HI Everyone
Wow. Mistake in the first word and I am still not going to go back and correct it. I really don;t know where I left off because I still have not gone back to read the blog but something told me to write again. You Know, the longer you get away from the accident the more you seem to forgetbut the more you seem to remind yourself because you do not want to forget. You want to remeber or at least I want to remember all of the pain because from the pain comes the good. It's almost as if you have to hurt or have pain to see the goodness. Sound kind of morbid or morose but I assure you it is not because by remembering I am able to look at my whole family with the new eyes I was given a year ago. It makes me appreciate them more. It reminds me of the old story of the yound childwho asked his parents if he could go in and be alone with thier new infant. The parents were a little leery but agreed after they turned on the baby moniter. As the youngster eneterd the room they sat and listened intently as the child walked up to the infants cribs and began talking to him, to thier amazwement the child started talking to the infant and then asked him in an urgent child's voice he said to the infant, please tell me about God, I'm starting to forget. That is how it is with me. If I do not constantly remind myslef, I start to forget. So here I am - remembering.
Really, all is well. Together as a family we have never been better. There is no anger or fighting it is calm and not the calm before the storm because the storm has passed. It's been over a year and I feel as if we are all starting to get our lives back. I have thought this before but this time I know it. Full Recover, never shaken, never a doubt.
I think God put the spirit in me to write today because of an upcoming recital Allie will be singin in tomorrow evening, You know that over the past six or seven months I ahve been taking Allie to her voice lessons which was thrilling enough that she was even able to sing and I thought it would be years before she regained her form but Wednesday evening at the pre-reciatl rehersal I listened to her sing and I was floored. Her first song I Have Confidence was apprapoe and she sand it well. I was so happy and inside of myself I was blown away as I though quietly - She is READY. At that moment there was not a doubt in my soul that she was ready for the stage - right then and there I knew she without a doubt was Ready. Then she sand her second song and it was so true and so meaningful in the words that I knew God gave that song to her instructor to sing. When you walk through a song, keep your head up high. (Did she not walk through astorm and she has held her heal so high) and don't be afraid of the dark (she never has been) at the end of the storm is a golden sky (her middle name is Syke) and as she emerges into Full Recovery she certainly is a Golden Skye and the sweet silver song of a lark (her angles?) walk on through the rain, walk on through the storm though your dreams be tossed and turned (and they were). Holy crap, here she was on stage a Golden Skye - she walked through the storm and continues to do so. Phew, by remembering I am able to see all of the waking dreams that I do not see when I am to bust "in life".
On the ride home from the rehersal, I told Allie how wonderful she sang and let her know that I thought she was ready. I could tell how proud she was. Then I asked her if there were any tryouts for plays coming up and she told me everything was booked for the summer. Bummer but who knows everything works out. Then about an hour ago she came to me and asked for a ride downtown. When I asked why she told me there was a tryout for Radio Girls, a musical comedy, just her thing. Well I was dirty from working in the yard so Nancy scopped her up and drove her downtown. Tryouts are today and tomorrow so we won;t know for a few days but as soon as I find out, so will you.
I really have missed writing and thanking you all for your continued love and support. Take it slow today and look for the angels and God signals in your life.
Love you all - Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Wednesday, May 14th 2008
Where does one begin. It has been one year to the day that Allie had her accident; one that changed her life, our lives and the lives of countless people around the world. As I write it is 365 days ago to this moment that she was being rescued by some very special people and Nancy and I knew nothing of what was going on. We were unaware that at that very moment as we sat watching TV she was fighting for her life . Call it a mother intuition but Nancy was uneasy all night which was not like her; she did not eat dinner that night and kept saying she had an uneasy feeling - at 10:00pm we found out what that feeling was - it seems so long ago but the uneasyness remains not in the same way but in ways that we live with everyday. It's getting better.
Today was a very happy day for me. It was kind of a birthday I thought. I did not share this feeling but I thought of today as Allie's real birthday and someday I may ask her if she would like to celebrate her Birthday on May 14 vs. her real birthday. I thought of the differences. On February 6th God brought her into this world but on May 14th he gave her another opportunity - a rebirth, a new chance at life. She was blessed and so were we.
Who knows why things happen the way they do or why they happen to certain people (I never thought it would happen to me) but I can and will safely say that it was only our faith in God and his plan that we (Allie included) survived and as Nancy says, "we survived intact." We can out of this whole.
I remember the days before the accident and I would take today hands down. Today we are more loving, more compassionate, more honest, and more patient. We enjoy each others company and that's good because we are together alot. We are all at peace - with the accident and with our lives in general. We are all OK with where we are today and we look forward to a bright bright future.
Allie is great. Everyday she gets better and better. The are still moments of minor concern but we have all learned how to deal with them and accept them as a part of healing. Brain injuries take a long, long time we are told but again that is thier perception, one which we refuse to accept as we have refused to accept the medical standard on every aspect of her journey. That has helped! Why accept what others say is normal? Why accept limitations? We can't do it and we always refused to do so.
Allie is out tonight at a friends house, something that astounds us. Sometimes you don't want to say anthing about her healing because you don't want to jinx it but then that wouldn't be having 100% faith but maybe sometimes I'm only 99%. Sometimes I worry when she goes out but that's just normal. I don;t worry about her health wise, it's more of a parental thing, you don't want anybody to be mean to her or take advantage of her. That is my biggest fear/worry, that someone may hurt her. I know it is unfounded but......
Tomorrow we will register her for one class at our local community college. Asheville was to soon but now may be the time to try again. I go into this as I do with everything, no expecting anything and completely unattached to the outcome. She will do great. Really it is incredible to see how far she has come. She is so nice all of the time, she loves to laugh again and she wants to get on with her life. She is ameniable to every form of therapy we come up with and she will soon be driving in a few weeks barring any ............. I have let her drive me around and she is a good drive, always was, so that's a lesson right there.
Once of the things I really wanted to do tonight was to say Happy Birthday to Allie and to share a little bit about where we are now but really I wanted to say thank you a million times over to all of the people who loved us and prayed for us and helped us in our time of need. Thank you to God, and Beth and Kent who found her and to Marty who stayed with her and for two and half hours keeping her alive until she got cut out of the car. Holy crap Marty - Thank You, Thank You, Thank You a million times Thank you to the paramedics and the helocopter pilots, Thank you to the ER personnel and to Dr. Stephen Gardner my hero and a brilliant neurosurgeon, your skills are one of the reasons Allie is out tonight enjoying herself and when I tried to thank you you were so humble thank you and thank you to everyone at Greenville Memorial, The Ronald McDonald House a truly sacred place Thank you to everyone at the Roger C. peace Center (yes we love Mark Clark) and the entire staff of therapists. Thank you to Lowery, a reverend who addopted us and visited us in the hospital many times he is also Beth's husband, Thank You and Thank God for Tommy Owen another ministed who single handidly help me stay sane and whose faith gave me faith. Thank you to all of our friends, and supporters, (to many to list but you know who you are), Thanks you to all of the FLYBabies who loved us and supported us. Thank you to the two Marlas - one was the first person to the hospital and one showered Allie with love and gifts and prayers. Her genorosity to total strangers we had never experienced and may never again. She practiced more than a random act of kindness and her picture is on my refrigerator. If I could build a shrine to all of you, I would. I know I am missing people but I am getting emotional, it's late and really I am just typing and trying not to think to hard. I never want to lose the emotions of those days but I am stsrting to relive them and my heart is beginning to hurt so let's move on. My heart does not hurt foe me or Allie or my family but it hurts for the many friends we have made, it hurts because I can feel their emotions as they fight thier own struggles. I pray for all of them. We have been blessed.
I have really worked at being honest and open about my feelings and about what has transpired over the last year. The blog has been cathardic for me. It has eased my heart and helped me deal with everything. I am glad I had it.
Well, if an.yone is still out there - thank you for checking it
Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
Today was a very happy day for me. It was kind of a birthday I thought. I did not share this feeling but I thought of today as Allie's real birthday and someday I may ask her if she would like to celebrate her Birthday on May 14 vs. her real birthday. I thought of the differences. On February 6th God brought her into this world but on May 14th he gave her another opportunity - a rebirth, a new chance at life. She was blessed and so were we.
Who knows why things happen the way they do or why they happen to certain people (I never thought it would happen to me) but I can and will safely say that it was only our faith in God and his plan that we (Allie included) survived and as Nancy says, "we survived intact." We can out of this whole.
I remember the days before the accident and I would take today hands down. Today we are more loving, more compassionate, more honest, and more patient. We enjoy each others company and that's good because we are together alot. We are all at peace - with the accident and with our lives in general. We are all OK with where we are today and we look forward to a bright bright future.
Allie is great. Everyday she gets better and better. The are still moments of minor concern but we have all learned how to deal with them and accept them as a part of healing. Brain injuries take a long, long time we are told but again that is thier perception, one which we refuse to accept as we have refused to accept the medical standard on every aspect of her journey. That has helped! Why accept what others say is normal? Why accept limitations? We can't do it and we always refused to do so.
Allie is out tonight at a friends house, something that astounds us. Sometimes you don't want to say anthing about her healing because you don't want to jinx it but then that wouldn't be having 100% faith but maybe sometimes I'm only 99%. Sometimes I worry when she goes out but that's just normal. I don;t worry about her health wise, it's more of a parental thing, you don't want anybody to be mean to her or take advantage of her. That is my biggest fear/worry, that someone may hurt her. I know it is unfounded but......
Tomorrow we will register her for one class at our local community college. Asheville was to soon but now may be the time to try again. I go into this as I do with everything, no expecting anything and completely unattached to the outcome. She will do great. Really it is incredible to see how far she has come. She is so nice all of the time, she loves to laugh again and she wants to get on with her life. She is ameniable to every form of therapy we come up with and she will soon be driving in a few weeks barring any ............. I have let her drive me around and she is a good drive, always was, so that's a lesson right there.
Once of the things I really wanted to do tonight was to say Happy Birthday to Allie and to share a little bit about where we are now but really I wanted to say thank you a million times over to all of the people who loved us and prayed for us and helped us in our time of need. Thank you to God, and Beth and Kent who found her and to Marty who stayed with her and for two and half hours keeping her alive until she got cut out of the car. Holy crap Marty - Thank You, Thank You, Thank You a million times Thank you to the paramedics and the helocopter pilots, Thank you to the ER personnel and to Dr. Stephen Gardner my hero and a brilliant neurosurgeon, your skills are one of the reasons Allie is out tonight enjoying herself and when I tried to thank you you were so humble thank you and thank you to everyone at Greenville Memorial, The Ronald McDonald House a truly sacred place Thank you to everyone at the Roger C. peace Center (yes we love Mark Clark) and the entire staff of therapists. Thank you to Lowery, a reverend who addopted us and visited us in the hospital many times he is also Beth's husband, Thank You and Thank God for Tommy Owen another ministed who single handidly help me stay sane and whose faith gave me faith. Thank you to all of our friends, and supporters, (to many to list but you know who you are), Thanks you to all of the FLYBabies who loved us and supported us. Thank you to the two Marlas - one was the first person to the hospital and one showered Allie with love and gifts and prayers. Her genorosity to total strangers we had never experienced and may never again. She practiced more than a random act of kindness and her picture is on my refrigerator. If I could build a shrine to all of you, I would. I know I am missing people but I am getting emotional, it's late and really I am just typing and trying not to think to hard. I never want to lose the emotions of those days but I am stsrting to relive them and my heart is beginning to hurt so let's move on. My heart does not hurt foe me or Allie or my family but it hurts for the many friends we have made, it hurts because I can feel their emotions as they fight thier own struggles. I pray for all of them. We have been blessed.
I have really worked at being honest and open about my feelings and about what has transpired over the last year. The blog has been cathardic for me. It has eased my heart and helped me deal with everything. I am glad I had it.
Well, if an.yone is still out there - thank you for checking it
Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
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