Sorry for not blogging yesterday, I am sure alot of you are wondering what is going on. First of all, yesterday I was so tired and frustrated that I thought it best universally to hold my tongue until I could mediate and pray somemore and I would like to take this opportunity for letting my emotions get the better of me in past blogs. I know that truly the only things I have control over are my attitude and my emotions and both need to be extremely positive inside and out unfortunately right now it is only outside and that I am having a hard time with.
I am just very frustrated and not sure we are in the right hospital for Allie so we have begun looking for others. It is just that once again we seem to be chasing down the rabbit hole and no one is able to say with any degree of certainty what is going on. They all guess and speculate but no one is willing to go out on a line and they just double talk you to death so you can never come back and say well Dr. So and So said this because in all actaulity like I told one yesterday, I hear a lot of words coming out of your mouth but you are not saying anything. Everyone is looking for deniability so you can never come back to them. Then they do an angio-Cat scan and use the older machine so they do not get the best pictures and it just seem like one foul up after another. Just don;t feel comfortable and for as positive as I normally am I just think we gotta go.
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4 comments:
Glad to see your post this morning. There are so many of us that check several times a day and worry when there is no post.
Steve, don't be so hard on yourself. You are totally awesome! What a team! Sometimes when climbing the mountain, you, as the leader, need to find a ledge where you can rest, center yourself, breathe and begin to look for the next spot to place your foot to begin climbing again. Looks like that is where you are right now. The right footing will appear.
Watching from the outside ... I can tell you what a strong, steady climbing team you appear to be.
If I'm ever climbing the mountain, I would certainly feel fortunate, proud and safe to have the Cagens on my belay team.
"Climb on"
We love each of you.
Joan & Nicholas
Dear Steve, Nancy, Allie and Matt,
So sorry that things are so rough right now - hope you can find answers sooner than later.
Always in our thoughts and prayers.
Much Love,
Clare and Kim
So sorry that this is such a challenge right now. Steve, please just remember that you are human and you have human emotions. You have a right to those - and even though we notice how positive you and your family are staying according to this blog, we know (or at least I do and I assume others do as well) that there are so many other emotions going on behind the scenes because we don't see and hear and experience in real life...those things that you are. Our goal is to continue lifting up Allie and you and Nancy and Matt as much and as good as we can so that you will all be able to come out of this ordeal to a FULL RECOVERY. We expect you to have anger and frustration and even some sadness in dealing with all of the doctors and nurses...all the legalities. That helps us to know how to pray for you. So please continue to be honest - even if all you say is that you don't want to say anything because you are too angry or frustrated - because then we (or I) know how I can serve you guys. Especially from such a distance away. My prayers are that you will find the right place, the right doctors for Allie. That you all will feel peace with that and that it will happen soon so that Allie can receive the best care possible throughout this scary time. Much love and many prayers sent your way from OKC!
Dear Steve and Nancy,
Things will turn around when you least expect it.
Love and hugs,
Christina
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