A time of reflection a day of grateful hearts. yesterday morning Allie and I attended the funeral of her young friend Jessie Garren, a beautiful girl, a compassionate soul a soldier for God. Jessie at the young age of 17 went home to be one of God's angels, to sing in the choir of heavenly singers. A beautiful spirit, Jessie had a rare form of cancer, less than 100 cases in the United States.
As an alumni of the Brevard High School Concert Chorus, Allie was invited to sing at the funeral. Allie and Jessie had a special kinship, a soul connection that went deeper than a friendship, they were, in my heart and the hearts of many, the hero girls of Brevard. The brave little girls who were fighting thier injuries and were for all apparent visions, winning, and in some light, they both have. Jessie has been called home to be with her heavenly father, her small frame now cloaked in the fathers light, the pain removed and her new mission broadened. Allie is winning also, she is growing in the light every day, her mental and physical capacities returning to what once was. She continues to expanded her goodness, her being and the essence of her being is so much more Godly - she says Jessie brought her more to the Lord - children helping children.
As we approached the church, Allie was full of apprehension and so was I. She was worried about how she would handle the sight of her friend in an open casket and I also worried about how the stress or surge of emotions would affect her emotional state. Highly emotional events can trigger siezures and this would be a test.
Allie went on aheah of me leaving me to go in by myself. The music was playing and there were pictures celebrating Jessie's life playing on two overhead screens. I cry now as I type, reliving my thoughts of how we, escaped this very event; for I know that God spared us from attending Allie's funeral - but at one time, we were right there. We had released her to heaven and were prepared for her departure.
There is no right or wrong, there is no blame or wondering, There is no asking why me or why Jessie. God has a plan. When a seventeen year old or a five year old or a ninety year old person is called home we can only believe in the big plan and thank God for the time we had together.
A few people in the audience of over 600 commented to me on how good Allie looked and I started to weep. A pictue of Allie and Jessie came up on the overhead and my heart smiled. One child is here today and one is home with our father - it makes you realize you own mortality. Life is fleeting and life is a gift.
As the chorus came on to the stage I saw Allie walk out and it was one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen. Long black skirt and white blouse, she had a presence around her. It was as beautiful as it was emotional for me. I was watching her come back to life as she sang for one that was departing. An angel on earth singing and leading the way for an angel to return to heaven.
Two thirds of the way through the service Allie left the stage and came to find me. It was time to leave. When I first saw her walking towards me I was struck with fear but innately I knew she was OK. She knew she had had enough and had blessed Jessie and her family and any more would have been damaging to her. I applauded her insight.
I thank Jessie for her courage, her goodness and her loving spirit. I thank her for showing me what a selfless person looks like for in her times of trouble she was always there for Allie and others. If you will remember from one of my initial blogs, while Allie was still in a state where she was not speaking or walking, basically a coma with her eyes open Jessie took the time to purchase her a build a bear, recorded a message of encouragement in it and mailed it to Allie. When I opened it, read the letter and listened to the message I sobbed like a baby. It was one of the biggest acts of kindness and selflessness I had ever experienced. At the time Jessie was undergoing cancer treatment in NYC but she took the time to think of Allie. I thank her parents Marilyn and Kit for sharing thier life with us and for showing us the depth of love and faith that is possible. Thier life should be an inspirational book and I am sure that one day it will be.
Today Jessie is free and I am sure her next assignment will be that of an angel. Today we are all free. Free to choose our path, free to become better people, free to improve our relationships with God, our families and our world. Today our family is better and continues to grow.
I once was lost but now I'm found - was blind but now I see.
Love and Hope - Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Saturday Morning, August 23rd
Again I say, what a difference a day makes, especially with a child who has had a trauma. I do not use words like brain damage because the dictionary defines damage as "injury or harm that reduces value or usefulness" or brain injury because because I do not like what they infer. I am not going to place any limitations on the amount of healing that can occur not am I going to put into my child's mind or my own mind that her most vital organ is damaged or is reduced in usefulness. Instead, I might say she has suffered a temporary traumatic event. Don;t know where that came from but I do not like labels unless they are positve, useful ones.
Back to what a difference a day makes. Last Friday Allie was in the ER with hallicunations and and all kinds of wierd stuff. Then yesterday she attended a local community college. 2 classes, public speaking and theatre appreciation. I waited outside in the parking lot for her and met her between classes. She seemed OK after the first one, so she went to the second. It is so bizzare as Tuesday was the deadline to register and we just acted as if and went through with it. What was the worst that would happen. I mean she was still in the hospital on Tuesday, recoveing from who knows what and no one still knows but how was she ever think she was going to be able to attend class in three days? Was it panic? Was it anxiety? Was it ?????????? Who the heck knows. We just keep searching and hoping and praying and leading by example.
I spoke to my friend Joe Cook yesterday. Many of you have been praying for his daughter Paige and I am going to ask that you continue to do so and if you have a little extra in you, maybe you can pray just a little harder and lets not forget our little friend Rachel. Cars ugh. Three weeks ago I layed my motorcycle down on some wet pavement and went for a long slide. I am OK but please, if you ride and do not wear a helmet, put one on or go visit the neuro ICU. Nuff preaching but my helmet is always on. I can take some scrapes or maybe a broken boke but not a head injury.
To all of my friends who still check in every now and again. Thank you. We love and appreciate you. This is a journey of a thousand steps.
Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
Oh by the way, Allie got a tattoo on her left side chest area last thursday. Whatever? It is a little red heart with a treble cleft and a musical note in it. Yes I took her. It is better I am there then to just have her come home with it. She loves it. I think it is a freedom thing or right of passage. You go girl. Be back again soon to let you know how school is going.
Back to what a difference a day makes. Last Friday Allie was in the ER with hallicunations and and all kinds of wierd stuff. Then yesterday she attended a local community college. 2 classes, public speaking and theatre appreciation. I waited outside in the parking lot for her and met her between classes. She seemed OK after the first one, so she went to the second. It is so bizzare as Tuesday was the deadline to register and we just acted as if and went through with it. What was the worst that would happen. I mean she was still in the hospital on Tuesday, recoveing from who knows what and no one still knows but how was she ever think she was going to be able to attend class in three days? Was it panic? Was it anxiety? Was it ?????????? Who the heck knows. We just keep searching and hoping and praying and leading by example.
I spoke to my friend Joe Cook yesterday. Many of you have been praying for his daughter Paige and I am going to ask that you continue to do so and if you have a little extra in you, maybe you can pray just a little harder and lets not forget our little friend Rachel. Cars ugh. Three weeks ago I layed my motorcycle down on some wet pavement and went for a long slide. I am OK but please, if you ride and do not wear a helmet, put one on or go visit the neuro ICU. Nuff preaching but my helmet is always on. I can take some scrapes or maybe a broken boke but not a head injury.
To all of my friends who still check in every now and again. Thank you. We love and appreciate you. This is a journey of a thousand steps.
Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
Oh by the way, Allie got a tattoo on her left side chest area last thursday. Whatever? It is a little red heart with a treble cleft and a musical note in it. Yes I took her. It is better I am there then to just have her come home with it. She loves it. I think it is a freedom thing or right of passage. You go girl. Be back again soon to let you know how school is going.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Wednesday Evening, August 20th?
As we got home from the hospital last night Allie put on a Tim McGraw song and came to dance with me. I think I fully understand that God wants me to live she said to me and once again I had found my joy but, just two weeks earlier that wasn't the case. I don;t know what happened as thinks were going so well but something did and once again there was fighting, and a lot of discord, to the point that Allie decided that she was moving out - no money, no phone, no car taking only what was hers and leaving a wake of distruction in her path. No reasons, but her own, I guess I know them but will leave them to her. There went all of my dreams and work and effort leaving only with a small bad making the two mile walk in the dark to the main gate of our community. I died that night and the only way I could express my hurt was with harsh words. We cried all night. She was back the next day but I could not forgive and forget, it would take time.
Flash forward to last Friday. As Nancy and I were approaching Beaufort, SC on our 21st wedding anniversary weekend a 4 1/2 hour drive from home we got the call from Allie. She was hurting and didn;t sound good. We got our neightbor over and called our good friend Sabrina to go over. A few minutes later the calls were flying in. We thought at first it was a panic attack or an anxiety induced situation until we hears the screaming and incoherant babble. She could not see and could not move, she was using profanity and it was getting worse quick. Once I heard that she had one pupil large and one small I hung up and called the ambulance. This indicates possible brain swelling. We immediately turned around for a five hour drive home. We didn't know what to expect as we drove, mostly in silence. Would she be OK, would we be OK, we had spoken during the year and wondered if we would have the stregnth to do it again, well we were about to find out.
The ambulance ride was a nightmare but we heard she was calm the whole time but could not turn her head, it was antalgic to the right and she could not see. Was she blind? Oh shit, what now? We had thought we were out of the woods but now wonder if we will ever be. Once at the hospital is when they say she had a seizure in the ambulance. Uhhhh
As we drove we heard that they suspected viral menengitis but that didn't sound right. The did a CAT scan and a lumbar puncture after we got there. The poor baby was so sedated and confused. She didn;t know for days how she got to the hospital or even what happened. They let her come home that night saying there was no organic problems. No virus and no acute brain trauma. Sounded very promising but we were not letting our guard down. Not much sleep that night. Allie was not seeing well and could not find the bathroom in her own room. What the heck - is she blind, was her brain damaged, we were crushed but you don't react, you just help and stay calm on the outside but holy crap, we had no idea.
The next morning I called the neurologist because she was hallucinationg like crazy and was scaring the hell out of us - and by the afternoon she was in room A622 at Mission Hospital in Asheville and I was sleeping on the floor of the hospital once again, confused and unknowing. The hallucinations went on all day and all night and it was quite frightening. The neurologist came by and put her on some medications and then her neurologist came by in the morning. They didn;t seem to concerned but I was. She had not slept or eaten for days and I know that was a huge part of it but for some reason she could not or would not sleep. With a brain injury, sleep is the most important thing you can get in a day. They did an EEG and they could not confirm that she had a seizure so what was it. Basically the little girl had a brain injury which is an unpredictable thing.
Each day she started to get better but was still wobbly and on Tuesday, I told them it was time to go home - no answers and nothing they could do there that we couldn't do at home. Once at home she slept for nine hours last night and hopefully she will get good sleep tonighht and will once and for all understand the importance of being on a schedule. I think it has sunk in.
I really think it is God talking to her and I think she may believe it also. She was going the wrong direction in the beginning and he stopped her and then she started going the wrong way again and he stopped her again. Perhaps it's time to go a different way?
Allie just came into my office and gave me a poem she had written - here it is!
The clutter crowding everything
my room, my sould, my heart, my brain
I don;t want to have regrets
So I carefully look at all my pieces
Keeping all that teaches
Losing all that harms
In time I won't only rely on charm
Life is so important
I can;t waste it
I have to do everything and anything
seeking all that life can bring
Time is fading
There is no time for hating
Always forgive
and remember to Live and let Live
Holding hatred in your heart
can only bring you back to start
You know that's not where you belong
Just ignore it you can go on
You can do it! Just prove yourself
to those who are jealous to those who doubt
I think she is headed for Full Recovery - How about you?
Love and Recovery
Allie's Dad
Flash forward to last Friday. As Nancy and I were approaching Beaufort, SC on our 21st wedding anniversary weekend a 4 1/2 hour drive from home we got the call from Allie. She was hurting and didn;t sound good. We got our neightbor over and called our good friend Sabrina to go over. A few minutes later the calls were flying in. We thought at first it was a panic attack or an anxiety induced situation until we hears the screaming and incoherant babble. She could not see and could not move, she was using profanity and it was getting worse quick. Once I heard that she had one pupil large and one small I hung up and called the ambulance. This indicates possible brain swelling. We immediately turned around for a five hour drive home. We didn't know what to expect as we drove, mostly in silence. Would she be OK, would we be OK, we had spoken during the year and wondered if we would have the stregnth to do it again, well we were about to find out.
The ambulance ride was a nightmare but we heard she was calm the whole time but could not turn her head, it was antalgic to the right and she could not see. Was she blind? Oh shit, what now? We had thought we were out of the woods but now wonder if we will ever be. Once at the hospital is when they say she had a seizure in the ambulance. Uhhhh
As we drove we heard that they suspected viral menengitis but that didn't sound right. The did a CAT scan and a lumbar puncture after we got there. The poor baby was so sedated and confused. She didn;t know for days how she got to the hospital or even what happened. They let her come home that night saying there was no organic problems. No virus and no acute brain trauma. Sounded very promising but we were not letting our guard down. Not much sleep that night. Allie was not seeing well and could not find the bathroom in her own room. What the heck - is she blind, was her brain damaged, we were crushed but you don't react, you just help and stay calm on the outside but holy crap, we had no idea.
The next morning I called the neurologist because she was hallucinationg like crazy and was scaring the hell out of us - and by the afternoon she was in room A622 at Mission Hospital in Asheville and I was sleeping on the floor of the hospital once again, confused and unknowing. The hallucinations went on all day and all night and it was quite frightening. The neurologist came by and put her on some medications and then her neurologist came by in the morning. They didn;t seem to concerned but I was. She had not slept or eaten for days and I know that was a huge part of it but for some reason she could not or would not sleep. With a brain injury, sleep is the most important thing you can get in a day. They did an EEG and they could not confirm that she had a seizure so what was it. Basically the little girl had a brain injury which is an unpredictable thing.
Each day she started to get better but was still wobbly and on Tuesday, I told them it was time to go home - no answers and nothing they could do there that we couldn't do at home. Once at home she slept for nine hours last night and hopefully she will get good sleep tonighht and will once and for all understand the importance of being on a schedule. I think it has sunk in.
I really think it is God talking to her and I think she may believe it also. She was going the wrong direction in the beginning and he stopped her and then she started going the wrong way again and he stopped her again. Perhaps it's time to go a different way?
Allie just came into my office and gave me a poem she had written - here it is!
The clutter crowding everything
my room, my sould, my heart, my brain
I don;t want to have regrets
So I carefully look at all my pieces
Keeping all that teaches
Losing all that harms
In time I won't only rely on charm
Life is so important
I can;t waste it
I have to do everything and anything
seeking all that life can bring
Time is fading
There is no time for hating
Always forgive
and remember to Live and let Live
Holding hatred in your heart
can only bring you back to start
You know that's not where you belong
Just ignore it you can go on
You can do it! Just prove yourself
to those who are jealous to those who doubt
I think she is headed for Full Recovery - How about you?
Love and Recovery
Allie's Dad
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Thursday Evening, July 25th
Well it sure has been a long time and quite a bit has been happening. In light of a few minor personality clashes and my heart breaking (because she does not need me the way she used to) I would say that God has been very very good to us.
What more can I say except that right now Allie is out with a friend and amazingly as it may sound, she drove herself downtown and will drive herself home. I think back to the days when she way lying in a coma with her head bandaged and now she is driving. She had her final check up with the neurologist the other day and her was very pleased and cleared her to drive. It's all happening so fast but it could not have come at a better time as she was getting extremely bored. We live out in the woods, town is an 18 minute drive and the mall is an hour so she was getting frustrated. I really felt bad for her after a while. Here we have an 18 year old girl that had absolutely no control over her life or over her actions right at the time when she needed to spread her wings. I thank God for the second chance she has recieved. Scared *<^%, you bet but whatever is going to happen is going to happen and there is nothing I nor anyone else can do about it unless we put her in a bubble.
It is so odd but Nancy and I are getting some time together again and it is great. we go out for drives at night with the convertable top down through the countryside and we are at peace. We count our blessings and talk. The amazing part is that we are not worried about being away from her, we do not live every moment in fear that soemthing is going to happen while we are out or that she is going to have a huge blow out with her brother. I thank God because I know not like I always have that she is going to be able to make a life for herself. She is going to recover fully and she is going to be able to go to school if she wants but she will be able to get a job, whatever it may be, she will be able to support herself and she will life a good life. Totally blessed.
At Allie's urging we went back toi the hospital on Tuesday to visit the nurses who loved her so much and it is always wonderful for them to see her. They all gather around so proud and so happy that she is doing so well. She is truly one of thier success stories. We did not get to see Dr. Gardner - my main man - in my eyes the man who brought her back to us with his loving skill. The man is a true vehicle. It is alway nice to go back and not have to stay. I met with one of the hospital administrators while I was there are we are working on getting a Full Recovery Support group started in the hospital. It is so needed. Being away for awhile you can lose touch and that is not something that I ever want to do and I never will.
So mauch happens when a trauma occurs, not only to the person but to the family and it takes so long to recover for everyone.
To my friends and loved ones and those still suffering I wish you a speedy recovery.
From all of us, we love you - keep the faith - God's delay is not God's denial!!
Full recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
What more can I say except that right now Allie is out with a friend and amazingly as it may sound, she drove herself downtown and will drive herself home. I think back to the days when she way lying in a coma with her head bandaged and now she is driving. She had her final check up with the neurologist the other day and her was very pleased and cleared her to drive. It's all happening so fast but it could not have come at a better time as she was getting extremely bored. We live out in the woods, town is an 18 minute drive and the mall is an hour so she was getting frustrated. I really felt bad for her after a while. Here we have an 18 year old girl that had absolutely no control over her life or over her actions right at the time when she needed to spread her wings. I thank God for the second chance she has recieved. Scared *<^%, you bet but whatever is going to happen is going to happen and there is nothing I nor anyone else can do about it unless we put her in a bubble.
It is so odd but Nancy and I are getting some time together again and it is great. we go out for drives at night with the convertable top down through the countryside and we are at peace. We count our blessings and talk. The amazing part is that we are not worried about being away from her, we do not live every moment in fear that soemthing is going to happen while we are out or that she is going to have a huge blow out with her brother. I thank God because I know not like I always have that she is going to be able to make a life for herself. She is going to recover fully and she is going to be able to go to school if she wants but she will be able to get a job, whatever it may be, she will be able to support herself and she will life a good life. Totally blessed.
At Allie's urging we went back toi the hospital on Tuesday to visit the nurses who loved her so much and it is always wonderful for them to see her. They all gather around so proud and so happy that she is doing so well. She is truly one of thier success stories. We did not get to see Dr. Gardner - my main man - in my eyes the man who brought her back to us with his loving skill. The man is a true vehicle. It is alway nice to go back and not have to stay. I met with one of the hospital administrators while I was there are we are working on getting a Full Recovery Support group started in the hospital. It is so needed. Being away for awhile you can lose touch and that is not something that I ever want to do and I never will.
So mauch happens when a trauma occurs, not only to the person but to the family and it takes so long to recover for everyone.
To my friends and loved ones and those still suffering I wish you a speedy recovery.
From all of us, we love you - keep the faith - God's delay is not God's denial!!
Full recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Wednesday Morning, June 25, 2008
Hi Everyone
Been a little. Here is the scoop. Allie is doing well and certainly growing as a person in all ways. She is certainly growing to a new level and we think it is because she is finally off of all her medications. She is much more "alive" now and in a couple of weeks when her system is totally cleaned out she will probably reach all new levels. She is now initiating and being active and doing workbooks and puzzles, all things she was not doing before. Now when she is sitting watching television she picks up her blue jeans and does cross stitch o them. She has been going to the pool and as of Monday we have let her drive the car to the pool by herself. When her system is cleaned out and she drives with me a few more times we will let her begin driving again - a whole new lease on life.
Allie has been singing at church again and has begun to realize that if she wants to be a singer she has to practice a lot and so now she is singing all of the time. Sweet music. As far as school, who the heck knows and really who the heck cares - if - when- whatever all in good time. We are looking into a tutor to come over the house a few days a week and suprisingly we have met with no resistance in fact Allie said, I trust you and if that's what you think I need then let's do it. Cool.
Well, that's all for now. God bless.
Allie's Dad
Been a little. Here is the scoop. Allie is doing well and certainly growing as a person in all ways. She is certainly growing to a new level and we think it is because she is finally off of all her medications. She is much more "alive" now and in a couple of weeks when her system is totally cleaned out she will probably reach all new levels. She is now initiating and being active and doing workbooks and puzzles, all things she was not doing before. Now when she is sitting watching television she picks up her blue jeans and does cross stitch o them. She has been going to the pool and as of Monday we have let her drive the car to the pool by herself. When her system is cleaned out and she drives with me a few more times we will let her begin driving again - a whole new lease on life.
Allie has been singing at church again and has begun to realize that if she wants to be a singer she has to practice a lot and so now she is singing all of the time. Sweet music. As far as school, who the heck knows and really who the heck cares - if - when- whatever all in good time. We are looking into a tutor to come over the house a few days a week and suprisingly we have met with no resistance in fact Allie said, I trust you and if that's what you think I need then let's do it. Cool.
Well, that's all for now. God bless.
Allie's Dad
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Sunday Evening, June 6th
Taken awhile to get back as I know that some of y'all want to know what happened to Allie at the audition. She sang beautifully for the play and was told so by the directors but they did not give her the part. On any other day it would have been hers but this was a very big part and the person was on stage for 2 straight hours; they, like I felt that would have been to much right now but they all love Allie.
Allie is coming off of her medicine slowly (the right way) and will be driving on her own in 4-6 weeks. She is filling out an application for Brevard College and excellent theatre and music college right here in our own little town and I heard a few minutes ago that she went to K-Mart to apply for a summer job. This really inspires me because it shows she is initiating things and wants to get in the work force where her friends are. Yeah!
All is good at home. Matt and I just finished getting our scuba certifications today and it is great to spend time with him and have a sport/hobby in common - something we can do together for many years to come. I like that because we will always be able to go on vacation together (alone) and have that father - son time. Makes me happy. I life I look down the road and create visions of where I see myself and it is a nice vision to see me and him sitting around a dive hotel on a tropical island for a few days just being together - smile!
Quick update, love you all but I have 12,000 pounds of gravel in the driveway that isn't gonna move itself.
Have an AWESOME DAY!
Allie's Dad
PS - I will have a new picture and some video of her singing as soon as I refigure out how
Allie is coming off of her medicine slowly (the right way) and will be driving on her own in 4-6 weeks. She is filling out an application for Brevard College and excellent theatre and music college right here in our own little town and I heard a few minutes ago that she went to K-Mart to apply for a summer job. This really inspires me because it shows she is initiating things and wants to get in the work force where her friends are. Yeah!
All is good at home. Matt and I just finished getting our scuba certifications today and it is great to spend time with him and have a sport/hobby in common - something we can do together for many years to come. I like that because we will always be able to go on vacation together (alone) and have that father - son time. Makes me happy. I life I look down the road and create visions of where I see myself and it is a nice vision to see me and him sitting around a dive hotel on a tropical island for a few days just being together - smile!
Quick update, love you all but I have 12,000 pounds of gravel in the driveway that isn't gonna move itself.
Have an AWESOME DAY!
Allie's Dad
PS - I will have a new picture and some video of her singing as soon as I refigure out how
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Saturday Afternoon, May 31, 2008
HI Everyone
Wow. Mistake in the first word and I am still not going to go back and correct it. I really don;t know where I left off because I still have not gone back to read the blog but something told me to write again. You Know, the longer you get away from the accident the more you seem to forgetbut the more you seem to remind yourself because you do not want to forget. You want to remeber or at least I want to remember all of the pain because from the pain comes the good. It's almost as if you have to hurt or have pain to see the goodness. Sound kind of morbid or morose but I assure you it is not because by remembering I am able to look at my whole family with the new eyes I was given a year ago. It makes me appreciate them more. It reminds me of the old story of the yound childwho asked his parents if he could go in and be alone with thier new infant. The parents were a little leery but agreed after they turned on the baby moniter. As the youngster eneterd the room they sat and listened intently as the child walked up to the infants cribs and began talking to him, to thier amazwement the child started talking to the infant and then asked him in an urgent child's voice he said to the infant, please tell me about God, I'm starting to forget. That is how it is with me. If I do not constantly remind myslef, I start to forget. So here I am - remembering.
Really, all is well. Together as a family we have never been better. There is no anger or fighting it is calm and not the calm before the storm because the storm has passed. It's been over a year and I feel as if we are all starting to get our lives back. I have thought this before but this time I know it. Full Recover, never shaken, never a doubt.
I think God put the spirit in me to write today because of an upcoming recital Allie will be singin in tomorrow evening, You know that over the past six or seven months I ahve been taking Allie to her voice lessons which was thrilling enough that she was even able to sing and I thought it would be years before she regained her form but Wednesday evening at the pre-reciatl rehersal I listened to her sing and I was floored. Her first song I Have Confidence was apprapoe and she sand it well. I was so happy and inside of myself I was blown away as I though quietly - She is READY. At that moment there was not a doubt in my soul that she was ready for the stage - right then and there I knew she without a doubt was Ready. Then she sand her second song and it was so true and so meaningful in the words that I knew God gave that song to her instructor to sing. When you walk through a song, keep your head up high. (Did she not walk through astorm and she has held her heal so high) and don't be afraid of the dark (she never has been) at the end of the storm is a golden sky (her middle name is Syke) and as she emerges into Full Recovery she certainly is a Golden Skye and the sweet silver song of a lark (her angles?) walk on through the rain, walk on through the storm though your dreams be tossed and turned (and they were). Holy crap, here she was on stage a Golden Skye - she walked through the storm and continues to do so. Phew, by remembering I am able to see all of the waking dreams that I do not see when I am to bust "in life".
On the ride home from the rehersal, I told Allie how wonderful she sang and let her know that I thought she was ready. I could tell how proud she was. Then I asked her if there were any tryouts for plays coming up and she told me everything was booked for the summer. Bummer but who knows everything works out. Then about an hour ago she came to me and asked for a ride downtown. When I asked why she told me there was a tryout for Radio Girls, a musical comedy, just her thing. Well I was dirty from working in the yard so Nancy scopped her up and drove her downtown. Tryouts are today and tomorrow so we won;t know for a few days but as soon as I find out, so will you.
I really have missed writing and thanking you all for your continued love and support. Take it slow today and look for the angels and God signals in your life.
Love you all - Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
Wow. Mistake in the first word and I am still not going to go back and correct it. I really don;t know where I left off because I still have not gone back to read the blog but something told me to write again. You Know, the longer you get away from the accident the more you seem to forgetbut the more you seem to remind yourself because you do not want to forget. You want to remeber or at least I want to remember all of the pain because from the pain comes the good. It's almost as if you have to hurt or have pain to see the goodness. Sound kind of morbid or morose but I assure you it is not because by remembering I am able to look at my whole family with the new eyes I was given a year ago. It makes me appreciate them more. It reminds me of the old story of the yound childwho asked his parents if he could go in and be alone with thier new infant. The parents were a little leery but agreed after they turned on the baby moniter. As the youngster eneterd the room they sat and listened intently as the child walked up to the infants cribs and began talking to him, to thier amazwement the child started talking to the infant and then asked him in an urgent child's voice he said to the infant, please tell me about God, I'm starting to forget. That is how it is with me. If I do not constantly remind myslef, I start to forget. So here I am - remembering.
Really, all is well. Together as a family we have never been better. There is no anger or fighting it is calm and not the calm before the storm because the storm has passed. It's been over a year and I feel as if we are all starting to get our lives back. I have thought this before but this time I know it. Full Recover, never shaken, never a doubt.
I think God put the spirit in me to write today because of an upcoming recital Allie will be singin in tomorrow evening, You know that over the past six or seven months I ahve been taking Allie to her voice lessons which was thrilling enough that she was even able to sing and I thought it would be years before she regained her form but Wednesday evening at the pre-reciatl rehersal I listened to her sing and I was floored. Her first song I Have Confidence was apprapoe and she sand it well. I was so happy and inside of myself I was blown away as I though quietly - She is READY. At that moment there was not a doubt in my soul that she was ready for the stage - right then and there I knew she without a doubt was Ready. Then she sand her second song and it was so true and so meaningful in the words that I knew God gave that song to her instructor to sing. When you walk through a song, keep your head up high. (Did she not walk through astorm and she has held her heal so high) and don't be afraid of the dark (she never has been) at the end of the storm is a golden sky (her middle name is Syke) and as she emerges into Full Recovery she certainly is a Golden Skye and the sweet silver song of a lark (her angles?) walk on through the rain, walk on through the storm though your dreams be tossed and turned (and they were). Holy crap, here she was on stage a Golden Skye - she walked through the storm and continues to do so. Phew, by remembering I am able to see all of the waking dreams that I do not see when I am to bust "in life".
On the ride home from the rehersal, I told Allie how wonderful she sang and let her know that I thought she was ready. I could tell how proud she was. Then I asked her if there were any tryouts for plays coming up and she told me everything was booked for the summer. Bummer but who knows everything works out. Then about an hour ago she came to me and asked for a ride downtown. When I asked why she told me there was a tryout for Radio Girls, a musical comedy, just her thing. Well I was dirty from working in the yard so Nancy scopped her up and drove her downtown. Tryouts are today and tomorrow so we won;t know for a few days but as soon as I find out, so will you.
I really have missed writing and thanking you all for your continued love and support. Take it slow today and look for the angels and God signals in your life.
Love you all - Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad
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