Tuesday Morning, Mat 14th, 2010

Good Morning All

Today marks the three year anniversary of Allie's accident and hopefully this may be my last blog. It seems like only yesterday when we received the call from the hospital letting us know of Allie's accident and my body still tingles when I think of it. So where do I start?

Let me begin by thanking everyone for the love and support they have offered over the years and for the gifts and cards they continue to send to Allie during her journey. Your love and inspiration have carried us through the darkest of times and has shown us the power of prayer on its highest level. Your kindness and generosity has touched our hearts in places we did not even know they could be touched.

It has been an unbelievable journey and when they said in the hospital to save our energy, because brain injuries were marathons, they were not kidding. The fatigue of the Boston Marathon pales in comparison (not that I ever ran it but..)

This journey, with all of its ups and downs and fears and tears has been and always will be a blessing for all of us because for the first time in her life Allie is happy. Her dreams of Broadway may be gone but again a blessing because Allie has learned to accept herself for who she is and has said that if she knew the accident was going to happen, she would still have taken the same route that night because she has loves the person she has become. Wow.

On the anniversary of her accident Allie is fulfilling one of her dreams and that is to move into her own place downtown. She has lived on her own on and off for the last year and at times we have looked back during her recovery and wondered if what we were doing was right but in the end, I guess it was. All things for a reason.  We have had our issues and continue to overcome them and I am sure there will be more down the road but I now consider them teenage issues instead of brain injury issues.

A few days ago while Allie and I were out at breakfast, I asked her if she considered herself disabled in any way and she thought for a moment and answered that she did not. As we talked I told her that one of the reasons we fought some times and why I pushed her was because I never thought of her as disabled and I was not going to allow her to "play the disabled card" which could happen at times. Nancy and I have become much more philosophical over the years and realize that you can consider this a gift from God or we could have fallen into a victim consciousness and allowed it to ruin us. We choose to consider it a gift and a new journey.

At school, Allie is doing amazing as she just finished up two classes (intro to algebra and public speaking) and got a "B" in both classes. This is HUGE and we are all so proud of her. She drove herself to class everyday and with a little prompting she stayed organized and on track completing all of her assignments on her own. When I think back three years, which is becoming harder and harder to do, I am in awe of how far she has come. She is registered for a summer class and is currently looking for part-time work.

Today Allie dreams of sharing her love for children by becoming a special ed. elementary school teacher. She still sings at times and continues to make me watch America's Next Top Model with her and I love every minute of it.

It is so weird. As Allie continues to grow, she of course becomes more independent and less needy. I find that I miss the days when we would just get in the car to drive and we would spend hours just talking and driving but for as much as I miss our time together, I am just so proud of the way she continues to face life head on with enthusiasm and courage.It is interesting to see how the student has become the teacher because she has taught me so much more than I have taught her.

Although we have gone through the worst of it and God has seen fit to bless us with the return of our daughter and Full Recover is a reality, there are the everyday reminders which follow us day to day as we continue the process; probably the worst being that every time a phone rings, no matter where we are, our hearts stop and we hold our breath - could it be that call again and when we answer the phone and hear Allie's voice on the other end you do not breathe until you hear that everything is okay. It will probably always be this way although hopefully, in time, it will lessen and if that is the worst, well, we can deal with that.

Nancy and I were sitting on the deck the other day talking about how life as we know it right now is the calmest it has ever been and then the phone rand, it was Beth Drennan the minister who was the first one on the scene of Allie's accident checking in to see how Allie was doing. It had been a long time since we spoke and it was so good to hear her voice and to be able to give a good report.

For those still still suffering I can only offer the following:

Question everything
Try everything
Never give up hope
Never stop trying new things
Stay as holistic as possible
Always remember that you are in charge
Ask God for gentle healing
Accept and embrace your new life

Full Recovery is an attitude, a life style and a possibility.
God bless you all.
Allie's Dad