November 14th, 2008

Well today really will be my last blog. It is a year and a half today and the lord had been good to us. It has been a road. Good? Bad? depends on who you are and if you have every experienced anything like this. Your experiences and the way you interpret them will determine how you view them. My experience has been that this was a blessing - maybe in disguise but a blessing none the less.

Really I am to tired at this time to go any further. It's been a long road and I could go further, however to do so would be to prolong viewing this situation as anything other than normal and Nancy, Matt, Allie and I all agree that from this moment on the world is normal. We have always avoided "labeling" where we were during this time. Cosmically the Universe always gives you what you seek and will always create the place the talk about so by thinking and acting like we would achieve full recovery was not only a coping mechanisim but is also something I believe in - Universal Laws - God's Order, however it makes sense to you.

When faced with a devestating situation you have to develop survival skills; not onlt for your loved ones but for your family, friends, business and others you meet and grieve with along the way. Most people are kind and loving - they understand the situation and react appropriately some are still kind and loving but do not know how to act so they do the best they can and avoid and some are just plain buttholes. Along the way no one created more misery for me and my family than my sister Lauren. People reap what they sew. You know I am really sorry to put this in. I have alway tried to be two things: positive and honest so I had to let people know that even during your darkest hour; when you didn't know it could get any worse, evil shows up. We defeated it - enough said. With God's help, we will always turn back evil.

Right now I am by myself at the beach taking a few days away. This is the first time perhaps in twenty something years I have been alone but it was a necessary trip and I was encouraged to go and get some rest and take some time to reflect. The past 18 months have caught up with me and I realize it is now time to let go and stop being the big strong guy, that would be unfair as there have been so many strong people along the way, my beautiful wife and sole mate has been and continues to be my rock and inspiration, Matt you have always been there providing wisdom far beyond your years. I can not say I wish this did not happen because this is our families experience and it could have been no other way. I am only glad that we are so strong and so solid. Of course Allie has been the strongest of all of us as she continues to push herself in a positive direction, accepting what God has geven her and embracing the opportunity to continue her experience on this earth. It's quite amazing, but she is at peace and happier than she was before the accident. She does not moan or complain about the accident but accepts it as her experience and is moving on

Our little girl and she is all of ours continues to take leaps and bounds in her recovery. Some days hard, some not so hard and I think that the hardest thing for me is to stop being so protective - my biggest fears are that someone will hurt her or will damage the good we have all done however, I must back off now - to do otherwise would be to deny her her destiny. an not continue to thik I know what is best for her. How can live the life of an 18 year old girld through the eyes of a 50 year old man. Heck, at 18 I did not know what I wanted to do with my life and at 50 I still not sure I know but one thing is for sure and that is that I can only live a life of service.

Little Allie is going to school and taking two classes this semester and is registered for three new semester. She may still want to pursue her dream of Broadway but is also following a degree in Elementary Education. She loves kids and they love her. She will be able to make a life for herself and will someday have a loving husband and family of her own.

So what have I learned from this experience?

People have thier own experiences in life and whatever they may be, they are thier own - we can only be there to love and support them.

We must love unconditionally

When you don't think you can handle anymore - you can
When you don't think you are strong enough - you are
When you think God has abandoned you - he hasn't

There are plenty of good doctors and nurses - there are plenty of bad doctors and nurses

You are your loved ones best chances of surviving the hospital - don't ever leave them alone

Prayers work

Stay positive - even if you are sometimes maybe not so positive

Donate to the Ronald McDonald House

Help others - even in your time of need - that is the best time to give

Accept the love, prayers and charity of others with dignity and love

Ask for what you need - there is no pride or dignity in the hospitay, only the raw emotions and goodness of others

Make your wishes know to the doctors, nurses and staff at the hospital and stick to your guns. You are in charge - not them.

Use the internet at the hospital to research what they tell you. Don't believe it when they say it is procedure. Also look up the drugs they are giving - what they are for and what the side - effects may be.

Never check your spelling when you blog - I don't.

So where do we go from here? Where ever our experience takes us! We are just going to ride the wave we call life.

God Bless All of You
Full Recovery - Never a Doubt

Allie's Dad

Just to Clarify - At the moment Full Recovery is a Universal Reality. Soon it will be a physical reality. Mentally, emotionally and spiritually I have not been able to give it the energy it needs. My hands were full and it has been a draining journey. During my time at the beach I have reconnected with God and recomitted to service to God, my family and my community.

Hopefully Full Recovery has helped. I can only say from all of the e-mails I get that is has and it will continue on a larger scale now that we are focusing on healing ourselves so we can help heal others. So stay tuned.

Again, from the bottom of my heart - thank you.