with the fact that she will be OK. We have a large group of people who will help, her best friend is only one floor up in the dorm and her mom and I are only an hour away. Sure I still have some trepidation but I must let go because God has a plan for her and I can not interfere with it.
Allie is singing again and doing so well. She now sings four times a week and is singing in a church choir. At the Christmas service the other night we all felt the presence of the creator as she walked the processional. As she went by my knees buckled and I actually had to catch myself from falling. There I was, this great big guy with tears running down my eyes - what a sight - but I knew the full story and the Christmas miracle I had just witnessed.
Allie is having her hair done today for the first time since the accident. Tomorrow it is off to NY to see family, also for the first time since the accident and we are all thrilled.
So much more but have to go to work now. Please continue to pray for Allie and for all of our other friends on caringbridge.com. Paige Cook, Rachel Juliano and Jessie Garren.
We love all of you and are so grateful. Where do we go from her? I don;t know. I guess she will lead and we will follow.
Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
So much has happened in the last 3 months that it would be impossible for me to catch up in one quick session so I will try to summarize how blessed we have been.
Allie is doing remarkable well and is enjoying life with a new understanding and outlook. She is a softer, kinder, more compassionate and loving teenager. She has been blessed with a second chance in life and she realizes it and is grateful ( a grateful teenage?) Every moment is a blessing and joy. We have our moments but if you spent most of every day with me for the past three months you would understand.
Allie will be going to college in three weeks and will be moving out of the house and into a dorm and while I have had my concerns I am finally at peace with the fact that she will be OK. We have a large group of people who will help, her best friend is only one floor up in the dorm and her mom and I are only an hour away. Sure I still have some trepidation but I must let go because God has a plan for her and I can not interfere with it.
Allie is singing again and doing so well. She now sings four times a week and is singing in a church choir. At the Christmas service the other night we all felt the presence of the creator as she walked the processional. As she went by my knees buckled and I actually had to catch myself from falling. There I was, this great big guy with tears running down my eyes - what a sight - but I knew the full story and the Christmas miracle I had just witnessed.
Allie is having her hair done today for the first time since the accident. Tomorrow it is off to NY to see family, also for the first time since the accident and we are all thrilled.
So much more but have to go to work now. Please continue to pray for Allie and for all of our other friends on caringbridge.com. Paige Cook, Rachel Juliano and Jessie Garren.
We love all of you and are so grateful. Where do we go from her? I don;t know. I guess she will lead and we will follow.
Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Wednesday Evening, September 25th
I forgot to add my e-mail address - it is drcagen@citcom.net and my cell phone, should you need to speak with me directly is (828) 553-2139
God Bless
Steve
God Bless
Steve
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