Monday Morning, June 18th

Good Morning Sorry there was no update last night. I wrote a beautiful message and poured my heart out only to have it delete itself when it was sent last night. I will try to recap it for you: Father's day and what better gift than to have your child alive and fully recovering. Granted it will take awhile but as she lies in her bed not moving or saying a word you can just spend time looking at her and allow your thought to float back over her life and remember the different segments, like the time she sat on your lap and fell asleep or would played soccer or sand for the first time on stage. Holdiays have never been about gifts but about family and spending time together and we did that. This surgery is a lot different than the original as she slepth throughout the recovery period last time and this time she is awake and confused and in pain and wware that soemthing is wrong. Her cognitive thought is aware that she is not at home and that her body, speech and thinking is not what it used to be and she is scared. She speaks, sometimes clear and sometimes jibber jabber but who cares, everyday she contimues to grow and get stronger and it is only through her strong will, your prayers and the love of God who stregnthens her that she makes forward progress. She was so tired yesterday yet would not fall asleep. This time is more trying, yet you know full recovery is the outcome and the goal. There are times during the day when the reality hits and the reality of the situation hits and you know that if you let your guard down (your superhero powers) that any number of things could occur, mostly you could get your feelings hurt or you could get very emotionsal but you don't. You just let her know how much you love her and let her know that you will protect her - then you stroke her face and things seem to get better. One thing we are not lacking during this time is gratitude. We are grateful for everything that has occurred and for the way it is turnig out. We are grateful that she is alive and recovering - things could have been worse as we experiece worse everyday. Even if her insurance does not pay, we are grateful that we live in a country where we can make the money to cover it (eventually) and we are gratful that we can be there for her. We are grateful for the healing and the learning and the love and blessings that we recieve and we are grateful for the doctors and nurses who take care of her. We are grateful that we are a strong family and that we have such great friends both old and new and we are grateful for all of the healing Allie is providing to herself and to the world and in particular - to me. Gratitude is an amazing thing as Nancy says the more you are grateful for the things you have - the more things you will have to be grateful for. Who is a parent more likely to bless and reward, a grateful child or an ungrateful one. Thank you father for we are grateful. This was the jist of last nights message, strength, brotherhood, and gratitude. I'm sorry that my original message didn;t get through as it was much more eloquent and I can only guess that that message was for me alone. That thought keeps me from throwing the computer out of the window! Love and peace Allie's Dad