Well today really will be my last blog. It is a year and a half today and the lord had been good to us. It has been a road. Good? Bad? depends on who you are and if you have every experienced anything like this. Your experiences and the way you interpret them will determine how you view them. My experience has been that this was a blessing - maybe in disguise but a blessing none the less.
Really I am to tired at this time to go any further. It's been a long road and I could go further, however to do so would be to prolong viewing this situation as anything other than normal and Nancy, Matt, Allie and I all agree that from this moment on the world is normal. We have always avoided "labeling" where we were during this time. Cosmically the Universe always gives you what you seek and will always create the place the talk about so by thinking and acting like we would achieve full recovery was not only a coping mechanisim but is also something I believe in - Universal Laws - God's Order, however it makes sense to you.
When faced with a devestating situation you have to develop survival skills; not onlt for your loved ones but for your family, friends, business and others you meet and grieve with along the way. Most people are kind and loving - they understand the situation and react appropriately some are still kind and loving but do not know how to act so they do the best they can and avoid and some are just plain buttholes. Along the way no one created more misery for me and my family than my sister Lauren. People reap what they sew. You know I am really sorry to put this in. I have alway tried to be two things: positive and honest so I had to let people know that even during your darkest hour; when you didn't know it could get any worse, evil shows up. We defeated it - enough said. With God's help, we will always turn back evil.
Right now I am by myself at the beach taking a few days away. This is the first time perhaps in twenty something years I have been alone but it was a necessary trip and I was encouraged to go and get some rest and take some time to reflect. The past 18 months have caught up with me and I realize it is now time to let go and stop being the big strong guy, that would be unfair as there have been so many strong people along the way, my beautiful wife and sole mate has been and continues to be my rock and inspiration, Matt you have always been there providing wisdom far beyond your years. I can not say I wish this did not happen because this is our families experience and it could have been no other way. I am only glad that we are so strong and so solid. Of course Allie has been the strongest of all of us as she continues to push herself in a positive direction, accepting what God has geven her and embracing the opportunity to continue her experience on this earth. It's quite amazing, but she is at peace and happier than she was before the accident. She does not moan or complain about the accident but accepts it as her experience and is moving on
Our little girl and she is all of ours continues to take leaps and bounds in her recovery. Some days hard, some not so hard and I think that the hardest thing for me is to stop being so protective - my biggest fears are that someone will hurt her or will damage the good we have all done however, I must back off now - to do otherwise would be to deny her her destiny. an not continue to thik I know what is best for her. How can live the life of an 18 year old girld through the eyes of a 50 year old man. Heck, at 18 I did not know what I wanted to do with my life and at 50 I still not sure I know but one thing is for sure and that is that I can only live a life of service.
Little Allie is going to school and taking two classes this semester and is registered for three new semester. She may still want to pursue her dream of Broadway but is also following a degree in Elementary Education. She loves kids and they love her. She will be able to make a life for herself and will someday have a loving husband and family of her own.
So what have I learned from this experience?
People have thier own experiences in life and whatever they may be, they are thier own - we can only be there to love and support them.
We must love unconditionally
When you don't think you can handle anymore - you can
When you don't think you are strong enough - you are
When you think God has abandoned you - he hasn't
There are plenty of good doctors and nurses - there are plenty of bad doctors and nurses
You are your loved ones best chances of surviving the hospital - don't ever leave them alone
Prayers work
Stay positive - even if you are sometimes maybe not so positive
Donate to the Ronald McDonald House
Help others - even in your time of need - that is the best time to give
Accept the love, prayers and charity of others with dignity and love
Ask for what you need - there is no pride or dignity in the hospitay, only the raw emotions and goodness of others
Make your wishes know to the doctors, nurses and staff at the hospital and stick to your guns. You are in charge - not them.
Use the internet at the hospital to research what they tell you. Don't believe it when they say it is procedure. Also look up the drugs they are giving - what they are for and what the side - effects may be.
Never check your spelling when you blog - I don't.
So where do we go from here? Where ever our experience takes us! We are just going to ride the wave we call life.
God Bless All of You
Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
Just to Clarify - At the moment Full Recovery is a Universal Reality. Soon it will be a physical reality. Mentally, emotionally and spiritually I have not been able to give it the energy it needs. My hands were full and it has been a draining journey. During my time at the beach I have reconnected with God and recomitted to service to God, my family and my community.
Hopefully Full Recovery has helped. I can only say from all of the e-mails I get that is has and it will continue on a larger scale now that we are focusing on healing ourselves so we can help heal others. So stay tuned.
Again, from the bottom of my heart - thank you.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Sat. Morning, Sept 12th
A time of reflection a day of grateful hearts. yesterday morning Allie and I attended the funeral of her young friend Jessie Garren, a beautiful girl, a compassionate soul a soldier for God. Jessie at the young age of 17 went home to be one of God's angels, to sing in the choir of heavenly singers. A beautiful spirit, Jessie had a rare form of cancer, less than 100 cases in the United States.
As an alumni of the Brevard High School Concert Chorus, Allie was invited to sing at the funeral. Allie and Jessie had a special kinship, a soul connection that went deeper than a friendship, they were, in my heart and the hearts of many, the hero girls of Brevard. The brave little girls who were fighting thier injuries and were for all apparent visions, winning, and in some light, they both have. Jessie has been called home to be with her heavenly father, her small frame now cloaked in the fathers light, the pain removed and her new mission broadened. Allie is winning also, she is growing in the light every day, her mental and physical capacities returning to what once was. She continues to expanded her goodness, her being and the essence of her being is so much more Godly - she says Jessie brought her more to the Lord - children helping children.
As we approached the church, Allie was full of apprehension and so was I. She was worried about how she would handle the sight of her friend in an open casket and I also worried about how the stress or surge of emotions would affect her emotional state. Highly emotional events can trigger siezures and this would be a test.
Allie went on aheah of me leaving me to go in by myself. The music was playing and there were pictures celebrating Jessie's life playing on two overhead screens. I cry now as I type, reliving my thoughts of how we, escaped this very event; for I know that God spared us from attending Allie's funeral - but at one time, we were right there. We had released her to heaven and were prepared for her departure.
There is no right or wrong, there is no blame or wondering, There is no asking why me or why Jessie. God has a plan. When a seventeen year old or a five year old or a ninety year old person is called home we can only believe in the big plan and thank God for the time we had together.
A few people in the audience of over 600 commented to me on how good Allie looked and I started to weep. A pictue of Allie and Jessie came up on the overhead and my heart smiled. One child is here today and one is home with our father - it makes you realize you own mortality. Life is fleeting and life is a gift.
As the chorus came on to the stage I saw Allie walk out and it was one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen. Long black skirt and white blouse, she had a presence around her. It was as beautiful as it was emotional for me. I was watching her come back to life as she sang for one that was departing. An angel on earth singing and leading the way for an angel to return to heaven.
Two thirds of the way through the service Allie left the stage and came to find me. It was time to leave. When I first saw her walking towards me I was struck with fear but innately I knew she was OK. She knew she had had enough and had blessed Jessie and her family and any more would have been damaging to her. I applauded her insight.
I thank Jessie for her courage, her goodness and her loving spirit. I thank her for showing me what a selfless person looks like for in her times of trouble she was always there for Allie and others. If you will remember from one of my initial blogs, while Allie was still in a state where she was not speaking or walking, basically a coma with her eyes open Jessie took the time to purchase her a build a bear, recorded a message of encouragement in it and mailed it to Allie. When I opened it, read the letter and listened to the message I sobbed like a baby. It was one of the biggest acts of kindness and selflessness I had ever experienced. At the time Jessie was undergoing cancer treatment in NYC but she took the time to think of Allie. I thank her parents Marilyn and Kit for sharing thier life with us and for showing us the depth of love and faith that is possible. Thier life should be an inspirational book and I am sure that one day it will be.
Today Jessie is free and I am sure her next assignment will be that of an angel. Today we are all free. Free to choose our path, free to become better people, free to improve our relationships with God, our families and our world. Today our family is better and continues to grow.
I once was lost but now I'm found - was blind but now I see.
Love and Hope - Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
As an alumni of the Brevard High School Concert Chorus, Allie was invited to sing at the funeral. Allie and Jessie had a special kinship, a soul connection that went deeper than a friendship, they were, in my heart and the hearts of many, the hero girls of Brevard. The brave little girls who were fighting thier injuries and were for all apparent visions, winning, and in some light, they both have. Jessie has been called home to be with her heavenly father, her small frame now cloaked in the fathers light, the pain removed and her new mission broadened. Allie is winning also, she is growing in the light every day, her mental and physical capacities returning to what once was. She continues to expanded her goodness, her being and the essence of her being is so much more Godly - she says Jessie brought her more to the Lord - children helping children.
As we approached the church, Allie was full of apprehension and so was I. She was worried about how she would handle the sight of her friend in an open casket and I also worried about how the stress or surge of emotions would affect her emotional state. Highly emotional events can trigger siezures and this would be a test.
Allie went on aheah of me leaving me to go in by myself. The music was playing and there were pictures celebrating Jessie's life playing on two overhead screens. I cry now as I type, reliving my thoughts of how we, escaped this very event; for I know that God spared us from attending Allie's funeral - but at one time, we were right there. We had released her to heaven and were prepared for her departure.
There is no right or wrong, there is no blame or wondering, There is no asking why me or why Jessie. God has a plan. When a seventeen year old or a five year old or a ninety year old person is called home we can only believe in the big plan and thank God for the time we had together.
A few people in the audience of over 600 commented to me on how good Allie looked and I started to weep. A pictue of Allie and Jessie came up on the overhead and my heart smiled. One child is here today and one is home with our father - it makes you realize you own mortality. Life is fleeting and life is a gift.
As the chorus came on to the stage I saw Allie walk out and it was one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen. Long black skirt and white blouse, she had a presence around her. It was as beautiful as it was emotional for me. I was watching her come back to life as she sang for one that was departing. An angel on earth singing and leading the way for an angel to return to heaven.
Two thirds of the way through the service Allie left the stage and came to find me. It was time to leave. When I first saw her walking towards me I was struck with fear but innately I knew she was OK. She knew she had had enough and had blessed Jessie and her family and any more would have been damaging to her. I applauded her insight.
I thank Jessie for her courage, her goodness and her loving spirit. I thank her for showing me what a selfless person looks like for in her times of trouble she was always there for Allie and others. If you will remember from one of my initial blogs, while Allie was still in a state where she was not speaking or walking, basically a coma with her eyes open Jessie took the time to purchase her a build a bear, recorded a message of encouragement in it and mailed it to Allie. When I opened it, read the letter and listened to the message I sobbed like a baby. It was one of the biggest acts of kindness and selflessness I had ever experienced. At the time Jessie was undergoing cancer treatment in NYC but she took the time to think of Allie. I thank her parents Marilyn and Kit for sharing thier life with us and for showing us the depth of love and faith that is possible. Thier life should be an inspirational book and I am sure that one day it will be.
Today Jessie is free and I am sure her next assignment will be that of an angel. Today we are all free. Free to choose our path, free to become better people, free to improve our relationships with God, our families and our world. Today our family is better and continues to grow.
I once was lost but now I'm found - was blind but now I see.
Love and Hope - Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Saturday Morning, August 23rd
Again I say, what a difference a day makes, especially with a child who has had a trauma. I do not use words like brain damage because the dictionary defines damage as "injury or harm that reduces value or usefulness" or brain injury because because I do not like what they infer. I am not going to place any limitations on the amount of healing that can occur not am I going to put into my child's mind or my own mind that her most vital organ is damaged or is reduced in usefulness. Instead, I might say she has suffered a temporary traumatic event. Don;t know where that came from but I do not like labels unless they are positve, useful ones.
Back to what a difference a day makes. Last Friday Allie was in the ER with hallicunations and and all kinds of wierd stuff. Then yesterday she attended a local community college. 2 classes, public speaking and theatre appreciation. I waited outside in the parking lot for her and met her between classes. She seemed OK after the first one, so she went to the second. It is so bizzare as Tuesday was the deadline to register and we just acted as if and went through with it. What was the worst that would happen. I mean she was still in the hospital on Tuesday, recoveing from who knows what and no one still knows but how was she ever think she was going to be able to attend class in three days? Was it panic? Was it anxiety? Was it ?????????? Who the heck knows. We just keep searching and hoping and praying and leading by example.
I spoke to my friend Joe Cook yesterday. Many of you have been praying for his daughter Paige and I am going to ask that you continue to do so and if you have a little extra in you, maybe you can pray just a little harder and lets not forget our little friend Rachel. Cars ugh. Three weeks ago I layed my motorcycle down on some wet pavement and went for a long slide. I am OK but please, if you ride and do not wear a helmet, put one on or go visit the neuro ICU. Nuff preaching but my helmet is always on. I can take some scrapes or maybe a broken boke but not a head injury.
To all of my friends who still check in every now and again. Thank you. We love and appreciate you. This is a journey of a thousand steps.
Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
Oh by the way, Allie got a tattoo on her left side chest area last thursday. Whatever? It is a little red heart with a treble cleft and a musical note in it. Yes I took her. It is better I am there then to just have her come home with it. She loves it. I think it is a freedom thing or right of passage. You go girl. Be back again soon to let you know how school is going.
Back to what a difference a day makes. Last Friday Allie was in the ER with hallicunations and and all kinds of wierd stuff. Then yesterday she attended a local community college. 2 classes, public speaking and theatre appreciation. I waited outside in the parking lot for her and met her between classes. She seemed OK after the first one, so she went to the second. It is so bizzare as Tuesday was the deadline to register and we just acted as if and went through with it. What was the worst that would happen. I mean she was still in the hospital on Tuesday, recoveing from who knows what and no one still knows but how was she ever think she was going to be able to attend class in three days? Was it panic? Was it anxiety? Was it ?????????? Who the heck knows. We just keep searching and hoping and praying and leading by example.
I spoke to my friend Joe Cook yesterday. Many of you have been praying for his daughter Paige and I am going to ask that you continue to do so and if you have a little extra in you, maybe you can pray just a little harder and lets not forget our little friend Rachel. Cars ugh. Three weeks ago I layed my motorcycle down on some wet pavement and went for a long slide. I am OK but please, if you ride and do not wear a helmet, put one on or go visit the neuro ICU. Nuff preaching but my helmet is always on. I can take some scrapes or maybe a broken boke but not a head injury.
To all of my friends who still check in every now and again. Thank you. We love and appreciate you. This is a journey of a thousand steps.
Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
Oh by the way, Allie got a tattoo on her left side chest area last thursday. Whatever? It is a little red heart with a treble cleft and a musical note in it. Yes I took her. It is better I am there then to just have her come home with it. She loves it. I think it is a freedom thing or right of passage. You go girl. Be back again soon to let you know how school is going.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Wednesday Evening, August 20th?
As we got home from the hospital last night Allie put on a Tim McGraw song and came to dance with me. I think I fully understand that God wants me to live she said to me and once again I had found my joy but, just two weeks earlier that wasn't the case. I don;t know what happened as thinks were going so well but something did and once again there was fighting, and a lot of discord, to the point that Allie decided that she was moving out - no money, no phone, no car taking only what was hers and leaving a wake of distruction in her path. No reasons, but her own, I guess I know them but will leave them to her. There went all of my dreams and work and effort leaving only with a small bad making the two mile walk in the dark to the main gate of our community. I died that night and the only way I could express my hurt was with harsh words. We cried all night. She was back the next day but I could not forgive and forget, it would take time.
Flash forward to last Friday. As Nancy and I were approaching Beaufort, SC on our 21st wedding anniversary weekend a 4 1/2 hour drive from home we got the call from Allie. She was hurting and didn;t sound good. We got our neightbor over and called our good friend Sabrina to go over. A few minutes later the calls were flying in. We thought at first it was a panic attack or an anxiety induced situation until we hears the screaming and incoherant babble. She could not see and could not move, she was using profanity and it was getting worse quick. Once I heard that she had one pupil large and one small I hung up and called the ambulance. This indicates possible brain swelling. We immediately turned around for a five hour drive home. We didn't know what to expect as we drove, mostly in silence. Would she be OK, would we be OK, we had spoken during the year and wondered if we would have the stregnth to do it again, well we were about to find out.
The ambulance ride was a nightmare but we heard she was calm the whole time but could not turn her head, it was antalgic to the right and she could not see. Was she blind? Oh shit, what now? We had thought we were out of the woods but now wonder if we will ever be. Once at the hospital is when they say she had a seizure in the ambulance. Uhhhh
As we drove we heard that they suspected viral menengitis but that didn't sound right. The did a CAT scan and a lumbar puncture after we got there. The poor baby was so sedated and confused. She didn;t know for days how she got to the hospital or even what happened. They let her come home that night saying there was no organic problems. No virus and no acute brain trauma. Sounded very promising but we were not letting our guard down. Not much sleep that night. Allie was not seeing well and could not find the bathroom in her own room. What the heck - is she blind, was her brain damaged, we were crushed but you don't react, you just help and stay calm on the outside but holy crap, we had no idea.
The next morning I called the neurologist because she was hallucinationg like crazy and was scaring the hell out of us - and by the afternoon she was in room A622 at Mission Hospital in Asheville and I was sleeping on the floor of the hospital once again, confused and unknowing. The hallucinations went on all day and all night and it was quite frightening. The neurologist came by and put her on some medications and then her neurologist came by in the morning. They didn;t seem to concerned but I was. She had not slept or eaten for days and I know that was a huge part of it but for some reason she could not or would not sleep. With a brain injury, sleep is the most important thing you can get in a day. They did an EEG and they could not confirm that she had a seizure so what was it. Basically the little girl had a brain injury which is an unpredictable thing.
Each day she started to get better but was still wobbly and on Tuesday, I told them it was time to go home - no answers and nothing they could do there that we couldn't do at home. Once at home she slept for nine hours last night and hopefully she will get good sleep tonighht and will once and for all understand the importance of being on a schedule. I think it has sunk in.
I really think it is God talking to her and I think she may believe it also. She was going the wrong direction in the beginning and he stopped her and then she started going the wrong way again and he stopped her again. Perhaps it's time to go a different way?
Allie just came into my office and gave me a poem she had written - here it is!
The clutter crowding everything
my room, my sould, my heart, my brain
I don;t want to have regrets
So I carefully look at all my pieces
Keeping all that teaches
Losing all that harms
In time I won't only rely on charm
Life is so important
I can;t waste it
I have to do everything and anything
seeking all that life can bring
Time is fading
There is no time for hating
Always forgive
and remember to Live and let Live
Holding hatred in your heart
can only bring you back to start
You know that's not where you belong
Just ignore it you can go on
You can do it! Just prove yourself
to those who are jealous to those who doubt
I think she is headed for Full Recovery - How about you?
Love and Recovery
Allie's Dad
Flash forward to last Friday. As Nancy and I were approaching Beaufort, SC on our 21st wedding anniversary weekend a 4 1/2 hour drive from home we got the call from Allie. She was hurting and didn;t sound good. We got our neightbor over and called our good friend Sabrina to go over. A few minutes later the calls were flying in. We thought at first it was a panic attack or an anxiety induced situation until we hears the screaming and incoherant babble. She could not see and could not move, she was using profanity and it was getting worse quick. Once I heard that she had one pupil large and one small I hung up and called the ambulance. This indicates possible brain swelling. We immediately turned around for a five hour drive home. We didn't know what to expect as we drove, mostly in silence. Would she be OK, would we be OK, we had spoken during the year and wondered if we would have the stregnth to do it again, well we were about to find out.
The ambulance ride was a nightmare but we heard she was calm the whole time but could not turn her head, it was antalgic to the right and she could not see. Was she blind? Oh shit, what now? We had thought we were out of the woods but now wonder if we will ever be. Once at the hospital is when they say she had a seizure in the ambulance. Uhhhh
As we drove we heard that they suspected viral menengitis but that didn't sound right. The did a CAT scan and a lumbar puncture after we got there. The poor baby was so sedated and confused. She didn;t know for days how she got to the hospital or even what happened. They let her come home that night saying there was no organic problems. No virus and no acute brain trauma. Sounded very promising but we were not letting our guard down. Not much sleep that night. Allie was not seeing well and could not find the bathroom in her own room. What the heck - is she blind, was her brain damaged, we were crushed but you don't react, you just help and stay calm on the outside but holy crap, we had no idea.
The next morning I called the neurologist because she was hallucinationg like crazy and was scaring the hell out of us - and by the afternoon she was in room A622 at Mission Hospital in Asheville and I was sleeping on the floor of the hospital once again, confused and unknowing. The hallucinations went on all day and all night and it was quite frightening. The neurologist came by and put her on some medications and then her neurologist came by in the morning. They didn;t seem to concerned but I was. She had not slept or eaten for days and I know that was a huge part of it but for some reason she could not or would not sleep. With a brain injury, sleep is the most important thing you can get in a day. They did an EEG and they could not confirm that she had a seizure so what was it. Basically the little girl had a brain injury which is an unpredictable thing.
Each day she started to get better but was still wobbly and on Tuesday, I told them it was time to go home - no answers and nothing they could do there that we couldn't do at home. Once at home she slept for nine hours last night and hopefully she will get good sleep tonighht and will once and for all understand the importance of being on a schedule. I think it has sunk in.
I really think it is God talking to her and I think she may believe it also. She was going the wrong direction in the beginning and he stopped her and then she started going the wrong way again and he stopped her again. Perhaps it's time to go a different way?
Allie just came into my office and gave me a poem she had written - here it is!
The clutter crowding everything
my room, my sould, my heart, my brain
I don;t want to have regrets
So I carefully look at all my pieces
Keeping all that teaches
Losing all that harms
In time I won't only rely on charm
Life is so important
I can;t waste it
I have to do everything and anything
seeking all that life can bring
Time is fading
There is no time for hating
Always forgive
and remember to Live and let Live
Holding hatred in your heart
can only bring you back to start
You know that's not where you belong
Just ignore it you can go on
You can do it! Just prove yourself
to those who are jealous to those who doubt
I think she is headed for Full Recovery - How about you?
Love and Recovery
Allie's Dad
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Thursday Evening, July 25th
Well it sure has been a long time and quite a bit has been happening. In light of a few minor personality clashes and my heart breaking (because she does not need me the way she used to) I would say that God has been very very good to us.
What more can I say except that right now Allie is out with a friend and amazingly as it may sound, she drove herself downtown and will drive herself home. I think back to the days when she way lying in a coma with her head bandaged and now she is driving. She had her final check up with the neurologist the other day and her was very pleased and cleared her to drive. It's all happening so fast but it could not have come at a better time as she was getting extremely bored. We live out in the woods, town is an 18 minute drive and the mall is an hour so she was getting frustrated. I really felt bad for her after a while. Here we have an 18 year old girl that had absolutely no control over her life or over her actions right at the time when she needed to spread her wings. I thank God for the second chance she has recieved. Scared *<^%, you bet but whatever is going to happen is going to happen and there is nothing I nor anyone else can do about it unless we put her in a bubble.
It is so odd but Nancy and I are getting some time together again and it is great. we go out for drives at night with the convertable top down through the countryside and we are at peace. We count our blessings and talk. The amazing part is that we are not worried about being away from her, we do not live every moment in fear that soemthing is going to happen while we are out or that she is going to have a huge blow out with her brother. I thank God because I know not like I always have that she is going to be able to make a life for herself. She is going to recover fully and she is going to be able to go to school if she wants but she will be able to get a job, whatever it may be, she will be able to support herself and she will life a good life. Totally blessed.
At Allie's urging we went back toi the hospital on Tuesday to visit the nurses who loved her so much and it is always wonderful for them to see her. They all gather around so proud and so happy that she is doing so well. She is truly one of thier success stories. We did not get to see Dr. Gardner - my main man - in my eyes the man who brought her back to us with his loving skill. The man is a true vehicle. It is alway nice to go back and not have to stay. I met with one of the hospital administrators while I was there are we are working on getting a Full Recovery Support group started in the hospital. It is so needed. Being away for awhile you can lose touch and that is not something that I ever want to do and I never will.
So mauch happens when a trauma occurs, not only to the person but to the family and it takes so long to recover for everyone.
To my friends and loved ones and those still suffering I wish you a speedy recovery.
From all of us, we love you - keep the faith - God's delay is not God's denial!!
Full recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
What more can I say except that right now Allie is out with a friend and amazingly as it may sound, she drove herself downtown and will drive herself home. I think back to the days when she way lying in a coma with her head bandaged and now she is driving. She had her final check up with the neurologist the other day and her was very pleased and cleared her to drive. It's all happening so fast but it could not have come at a better time as she was getting extremely bored. We live out in the woods, town is an 18 minute drive and the mall is an hour so she was getting frustrated. I really felt bad for her after a while. Here we have an 18 year old girl that had absolutely no control over her life or over her actions right at the time when she needed to spread her wings. I thank God for the second chance she has recieved. Scared *<^%, you bet but whatever is going to happen is going to happen and there is nothing I nor anyone else can do about it unless we put her in a bubble.
It is so odd but Nancy and I are getting some time together again and it is great. we go out for drives at night with the convertable top down through the countryside and we are at peace. We count our blessings and talk. The amazing part is that we are not worried about being away from her, we do not live every moment in fear that soemthing is going to happen while we are out or that she is going to have a huge blow out with her brother. I thank God because I know not like I always have that she is going to be able to make a life for herself. She is going to recover fully and she is going to be able to go to school if she wants but she will be able to get a job, whatever it may be, she will be able to support herself and she will life a good life. Totally blessed.
At Allie's urging we went back toi the hospital on Tuesday to visit the nurses who loved her so much and it is always wonderful for them to see her. They all gather around so proud and so happy that she is doing so well. She is truly one of thier success stories. We did not get to see Dr. Gardner - my main man - in my eyes the man who brought her back to us with his loving skill. The man is a true vehicle. It is alway nice to go back and not have to stay. I met with one of the hospital administrators while I was there are we are working on getting a Full Recovery Support group started in the hospital. It is so needed. Being away for awhile you can lose touch and that is not something that I ever want to do and I never will.
So mauch happens when a trauma occurs, not only to the person but to the family and it takes so long to recover for everyone.
To my friends and loved ones and those still suffering I wish you a speedy recovery.
From all of us, we love you - keep the faith - God's delay is not God's denial!!
Full recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Wednesday Morning, June 25, 2008
Hi Everyone
Been a little. Here is the scoop. Allie is doing well and certainly growing as a person in all ways. She is certainly growing to a new level and we think it is because she is finally off of all her medications. She is much more "alive" now and in a couple of weeks when her system is totally cleaned out she will probably reach all new levels. She is now initiating and being active and doing workbooks and puzzles, all things she was not doing before. Now when she is sitting watching television she picks up her blue jeans and does cross stitch o them. She has been going to the pool and as of Monday we have let her drive the car to the pool by herself. When her system is cleaned out and she drives with me a few more times we will let her begin driving again - a whole new lease on life.
Allie has been singing at church again and has begun to realize that if she wants to be a singer she has to practice a lot and so now she is singing all of the time. Sweet music. As far as school, who the heck knows and really who the heck cares - if - when- whatever all in good time. We are looking into a tutor to come over the house a few days a week and suprisingly we have met with no resistance in fact Allie said, I trust you and if that's what you think I need then let's do it. Cool.
Well, that's all for now. God bless.
Allie's Dad
Been a little. Here is the scoop. Allie is doing well and certainly growing as a person in all ways. She is certainly growing to a new level and we think it is because she is finally off of all her medications. She is much more "alive" now and in a couple of weeks when her system is totally cleaned out she will probably reach all new levels. She is now initiating and being active and doing workbooks and puzzles, all things she was not doing before. Now when she is sitting watching television she picks up her blue jeans and does cross stitch o them. She has been going to the pool and as of Monday we have let her drive the car to the pool by herself. When her system is cleaned out and she drives with me a few more times we will let her begin driving again - a whole new lease on life.
Allie has been singing at church again and has begun to realize that if she wants to be a singer she has to practice a lot and so now she is singing all of the time. Sweet music. As far as school, who the heck knows and really who the heck cares - if - when- whatever all in good time. We are looking into a tutor to come over the house a few days a week and suprisingly we have met with no resistance in fact Allie said, I trust you and if that's what you think I need then let's do it. Cool.
Well, that's all for now. God bless.
Allie's Dad
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Sunday Evening, June 6th
Taken awhile to get back as I know that some of y'all want to know what happened to Allie at the audition. She sang beautifully for the play and was told so by the directors but they did not give her the part. On any other day it would have been hers but this was a very big part and the person was on stage for 2 straight hours; they, like I felt that would have been to much right now but they all love Allie.
Allie is coming off of her medicine slowly (the right way) and will be driving on her own in 4-6 weeks. She is filling out an application for Brevard College and excellent theatre and music college right here in our own little town and I heard a few minutes ago that she went to K-Mart to apply for a summer job. This really inspires me because it shows she is initiating things and wants to get in the work force where her friends are. Yeah!
All is good at home. Matt and I just finished getting our scuba certifications today and it is great to spend time with him and have a sport/hobby in common - something we can do together for many years to come. I like that because we will always be able to go on vacation together (alone) and have that father - son time. Makes me happy. I life I look down the road and create visions of where I see myself and it is a nice vision to see me and him sitting around a dive hotel on a tropical island for a few days just being together - smile!
Quick update, love you all but I have 12,000 pounds of gravel in the driveway that isn't gonna move itself.
Have an AWESOME DAY!
Allie's Dad
PS - I will have a new picture and some video of her singing as soon as I refigure out how
Allie is coming off of her medicine slowly (the right way) and will be driving on her own in 4-6 weeks. She is filling out an application for Brevard College and excellent theatre and music college right here in our own little town and I heard a few minutes ago that she went to K-Mart to apply for a summer job. This really inspires me because it shows she is initiating things and wants to get in the work force where her friends are. Yeah!
All is good at home. Matt and I just finished getting our scuba certifications today and it is great to spend time with him and have a sport/hobby in common - something we can do together for many years to come. I like that because we will always be able to go on vacation together (alone) and have that father - son time. Makes me happy. I life I look down the road and create visions of where I see myself and it is a nice vision to see me and him sitting around a dive hotel on a tropical island for a few days just being together - smile!
Quick update, love you all but I have 12,000 pounds of gravel in the driveway that isn't gonna move itself.
Have an AWESOME DAY!
Allie's Dad
PS - I will have a new picture and some video of her singing as soon as I refigure out how
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Saturday Afternoon, May 31, 2008
HI Everyone
Wow. Mistake in the first word and I am still not going to go back and correct it. I really don;t know where I left off because I still have not gone back to read the blog but something told me to write again. You Know, the longer you get away from the accident the more you seem to forgetbut the more you seem to remind yourself because you do not want to forget. You want to remeber or at least I want to remember all of the pain because from the pain comes the good. It's almost as if you have to hurt or have pain to see the goodness. Sound kind of morbid or morose but I assure you it is not because by remembering I am able to look at my whole family with the new eyes I was given a year ago. It makes me appreciate them more. It reminds me of the old story of the yound childwho asked his parents if he could go in and be alone with thier new infant. The parents were a little leery but agreed after they turned on the baby moniter. As the youngster eneterd the room they sat and listened intently as the child walked up to the infants cribs and began talking to him, to thier amazwement the child started talking to the infant and then asked him in an urgent child's voice he said to the infant, please tell me about God, I'm starting to forget. That is how it is with me. If I do not constantly remind myslef, I start to forget. So here I am - remembering.
Really, all is well. Together as a family we have never been better. There is no anger or fighting it is calm and not the calm before the storm because the storm has passed. It's been over a year and I feel as if we are all starting to get our lives back. I have thought this before but this time I know it. Full Recover, never shaken, never a doubt.
I think God put the spirit in me to write today because of an upcoming recital Allie will be singin in tomorrow evening, You know that over the past six or seven months I ahve been taking Allie to her voice lessons which was thrilling enough that she was even able to sing and I thought it would be years before she regained her form but Wednesday evening at the pre-reciatl rehersal I listened to her sing and I was floored. Her first song I Have Confidence was apprapoe and she sand it well. I was so happy and inside of myself I was blown away as I though quietly - She is READY. At that moment there was not a doubt in my soul that she was ready for the stage - right then and there I knew she without a doubt was Ready. Then she sand her second song and it was so true and so meaningful in the words that I knew God gave that song to her instructor to sing. When you walk through a song, keep your head up high. (Did she not walk through astorm and she has held her heal so high) and don't be afraid of the dark (she never has been) at the end of the storm is a golden sky (her middle name is Syke) and as she emerges into Full Recovery she certainly is a Golden Skye and the sweet silver song of a lark (her angles?) walk on through the rain, walk on through the storm though your dreams be tossed and turned (and they were). Holy crap, here she was on stage a Golden Skye - she walked through the storm and continues to do so. Phew, by remembering I am able to see all of the waking dreams that I do not see when I am to bust "in life".
On the ride home from the rehersal, I told Allie how wonderful she sang and let her know that I thought she was ready. I could tell how proud she was. Then I asked her if there were any tryouts for plays coming up and she told me everything was booked for the summer. Bummer but who knows everything works out. Then about an hour ago she came to me and asked for a ride downtown. When I asked why she told me there was a tryout for Radio Girls, a musical comedy, just her thing. Well I was dirty from working in the yard so Nancy scopped her up and drove her downtown. Tryouts are today and tomorrow so we won;t know for a few days but as soon as I find out, so will you.
I really have missed writing and thanking you all for your continued love and support. Take it slow today and look for the angels and God signals in your life.
Love you all - Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
Wow. Mistake in the first word and I am still not going to go back and correct it. I really don;t know where I left off because I still have not gone back to read the blog but something told me to write again. You Know, the longer you get away from the accident the more you seem to forgetbut the more you seem to remind yourself because you do not want to forget. You want to remeber or at least I want to remember all of the pain because from the pain comes the good. It's almost as if you have to hurt or have pain to see the goodness. Sound kind of morbid or morose but I assure you it is not because by remembering I am able to look at my whole family with the new eyes I was given a year ago. It makes me appreciate them more. It reminds me of the old story of the yound childwho asked his parents if he could go in and be alone with thier new infant. The parents were a little leery but agreed after they turned on the baby moniter. As the youngster eneterd the room they sat and listened intently as the child walked up to the infants cribs and began talking to him, to thier amazwement the child started talking to the infant and then asked him in an urgent child's voice he said to the infant, please tell me about God, I'm starting to forget. That is how it is with me. If I do not constantly remind myslef, I start to forget. So here I am - remembering.
Really, all is well. Together as a family we have never been better. There is no anger or fighting it is calm and not the calm before the storm because the storm has passed. It's been over a year and I feel as if we are all starting to get our lives back. I have thought this before but this time I know it. Full Recover, never shaken, never a doubt.
I think God put the spirit in me to write today because of an upcoming recital Allie will be singin in tomorrow evening, You know that over the past six or seven months I ahve been taking Allie to her voice lessons which was thrilling enough that she was even able to sing and I thought it would be years before she regained her form but Wednesday evening at the pre-reciatl rehersal I listened to her sing and I was floored. Her first song I Have Confidence was apprapoe and she sand it well. I was so happy and inside of myself I was blown away as I though quietly - She is READY. At that moment there was not a doubt in my soul that she was ready for the stage - right then and there I knew she without a doubt was Ready. Then she sand her second song and it was so true and so meaningful in the words that I knew God gave that song to her instructor to sing. When you walk through a song, keep your head up high. (Did she not walk through astorm and she has held her heal so high) and don't be afraid of the dark (she never has been) at the end of the storm is a golden sky (her middle name is Syke) and as she emerges into Full Recovery she certainly is a Golden Skye and the sweet silver song of a lark (her angles?) walk on through the rain, walk on through the storm though your dreams be tossed and turned (and they were). Holy crap, here she was on stage a Golden Skye - she walked through the storm and continues to do so. Phew, by remembering I am able to see all of the waking dreams that I do not see when I am to bust "in life".
On the ride home from the rehersal, I told Allie how wonderful she sang and let her know that I thought she was ready. I could tell how proud she was. Then I asked her if there were any tryouts for plays coming up and she told me everything was booked for the summer. Bummer but who knows everything works out. Then about an hour ago she came to me and asked for a ride downtown. When I asked why she told me there was a tryout for Radio Girls, a musical comedy, just her thing. Well I was dirty from working in the yard so Nancy scopped her up and drove her downtown. Tryouts are today and tomorrow so we won;t know for a few days but as soon as I find out, so will you.
I really have missed writing and thanking you all for your continued love and support. Take it slow today and look for the angels and God signals in your life.
Love you all - Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Wednesday, May 14th 2008
Where does one begin. It has been one year to the day that Allie had her accident; one that changed her life, our lives and the lives of countless people around the world. As I write it is 365 days ago to this moment that she was being rescued by some very special people and Nancy and I knew nothing of what was going on. We were unaware that at that very moment as we sat watching TV she was fighting for her life . Call it a mother intuition but Nancy was uneasy all night which was not like her; she did not eat dinner that night and kept saying she had an uneasy feeling - at 10:00pm we found out what that feeling was - it seems so long ago but the uneasyness remains not in the same way but in ways that we live with everyday. It's getting better.
Today was a very happy day for me. It was kind of a birthday I thought. I did not share this feeling but I thought of today as Allie's real birthday and someday I may ask her if she would like to celebrate her Birthday on May 14 vs. her real birthday. I thought of the differences. On February 6th God brought her into this world but on May 14th he gave her another opportunity - a rebirth, a new chance at life. She was blessed and so were we.
Who knows why things happen the way they do or why they happen to certain people (I never thought it would happen to me) but I can and will safely say that it was only our faith in God and his plan that we (Allie included) survived and as Nancy says, "we survived intact." We can out of this whole.
I remember the days before the accident and I would take today hands down. Today we are more loving, more compassionate, more honest, and more patient. We enjoy each others company and that's good because we are together alot. We are all at peace - with the accident and with our lives in general. We are all OK with where we are today and we look forward to a bright bright future.
Allie is great. Everyday she gets better and better. The are still moments of minor concern but we have all learned how to deal with them and accept them as a part of healing. Brain injuries take a long, long time we are told but again that is thier perception, one which we refuse to accept as we have refused to accept the medical standard on every aspect of her journey. That has helped! Why accept what others say is normal? Why accept limitations? We can't do it and we always refused to do so.
Allie is out tonight at a friends house, something that astounds us. Sometimes you don't want to say anthing about her healing because you don't want to jinx it but then that wouldn't be having 100% faith but maybe sometimes I'm only 99%. Sometimes I worry when she goes out but that's just normal. I don;t worry about her health wise, it's more of a parental thing, you don't want anybody to be mean to her or take advantage of her. That is my biggest fear/worry, that someone may hurt her. I know it is unfounded but......
Tomorrow we will register her for one class at our local community college. Asheville was to soon but now may be the time to try again. I go into this as I do with everything, no expecting anything and completely unattached to the outcome. She will do great. Really it is incredible to see how far she has come. She is so nice all of the time, she loves to laugh again and she wants to get on with her life. She is ameniable to every form of therapy we come up with and she will soon be driving in a few weeks barring any ............. I have let her drive me around and she is a good drive, always was, so that's a lesson right there.
Once of the things I really wanted to do tonight was to say Happy Birthday to Allie and to share a little bit about where we are now but really I wanted to say thank you a million times over to all of the people who loved us and prayed for us and helped us in our time of need. Thank you to God, and Beth and Kent who found her and to Marty who stayed with her and for two and half hours keeping her alive until she got cut out of the car. Holy crap Marty - Thank You, Thank You, Thank You a million times Thank you to the paramedics and the helocopter pilots, Thank you to the ER personnel and to Dr. Stephen Gardner my hero and a brilliant neurosurgeon, your skills are one of the reasons Allie is out tonight enjoying herself and when I tried to thank you you were so humble thank you and thank you to everyone at Greenville Memorial, The Ronald McDonald House a truly sacred place Thank you to everyone at the Roger C. peace Center (yes we love Mark Clark) and the entire staff of therapists. Thank you to Lowery, a reverend who addopted us and visited us in the hospital many times he is also Beth's husband, Thank You and Thank God for Tommy Owen another ministed who single handidly help me stay sane and whose faith gave me faith. Thank you to all of our friends, and supporters, (to many to list but you know who you are), Thanks you to all of the FLYBabies who loved us and supported us. Thank you to the two Marlas - one was the first person to the hospital and one showered Allie with love and gifts and prayers. Her genorosity to total strangers we had never experienced and may never again. She practiced more than a random act of kindness and her picture is on my refrigerator. If I could build a shrine to all of you, I would. I know I am missing people but I am getting emotional, it's late and really I am just typing and trying not to think to hard. I never want to lose the emotions of those days but I am stsrting to relive them and my heart is beginning to hurt so let's move on. My heart does not hurt foe me or Allie or my family but it hurts for the many friends we have made, it hurts because I can feel their emotions as they fight thier own struggles. I pray for all of them. We have been blessed.
I have really worked at being honest and open about my feelings and about what has transpired over the last year. The blog has been cathardic for me. It has eased my heart and helped me deal with everything. I am glad I had it.
Well, if an.yone is still out there - thank you for checking it
Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
Today was a very happy day for me. It was kind of a birthday I thought. I did not share this feeling but I thought of today as Allie's real birthday and someday I may ask her if she would like to celebrate her Birthday on May 14 vs. her real birthday. I thought of the differences. On February 6th God brought her into this world but on May 14th he gave her another opportunity - a rebirth, a new chance at life. She was blessed and so were we.
Who knows why things happen the way they do or why they happen to certain people (I never thought it would happen to me) but I can and will safely say that it was only our faith in God and his plan that we (Allie included) survived and as Nancy says, "we survived intact." We can out of this whole.
I remember the days before the accident and I would take today hands down. Today we are more loving, more compassionate, more honest, and more patient. We enjoy each others company and that's good because we are together alot. We are all at peace - with the accident and with our lives in general. We are all OK with where we are today and we look forward to a bright bright future.
Allie is great. Everyday she gets better and better. The are still moments of minor concern but we have all learned how to deal with them and accept them as a part of healing. Brain injuries take a long, long time we are told but again that is thier perception, one which we refuse to accept as we have refused to accept the medical standard on every aspect of her journey. That has helped! Why accept what others say is normal? Why accept limitations? We can't do it and we always refused to do so.
Allie is out tonight at a friends house, something that astounds us. Sometimes you don't want to say anthing about her healing because you don't want to jinx it but then that wouldn't be having 100% faith but maybe sometimes I'm only 99%. Sometimes I worry when she goes out but that's just normal. I don;t worry about her health wise, it's more of a parental thing, you don't want anybody to be mean to her or take advantage of her. That is my biggest fear/worry, that someone may hurt her. I know it is unfounded but......
Tomorrow we will register her for one class at our local community college. Asheville was to soon but now may be the time to try again. I go into this as I do with everything, no expecting anything and completely unattached to the outcome. She will do great. Really it is incredible to see how far she has come. She is so nice all of the time, she loves to laugh again and she wants to get on with her life. She is ameniable to every form of therapy we come up with and she will soon be driving in a few weeks barring any ............. I have let her drive me around and she is a good drive, always was, so that's a lesson right there.
Once of the things I really wanted to do tonight was to say Happy Birthday to Allie and to share a little bit about where we are now but really I wanted to say thank you a million times over to all of the people who loved us and prayed for us and helped us in our time of need. Thank you to God, and Beth and Kent who found her and to Marty who stayed with her and for two and half hours keeping her alive until she got cut out of the car. Holy crap Marty - Thank You, Thank You, Thank You a million times Thank you to the paramedics and the helocopter pilots, Thank you to the ER personnel and to Dr. Stephen Gardner my hero and a brilliant neurosurgeon, your skills are one of the reasons Allie is out tonight enjoying herself and when I tried to thank you you were so humble thank you and thank you to everyone at Greenville Memorial, The Ronald McDonald House a truly sacred place Thank you to everyone at the Roger C. peace Center (yes we love Mark Clark) and the entire staff of therapists. Thank you to Lowery, a reverend who addopted us and visited us in the hospital many times he is also Beth's husband, Thank You and Thank God for Tommy Owen another ministed who single handidly help me stay sane and whose faith gave me faith. Thank you to all of our friends, and supporters, (to many to list but you know who you are), Thanks you to all of the FLYBabies who loved us and supported us. Thank you to the two Marlas - one was the first person to the hospital and one showered Allie with love and gifts and prayers. Her genorosity to total strangers we had never experienced and may never again. She practiced more than a random act of kindness and her picture is on my refrigerator. If I could build a shrine to all of you, I would. I know I am missing people but I am getting emotional, it's late and really I am just typing and trying not to think to hard. I never want to lose the emotions of those days but I am stsrting to relive them and my heart is beginning to hurt so let's move on. My heart does not hurt foe me or Allie or my family but it hurts for the many friends we have made, it hurts because I can feel their emotions as they fight thier own struggles. I pray for all of them. We have been blessed.
I have really worked at being honest and open about my feelings and about what has transpired over the last year. The blog has been cathardic for me. It has eased my heart and helped me deal with everything. I am glad I had it.
Well, if an.yone is still out there - thank you for checking it
Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
Monday, March 31, 2008
Monday Morning, March 31 2008
The days are getting easier with less tension and worry. We can now go for days without a fight or a struggle and life is becoming normal. We have been there before but I feel as if the other shoe has already dropped so one day at a time we walk with God. This has become a great thing for all of us. We have taken a lot of the hurry out of life and yet, as promised we are provided for.
Allie is doing well. She is a new and improved person as she walks the trail of recovery. You reach an odd point when the person does not know they are recovering to the time they realize that something is different and they themselves understand it. The better part is when they actually work towards recovering themselves with that goal in mind. What can I do to help myself recover? In business there is the story about different levels of person. The unconscious incompetent - they don't know they don't know; the conscious competent - they know they don't know; the conscious competent - they have the think about what they are doing and the unconscious competent - this is what we all strive for - being so good at something that it is automatic - second nature. This is what all brain injuries strive for - becoming the conscious competent. We are not there yet but time and caring people her will allow her to reach her fullest recovery.
Allie has become very bored sitting around the house while mom or dad worked and has taken some steps to solve that. She has become a volunteer at a church day care center and she loves it. Only been there once so far but she has a great time with little children and her heart is so big that that are automatically attracted to her. She will also begin waiting tables again this week. The inn where she worked before opens tomorrow and they offered her her position back. Now for the crazy part. With her personality she wanted to do some DJ work so she was to train with a comapny but they wanted to get out of the DJ business and focus on their equipment rentals so, you guessed it, we are now in the DJ business. Stay tuned for that one. Thank God we have their best DJ (Marcus) staying with us and he isa training Allie - First gig is Friday night at a middle school dance. Just one more way for me to lose my sanity but we walk all avenues.
Right now we are looking at more colleges for Allie in the area. Today I will pick up the class schedules for summer school from our local CC and she will take one or two classes right her in our town to she how she does. Nest week I will fly her to a college in Salisbury, NC where she will sing at an audition. Who knows? Great school, great college (Catawba) but in the mountain of NC and not the lights of Broadway (yet)
The only negative and believe me it is not a negative about becoming aware is the sadness that accomapnies the realization she has of what was and what is. It is not bad or often and I think 3 days of rain and being inside can trigger it in anyone but still, counseling should help.
Well off to work. Hope you all have a great day. We love you and thank you for your thoughts, prayers and gifts. May you always be blessed.
Allie's Dad
Allie is doing well. She is a new and improved person as she walks the trail of recovery. You reach an odd point when the person does not know they are recovering to the time they realize that something is different and they themselves understand it. The better part is when they actually work towards recovering themselves with that goal in mind. What can I do to help myself recover? In business there is the story about different levels of person. The unconscious incompetent - they don't know they don't know; the conscious competent - they know they don't know; the conscious competent - they have the think about what they are doing and the unconscious competent - this is what we all strive for - being so good at something that it is automatic - second nature. This is what all brain injuries strive for - becoming the conscious competent. We are not there yet but time and caring people her will allow her to reach her fullest recovery.
Allie has become very bored sitting around the house while mom or dad worked and has taken some steps to solve that. She has become a volunteer at a church day care center and she loves it. Only been there once so far but she has a great time with little children and her heart is so big that that are automatically attracted to her. She will also begin waiting tables again this week. The inn where she worked before opens tomorrow and they offered her her position back. Now for the crazy part. With her personality she wanted to do some DJ work so she was to train with a comapny but they wanted to get out of the DJ business and focus on their equipment rentals so, you guessed it, we are now in the DJ business. Stay tuned for that one. Thank God we have their best DJ (Marcus) staying with us and he isa training Allie - First gig is Friday night at a middle school dance. Just one more way for me to lose my sanity but we walk all avenues.
Right now we are looking at more colleges for Allie in the area. Today I will pick up the class schedules for summer school from our local CC and she will take one or two classes right her in our town to she how she does. Nest week I will fly her to a college in Salisbury, NC where she will sing at an audition. Who knows? Great school, great college (Catawba) but in the mountain of NC and not the lights of Broadway (yet)
The only negative and believe me it is not a negative about becoming aware is the sadness that accomapnies the realization she has of what was and what is. It is not bad or often and I think 3 days of rain and being inside can trigger it in anyone but still, counseling should help.
Well off to work. Hope you all have a great day. We love you and thank you for your thoughts, prayers and gifts. May you always be blessed.
Allie's Dad
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Wednesday Evening, March 18th, 2008
Hi Everyone
Just a quick note to update everyone to Allie's whereabouts. For the last five weeks she has been home with us. School didn't work out but it was a heck of an effort. We are enthusiastically looking forward to September or whenever. Right now Allie is just healing and is looking for a part time job possibly in a day care. She has a gift working with little children - they have always been very attracted to her. She is back to her singing lessons and looking for ways to stay active. Right now she is kind of just plain bored but tomorrow we will visit a couple of local churches that have day cares in them and the inn where she waitress' will be opening in another week. We will be going back to some therapies in a week. Anything and everything - right?
On a more fun side she did get her nose pierced and believe it or not it is just adorable - even big daddy approved - aw heck - I took her to get it and she was brave - even when I couldn't go in the room with her. She wanted to back out once in the room but she went through with it - it was a big step. She is getting back into putting on makeup and being fashionable.
We have little tiffs but nothing like before and they end almost as soon as they begin. We spent 5 days at the beach together and had a great time.
Well she is now home (right where she belongs) and accepting mail at 91 Ugedaliyvi Ct. (yeah I spelled it right), Brevard, NC 28712.
Thank you all so much for your continued prayers and support.
God Bless You - Happy Easter
Allie's Dad
Just a quick note to update everyone to Allie's whereabouts. For the last five weeks she has been home with us. School didn't work out but it was a heck of an effort. We are enthusiastically looking forward to September or whenever. Right now Allie is just healing and is looking for a part time job possibly in a day care. She has a gift working with little children - they have always been very attracted to her. She is back to her singing lessons and looking for ways to stay active. Right now she is kind of just plain bored but tomorrow we will visit a couple of local churches that have day cares in them and the inn where she waitress' will be opening in another week. We will be going back to some therapies in a week. Anything and everything - right?
On a more fun side she did get her nose pierced and believe it or not it is just adorable - even big daddy approved - aw heck - I took her to get it and she was brave - even when I couldn't go in the room with her. She wanted to back out once in the room but she went through with it - it was a big step. She is getting back into putting on makeup and being fashionable.
We have little tiffs but nothing like before and they end almost as soon as they begin. We spent 5 days at the beach together and had a great time.
Well she is now home (right where she belongs) and accepting mail at 91 Ugedaliyvi Ct. (yeah I spelled it right), Brevard, NC 28712.
Thank you all so much for your continued prayers and support.
God Bless You - Happy Easter
Allie's Dad
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Sunday Morning, March, 15th
Hi Everyone
Here we are 10 months after the accident and still healing. WIll be for a long time to come. When people told us initially to save our energy because head trauma is a marathon they were not kidding. We are probably around the 15 mile marker - thank goodness for all of the caring people who have stood by us as we continue to help our daughter heal.
To keep you updated, Allie is at home with us and has been for around a month. School was not the best route to go and just added extra stress to all of us. We all gave it a go and it certainly was the right thing to do. Since Allie's been home it has been great. We are spending a lot of time together and doing a lot of growing, not onlt in the sense of physical as I think that is secondary to the emotional and spititual growth and healing that we have gone and are going through. It's truly amazing to be a part of a rebirth.
I have been actively seeking new therapists for Allie ie: cognative training and psychotherapy and it a lot, lot, lot harder to find the right people than I ever would have imagined and then there are those that seem to want to help but never call you back. I know God is putting the right people in the right places for us. Boy trauma certainly changes your life's experience or is it the experience you are supposed to be having. A long time ago, nancy and I took ourselves out of the picture and realized that we needed to dedicate our lives to the children and it has helped. Putting your own needs on the back burned to help someone else is unconditional love and it help make our world right.
It still seems wierd to me that I am writing about a little girl who has come so far when so many of my friends are are moving at a less quick pace but I guess that is what I have been called to do. Maybe our story gives others hope and inspiration and if nothing else maybe thay will know we love then and we can help be thier rock.
For those that are wondering what is going on with Full Recovery, we are still moving forward. I think I was moving to quickly and needed to heal myself a little more but currently we are still seeking a web designed who will do our project and not cost a fortune. We have at last count over 185 pages of information to be posted (all in word document) if anyone wants to jump in and we are taking the names of people who would like to join our prayer group as an internet prayer partner. If this is something you would like to do, please e-mail me at drcagen@citcom.net
Allie had her best day yesterday since coming home. She was clear and happy, no confrontation and it was a joyful day.
We have also created another blog called http://www.howtosurvivethehospital.blogspot.com/ this is a forum hof peoples hospital stories both good and bad and allows them to give us advice to be used on the web site as to how they managed to survive their stay. How to survive the hospital is not negative but very postive we want to hear what you did to survive as a family and what you did to survive the medical staff and the medical bills. We also want to know what techniques you employed, what you liked and did not like and how you made your experience better. We will then share this information on our site.
That's all for today. We love and appreciate you!
Allie's Dad
Here we are 10 months after the accident and still healing. WIll be for a long time to come. When people told us initially to save our energy because head trauma is a marathon they were not kidding. We are probably around the 15 mile marker - thank goodness for all of the caring people who have stood by us as we continue to help our daughter heal.
To keep you updated, Allie is at home with us and has been for around a month. School was not the best route to go and just added extra stress to all of us. We all gave it a go and it certainly was the right thing to do. Since Allie's been home it has been great. We are spending a lot of time together and doing a lot of growing, not onlt in the sense of physical as I think that is secondary to the emotional and spititual growth and healing that we have gone and are going through. It's truly amazing to be a part of a rebirth.
I have been actively seeking new therapists for Allie ie: cognative training and psychotherapy and it a lot, lot, lot harder to find the right people than I ever would have imagined and then there are those that seem to want to help but never call you back. I know God is putting the right people in the right places for us. Boy trauma certainly changes your life's experience or is it the experience you are supposed to be having. A long time ago, nancy and I took ourselves out of the picture and realized that we needed to dedicate our lives to the children and it has helped. Putting your own needs on the back burned to help someone else is unconditional love and it help make our world right.
It still seems wierd to me that I am writing about a little girl who has come so far when so many of my friends are are moving at a less quick pace but I guess that is what I have been called to do. Maybe our story gives others hope and inspiration and if nothing else maybe thay will know we love then and we can help be thier rock.
For those that are wondering what is going on with Full Recovery, we are still moving forward. I think I was moving to quickly and needed to heal myself a little more but currently we are still seeking a web designed who will do our project and not cost a fortune. We have at last count over 185 pages of information to be posted (all in word document) if anyone wants to jump in and we are taking the names of people who would like to join our prayer group as an internet prayer partner. If this is something you would like to do, please e-mail me at drcagen@citcom.net
Allie had her best day yesterday since coming home. She was clear and happy, no confrontation and it was a joyful day.
We have also created another blog called http://www.howtosurvivethehospital.blogspot.com/ this is a forum hof peoples hospital stories both good and bad and allows them to give us advice to be used on the web site as to how they managed to survive their stay. How to survive the hospital is not negative but very postive we want to hear what you did to survive as a family and what you did to survive the medical staff and the medical bills. We also want to know what techniques you employed, what you liked and did not like and how you made your experience better. We will then share this information on our site.
That's all for today. We love and appreciate you!
Allie's Dad
Monday, January 21, 2008
Monday Morning, January 19
Hi Everyone
So our tale comes to an end, or so it seems for the moment but it is just so happy that I needed to let everyone know as this truly is going to be my last blog. I have been journaling the whole time just to have a complete record of her entire journey.
I was originally going to end my blogging days on the day that Allie went off to college and that occurred last week. It was a wonderful day as we dropped her off at the dorm and went inside to get her roo set up. There was something magical about the day - who ever would have thught that just eight short months to the day she would be attending her first class at University. Many, many days ago I would have been happy if she was walking at eight months so leaving her alone in a dorm room was far beyond my wildest dreams. Fourtunately her best friend lives just up one flight in the dorm and she has a beau, so her little life is a fairytale at the moment - away from mom and dad, living in a dorm at a great college and having your best friend and beau right there in the same building. Wow
Well I had to add this one last note: We went and saw Allie last Friday and took her and her gentlemen friend out to dinner. She looked great as she met us in the parking lot and had big hugs and smiles for mom and me. This was great!!! She was happy to see us! We went downtown Asheville and walked aroung for a while and then had a big sushi dinner. It was a snowy day and the weather was cold as we walked around and we were worried for her as she walked the campus going up and down stairs to get to the different buildings but you can't worry about everything, we have learned to let go of many things or at least not voice them out loud. But all of this is said for a reason and lends itself to show how well things are.
Allie is just so happy being Allie and she is so Okay with the accident and being who she is. It makes me cry inside to see her so back in her element - there are som issues but they are minor and nothing that isn't being worked out.
Now back to dinner and the nicest way to end this final entry. As we dropped Allie and Andy off at the dorm we hugged them both good night and as they turned to walk away we sat in the car and watched as they hugged each other. It was dark and the lights were on in the parking lot as they stood there silouetted against the buildings; we could feel the feelings they had for each other - it was a beautiful moment as they then turned for the building and he took her hand in his and together he helped her up the stairs like two sould that belonged together or had possibly been together for a long time and had once again found each other.
Nancy and I sat there in silence knowing that everything was truly going to be okay. As they reached the top of the stairs, she turned and waved to us - and life goes on.
Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
Allie can be reached at:
Allie Cagen
University of NC Asheville
One University Place
Asheville, NC 28801
Founders Hall Room 203B
So our tale comes to an end, or so it seems for the moment but it is just so happy that I needed to let everyone know as this truly is going to be my last blog. I have been journaling the whole time just to have a complete record of her entire journey.
I was originally going to end my blogging days on the day that Allie went off to college and that occurred last week. It was a wonderful day as we dropped her off at the dorm and went inside to get her roo set up. There was something magical about the day - who ever would have thught that just eight short months to the day she would be attending her first class at University. Many, many days ago I would have been happy if she was walking at eight months so leaving her alone in a dorm room was far beyond my wildest dreams. Fourtunately her best friend lives just up one flight in the dorm and she has a beau, so her little life is a fairytale at the moment - away from mom and dad, living in a dorm at a great college and having your best friend and beau right there in the same building. Wow
Well I had to add this one last note: We went and saw Allie last Friday and took her and her gentlemen friend out to dinner. She looked great as she met us in the parking lot and had big hugs and smiles for mom and me. This was great!!! She was happy to see us! We went downtown Asheville and walked aroung for a while and then had a big sushi dinner. It was a snowy day and the weather was cold as we walked around and we were worried for her as she walked the campus going up and down stairs to get to the different buildings but you can't worry about everything, we have learned to let go of many things or at least not voice them out loud. But all of this is said for a reason and lends itself to show how well things are.
Allie is just so happy being Allie and she is so Okay with the accident and being who she is. It makes me cry inside to see her so back in her element - there are som issues but they are minor and nothing that isn't being worked out.
Now back to dinner and the nicest way to end this final entry. As we dropped Allie and Andy off at the dorm we hugged them both good night and as they turned to walk away we sat in the car and watched as they hugged each other. It was dark and the lights were on in the parking lot as they stood there silouetted against the buildings; we could feel the feelings they had for each other - it was a beautiful moment as they then turned for the building and he took her hand in his and together he helped her up the stairs like two sould that belonged together or had possibly been together for a long time and had once again found each other.
Nancy and I sat there in silence knowing that everything was truly going to be okay. As they reached the top of the stairs, she turned and waved to us - and life goes on.
Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
Allie can be reached at:
Allie Cagen
University of NC Asheville
One University Place
Asheville, NC 28801
Founders Hall Room 203B
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Wednesday Morning, January 3rd 2008
With a New Year upon us, we are back to work and school and life as normal. Hard to believe I can say life as normal considering 2007 but this is now our normal life. It's different but it is better in most every way. Funny ow when we set goals we sit back and evaluate where we were, where we are and where we want to go. This time we sat down and figured out where we are and where we want to go because for me there was no before May 14th. On that date we were reborn to a new world and our lives had just begun the journey they were supposed to be on at this time. Will they change again?? If they do we will embrace the change as we do now.
How can we give thanks to everyone who has carried us and loved and prayed for us and supported us on our journey and cared for us and cried with us. How can so many people be so kind. No matter what the shape of the world may appear to be, when there is human struggling, the universe calls it's angels together to surround and support those who need it. Your kindness has overwhelmed us.
From the many people who knitted blankets to those who sent baskets and flowers to those who read and answered the blog to those who visited and to those who prayed for us. THANK YOU
Nancy and I look forward to 2008 as a year of healing, a year of growing and a year of recomitting ourselves to each other and to those who need us.
Allie is doing really well.
So the new year beging with excitement and joy. We have so much to be thankful for.
Stay tuned.
Allie's Dad
How can we give thanks to everyone who has carried us and loved and prayed for us and supported us on our journey and cared for us and cried with us. How can so many people be so kind. No matter what the shape of the world may appear to be, when there is human struggling, the universe calls it's angels together to surround and support those who need it. Your kindness has overwhelmed us.
From the many people who knitted blankets to those who sent baskets and flowers to those who read and answered the blog to those who visited and to those who prayed for us. THANK YOU
Nancy and I look forward to 2008 as a year of healing, a year of growing and a year of recomitting ourselves to each other and to those who need us.
Allie is doing really well.
So the new year beging with excitement and joy. We have so much to be thankful for.
Stay tuned.
Allie's Dad
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