Tuesday Morning, Mat 14th, 2010

Good Morning All

Today marks the three year anniversary of Allie's accident and hopefully this may be my last blog. It seems like only yesterday when we received the call from the hospital letting us know of Allie's accident and my body still tingles when I think of it. So where do I start?

Let me begin by thanking everyone for the love and support they have offered over the years and for the gifts and cards they continue to send to Allie during her journey. Your love and inspiration have carried us through the darkest of times and has shown us the power of prayer on its highest level. Your kindness and generosity has touched our hearts in places we did not even know they could be touched.

It has been an unbelievable journey and when they said in the hospital to save our energy, because brain injuries were marathons, they were not kidding. The fatigue of the Boston Marathon pales in comparison (not that I ever ran it but..)

This journey, with all of its ups and downs and fears and tears has been and always will be a blessing for all of us because for the first time in her life Allie is happy. Her dreams of Broadway may be gone but again a blessing because Allie has learned to accept herself for who she is and has said that if she knew the accident was going to happen, she would still have taken the same route that night because she has loves the person she has become. Wow.

On the anniversary of her accident Allie is fulfilling one of her dreams and that is to move into her own place downtown. She has lived on her own on and off for the last year and at times we have looked back during her recovery and wondered if what we were doing was right but in the end, I guess it was. All things for a reason.  We have had our issues and continue to overcome them and I am sure there will be more down the road but I now consider them teenage issues instead of brain injury issues.

A few days ago while Allie and I were out at breakfast, I asked her if she considered herself disabled in any way and she thought for a moment and answered that she did not. As we talked I told her that one of the reasons we fought some times and why I pushed her was because I never thought of her as disabled and I was not going to allow her to "play the disabled card" which could happen at times. Nancy and I have become much more philosophical over the years and realize that you can consider this a gift from God or we could have fallen into a victim consciousness and allowed it to ruin us. We choose to consider it a gift and a new journey.

At school, Allie is doing amazing as she just finished up two classes (intro to algebra and public speaking) and got a "B" in both classes. This is HUGE and we are all so proud of her. She drove herself to class everyday and with a little prompting she stayed organized and on track completing all of her assignments on her own. When I think back three years, which is becoming harder and harder to do, I am in awe of how far she has come. She is registered for a summer class and is currently looking for part-time work.

Today Allie dreams of sharing her love for children by becoming a special ed. elementary school teacher. She still sings at times and continues to make me watch America's Next Top Model with her and I love every minute of it.

It is so weird. As Allie continues to grow, she of course becomes more independent and less needy. I find that I miss the days when we would just get in the car to drive and we would spend hours just talking and driving but for as much as I miss our time together, I am just so proud of the way she continues to face life head on with enthusiasm and courage.It is interesting to see how the student has become the teacher because she has taught me so much more than I have taught her.

Although we have gone through the worst of it and God has seen fit to bless us with the return of our daughter and Full Recover is a reality, there are the everyday reminders which follow us day to day as we continue the process; probably the worst being that every time a phone rings, no matter where we are, our hearts stop and we hold our breath - could it be that call again and when we answer the phone and hear Allie's voice on the other end you do not breathe until you hear that everything is okay. It will probably always be this way although hopefully, in time, it will lessen and if that is the worst, well, we can deal with that.

Nancy and I were sitting on the deck the other day talking about how life as we know it right now is the calmest it has ever been and then the phone rand, it was Beth Drennan the minister who was the first one on the scene of Allie's accident checking in to see how Allie was doing. It had been a long time since we spoke and it was so good to hear her voice and to be able to give a good report.

For those still still suffering I can only offer the following:

Question everything
Try everything
Never give up hope
Never stop trying new things
Stay as holistic as possible
Always remember that you are in charge
Ask God for gentle healing
Accept and embrace your new life

Full Recovery is an attitude, a life style and a possibility.
God bless you all.
Allie's Dad

May 1, 2010

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Sunday Morning March 21, 2010

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Saturday Morning, Feb. 6, 2010

Happy birthday honey. Three birthdays have passed since the accident and each one continues to bring with it renewed growth and spirit. At one time, I did not know if your would see 18 and now as you celebrate 20, I know that Full Recovery is no longer a slogan but is instead an actuality.My heart sings with joy as I watch you blossom into the woman and potential we all knew was possibly. It has not been an easy road but one that we were destined to take together.

As you understand, things do not just happen. There is a reason for everything and together we have come to understand and grow from this experience. Together, we have relearned what life is all about. We have faced adversity and overcome. There are great things ahead in life and where the road takes us we do not know. All we can do is to relearn and become better in the eyes of God.

Thank you for helping me become a better person. Because I've know you - I have been changed for good.

I am so proud of you and I love you millions and billions.

Dad

Dec. 20 Sunday Night

I learn more and more about brain injuries every day. They are elusive. I think we have hit another milestone in our recovery. I also think I must reiterate that it is a recovery process for everyone. In our initial days at the Roger C. Peace Center (the rehab) we were told that brain injuries are a marathon. No one said, they are really the Iron Man triathlon.

Don't get me wrong, we are truly blessed and we all know it but after 2.8 years (give or take) Allie is beginning to grieve and that is a good thing but painful for all none the less. Interestingly, Allie has been snowed in her house, without a vehicle and without a computer for the last three days. This, I am sure has given her a lot of time to think and to be quiet with only her thoughts, her kitty and a small television. No distractions. I think we could all benefit from a stay like that.

She has come to understand and more importantly admit that she does have defecits in certain areas. What a painful but necessary realization. Now true healing can begin. So for as sad as it can be, it has regnited a mission. Now we can truly once again take the next step towards Full Recovery.

Please continue your prayers for Allie, Paige, Rachel and thier families.

Allie's Dad

Tuesday Evening, Nov. 17, 2009

Hi All

Well it has been two weeks that Allie has been living on her own and things seem to be going really well. She is doing her own shopping and cooking and handling all of the chores of living on your own. Beyond your wildest dreams? Full Recovery - Never a Doubt.

Today she also got a job at the Dollar Tree and starts tomorrow. The best part is that she took the initiative and did it on her own. Since every day is a new day, I live with hope. The hope that she will continue to grow and get better and better ever day..

Thank you for all of your continued prayers. Nancy and I love all of you.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Allie's Dad

Monday Afternoon, November 9, 2009

Amazing things continue to happen every day and with each event comes a tear of joy and a heartful of grattitude. Our little girl has taken spread her wings and has moved into a two bedroom cabin we own about twenty minutes from our office or fourty minutes from our homes.

It's wierd but is sometyhing that had to happen. Allie has so much passion for life and for being a "normal teenager" if there is such a thing that deep down she knew she needed to be on her own. I think that by moving into the cabin she will grow even further and faster than I ever cold have imagined. This is a true reality check. She will learn how to budget money and make decisions and reap either the benefits or the consequences of her decisions and that is something she needs because Nancy and I are so protective that we micromanage every moment in her life and the time for all has got to come to an end so she can grow up.

I am so proud of her. She is handling things like a champ. First our cabin is in a place which has people around it but none of her freinds. It is in the beautiful mountains on two acres with a creek running through it so she has plenty of room and I am hoping that she will take pride in ownersip and will make it hers. She got a little grey striped kitten she calls Zebra or "Z" for short and this is a blessing too because it not only gives her someone to love and keep her company but it also teaches her responsibility. This is such a blessing and she is learning real life lessons. She gets a budget for gas and food and a little for play and she now has to fugure out how to make it last (we'll see) but she is learning and making decisions. Do I go back to town when I only have a little gas? Do I eat or put in more gas.... All of the things we have all gone through and had to figure out

So how long will it last? Who cares? IT has been a week and she is showing no signs of being needy or of breaking down. She has visited the house twice and comes over once a week for her neurofeedback training. I thinl she loves having her space and being able to come to the office or the house and visit and then go home to her own space. I thank God for his grace and for everyones prayers. Please continue to pray for Allie and for our good friends Paige Cook and Rachel Juliano, we love them so much and eveyone needs your prayers.

Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad