Thursday Morning, December 20th

Well it's great to be back.

So much has happened in the last 3 months that it would be impossible for me to catch up in one quick session so I will try to summarize how blessed we have been.

Allie is doing remarkable well and is enjoying life with a new understanding and outlook. She is a softer, kinder, more compassionate and loving teenager. She has been blessed with a second chance in life and she realizes it and is grateful ( a grateful teenage?) Every moment is a blessing and joy. We have our moments but if you spent most of every day with me for the past three months you would understand.

Allie will be going to college in three weeks and will be moving out of the house and into a dorm and while I have had my concerns I am finally at peace with the fact that she will be OK. We have a large group of people who will help, her best friend is only one floor up in the dorm and her mom and I are only an hour away. Sure I still have some trepidation but I must let go because God has a plan for her and I can not interfere with it.

Allie is singing again and doing so well. She now sings four times a week and is singing in a church choir. At the Christmas service the other night we all felt the presence of the creator as she walked the processional. As she went by my knees buckled and I actually had to catch myself from falling. There I was, this great big guy with tears running down my eyes - what a sight - but I knew the full story and the Christmas miracle I had just witnessed.

Allie is having her hair done today for the first time since the accident. Tomorrow it is off to NY to see family, also for the first time since the accident and we are all thrilled.

So much more but have to go to work now. Please continue to pray for Allie and for all of our other friends on caringbridge.com. Paige Cook, Rachel Juliano and Jessie Garren.

We love all of you and are so grateful. Where do we go from her? I don;t know. I guess she will lead and we will follow.

Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad

Wednesday Evening, September 25th

I forgot to add my e-mail address - it is drcagen@citcom.net and my cell phone, should you need to speak with me directly is (828) 553-2139

God Bless
Steve

Wednesday Afternoon, September 25

Dear Friends

It is with great sadness that I will no longer be blogging. Apparently the blog is causing Allie to much stress and she is becoming resentful that I am doing it.

This blog means everything to me and to many of you, however it is now work causing Allie or our family the amount of stress it has been.

I can not tell you how much your love, blessing, gifts and well wishes have meant to us. They have pulled us through the darkest days of our lives and have carried us when we could not stand alone.

Full Recovey will become a reality and it is thanks to you so please check that site and pass it along. It will not be long before it is completely done and we are helping people aroung the world. Full Recovery Radio is now a reality and will air Tuesday Evenings at 7:00 eastern time. Just log on to www.blogtalktadio.com to hear the show and a phone number will show up on the screen where you can phone in. So we will be able to talk live and I want to get to know each and every one of you.

Please check back often as Allie may at some time want me to start blogging again, so it is with tears in my eyes and a broken heart that I say goodbye.

God Bless You All. Full Recovery - Never a Doubt!!!!

Allie's Dad

If you would like to join the Full Recovery Mailing list, please e-mail me your e-mail address and I will add you to the group. I hope everyone joins!!!! Again - thank you for being there, let's talk tuesday.

Tuesday Evening, September 25th

Today was a keeper!! Wow, what an awesome day full of memories that I will keep forever.

Allie and I went to therapy this morning and it was good. I asked Alli's therapist if I could have the first and last few minutes of each session to go over my thoughts with her and to get her feedback on how Allie was doing. One of the things I have discovered along the way is that if you do not ask them, they will not just come out and tell you. This is where Mark Clark at the rehab excelled - he, after knowing how much we wanted to be involved, went out of his way to find us each day and spend time explaining to us what was going on, what his rational was for what he was doing, where he was going with his treatment and what he thought the outcome was going to be. I believe on the website I will add a downloadable card that says just that: 4 questions: and 1 piece of advice.

1. What are you doing
2. What is you rational for doing it
3. Where is this treatment leading us
4. What is your expected outcome
5. Question until you are satisfied

Anyhow I asked her the 4 questions and I was satisfied so that was that. Unfortunately, to many health providers get their dander or insecurities up when you ask them questions but you have every right in fact it is your duty to know everything that is happening so you can make an informed choice .

Well after therapy we headed to the Maggie Valloey, a beautiful mountain community on western Morth Carolina. This place is a throw back in time with nice shops..... We drove to one shop which said the most photographed spot in the mountains so we both got out and went in. It was you typical mountain store with knick-knacks, and jellies and ciders. Seen one, seen 'em all but they had a large metal tower that you could climb up and see the view for the low low price of 50 cents each, so after Allie agreed up we went. Three weeks ago the girl couldn't climg 10 stairs and today she went 83 up and 83 down (I'll add pictures later). What an awesome accomplishment!!! She is doing so good. We just sandg the whole ride up and were happy to be with each other. It is so good for me to hang out with her and it just means so much to me.

After the stair climb we drove down to an amusement park in the mountains called Ghost Town. Now you have to picture that this is a mountain amustment park so everything is on the top of a huge mountain and the only way up is on a chair lift. As Allie would say Oy Guvalta. Anyhow we paiud our fair and off we went on this HUGE chair lift. I'm gonna say it again HUGE chair lift. Well we had a great time going up and Allie really liked it. It took about 15 minutes to get up. When we got off, I had them stop the lift all the way so Allie could get off easily and they happily obliged.

The amusement park was closed but the restaurant and a few other things were open so we played the shooting game ind it was a hoot. I showed Allie how to hold the rifle and off she went. She hit a few targets and we had alot of fun. Then in the gift shop we bought a Wizard of OZ mug. Allie has started collecting coffee mugs with actors and movie themes on them. How fun.

Also on the way up the chair lift they take your picture and ours came out great - it's really funny. Of course I bought it and ofcourse you will get to see it - as soon as I get it scanned. Then it was a beautiful ride down. The sun was shining and the temp. was probably 75 and just georgous. It was the kind of day you never want to end.

Well we were both hungry so we stopped for a little Mexican then 20 minutes of shopping and home we go - piano lessons at 3:30. While shopping we did manage to fine some home made chocolate and bought just a few pieces. We have decided to limit out chocolate intake.

The way home was just as much fun as the way there and we got home in plenty of time. Bob he instructor showed up, they had a great lesson and here we are. Allie and Bob get along just fine.

I'm going to go now. Allie is standing over me right now getting annoyed that I am writing.

Tuesday Morning, September 25th

I am going to start today's blog by asking everyone to pray for our friend Rachel Juliano that her recovery is a speedy one and that God will bless her and her family with a love and healing. That he will calm their hearts and help ease their pain. For personal reasons, they have chosen to close their blog site and all of our hearts go out to them. As many of you have been following her progress, I will update you as I am updated on her condition.

Yesterday was fun and different. I worked until 9 am and then Nancy came in and took over and I took Allie to therapy. After therapy Nancy called me and told me she would like tot work the rest of the day and for me to just take off with Allie. How fun. We drove around through the Biltmore village, then picked up Matt, came home, cooked dinenr and did her homework. She did really well staying focused for a while but then got a little frustrated or tired and we put it away. I will be having a talk with the therapist today because I don;t understand why she is giving Allie the work she is giving her and it's HARD I tried it for 45 minutes and couldn't get it, then Matt tried it and couldn't get it, so how is Allie going to get it? Iknow there is a reason, I just have to find it out.

We will be off to therapy in a few minutes and then off for a day of hanging out. I saw Allie had developed a rash on her feet and Nancy spoke to the neurologist who assurred her that was OK and only to worry if it was on the trunk of her body,

Have a great day
Allie's Dad

Monday Morning, September 24th

It always flips me out when I see the date and realize that we are at the end of another month.

Good Morning Everyone

Good weekend, all was well and even better than that. Sat. was quite uneventful with me taking Matt to the motorcycle show and Nancy taking ALlie to the movies. All in all a very quiet day with no highs and no lows.

Sunday was also a good day. I seemed that Allie once again became more awaye on Sunday. I took her to get cranial work done as I do every Sunday and it seems to be helping her in many ways but each time she gets off of the table she seems more centered, calmer and I don;t know how to say it but closer to Allie. After her session we went to lunch and then drove 40 minutes and walked down the old time Main Street of Hendersonville, NC.

Spent alot of time playing cards. The memory game where you turn matching sets of cards face down on a table and themeach person turns over two at a time and the idea is to rember where the cards are so you can match up the pairs. She is dowing that well which is a great improvement to her short term memory. Also playing a lot of pool.

Had lunch with the flylady on Friday and she is helping me get the radio show off of the ground. It will be Tuesday evenings from 7-8 pm eastern time. I'll get back with more details tonight but it will begin Oct 2nd and you will be able to listen to it over the internet.

Allie is having a hard time with Matt right now. Seems she transfers her picking on to different people and right now it's Matt. Kind of hard for a 15 year old boy to not snipe back and in most cases he dosen't - but sometimes (who wouldn't) but I am very proud of both of them and it's kind of refreshing to see some sibling bickering. I guess it's a sign that things are returning to notmal.

There are some times I am with Allie such as yesterday when we were in a hippie store and she struck up a conversation with the guy behing the counter (mid-50's) and just stood there talking polotics and other things with him until I broke it up to leave that things appear quite normal. I spoke with her about having a tutot come over the house to brush her up on college level skill and she agreed that would be a good idea, as long as it wasn't chemistry. I also brough up the idea of going to see a trainer to begin light working out and she agreed at first but then told me she was not going to lift weights as lifting thins still hurt her. She also said her knees still really hurt. Her poor knees took a beating in the accident and have many deep scars on them.

It's a fresh new week and what a great way to start, quiet time, blog and off to work. I know this is going to be a breakthrough week. I am starting to feel my motivation come back where I want to get more projects going again, get Full Recovery - Fully off the ground and get as many people inspired to healing as humanly possible. Last night was the first night I felt comfortable leaving Allie in the living room or dan alone while I went in my office and did some work. Normally I feel like I have to be right there with her so this was a big step and feeling comfortable doing it was even bigger.

If you are in brevard, NC on Saturday, the flylady will be doing a free event at the High School from 9-5. You can get more details at flylady.net

Wll off to work. Have a blessed day and remember that whatever you focus on today will become your reality.

Full Recovery - Never a Doubt

Allie's Dad

PS - Thanks to everyone who sent me their stories. As soon as we get the site up and moving, please look for them on line. You are inspiring others with your words.

Although like to keep all posting on the blog, for those who need to reach me personally my e-mail is drcagen@citcom.net. Also, if you have blogged and would like a response, the blog does not giv eme your e-mail address and will not allow the reply button to work so I am sorry if I have not e-mailed you. Please send me your e-mail addresses.

We also still have many t-shirts and bracelets available. Let's get everyone wearing them, this is an integral past of forming our group of Full Recovery warriors.

Saturday Morning, September 23rd

Bright and early. The dogs started barking at aroung 5:30 so I jumped up to get them out before they woke up the family but for Allie it was to late. She was already up but now has me to hang out with. Once the dos were out we went in the pool room. The lights stayed out in the room and I sat on the couch just watching her on the computer answering her e-mails. I still can not believe how fast this girl can type, even in the dark. Just one of those things that has always amazed me about her and Matt as I humt and peck with my four finger typing.

Sorry about no blog yesterday but I was tired, bummed out and just kind of on edge. Allie was to go to work yesterday but was bumped to lunch since the evening guests cancelled so there was no one there for breakfast. As I was driving her down there, we got a block from the inn when I noticed something was wrong with her hand. Again she couldn't move it. Instead of getting all freaked out we just decided to go home. I told her right then that we were not going to the hospital we would just go rest. Now the amazing part is that she kind of knew what was happening and I believe willed it to stop and go away. She picked up her left hand with her right and put it on her lap her little fingers curling under. At this point I'm under control but with my heart breaking as I watched her start to massage her fingers so they would straighten out. As I turned the corner to go home I was devestated but saw her working on it and then as if she just told it to go - it went away and began working again; within a minute or two things returned to normal and she was fine. We went home and rested.

The rest of the day was spent checking on her and keeping our positive thoughts flowing. I am so grateful that it was such a short episode or that she has come to control it but will we be forever on edge. I think not but you still wonder. Full Recovery means keeping a positive outlook towards the end goal, whatever that may be and accepting the plans God has created for you, still we are human and have frailities. Today has already begun anew and we have a happy, healthy girl up early, smiling, laughing and enjoying the day, On the ouside I am also. There is an old saying the use in one of the twelve step programs. Never compare your insides to someone elses outsides. It basically means - don;t compare how you feel to the way someone else looks. Guess you could come up with your own meanings but if you have ever seen someone and wondered how they were doing so well when you were crumbling the truth is - they may not be. Please do not read anything more into this - I am not crumbling, I just always type whatever comes into my head.

Last night Nancy and I had a neighbor stay with Allie for a few hours while we went to a friend birthday party down the road. Scary but necessary to get out and work on our relationship every now and again. Home at 9:30 - waht a bunch of party animals.

Well it's still pitch black out and I am excited. I get to spend the day with Matt. We are going to a motorcycle show as we both ride and this is an interest we have in common. What could be better than two men together with thousands of motorcycles and carnival food?

Keep the faith. Full Recovery - Never a Doubt

Allie's Dad

Thursday Night, September 20th

Well we made it past ninteen days (the amount of time Allie was home the last time before going back in) so I am breathing again. Not supersticous but then again?

Good day for Allie and I today but she was very rough on Nancy and even though you can rationalize the injury, words sting never the less and when you mix that with tired, tired, tired it is a recipe for well let's just go to bed and have a better day tomorrow.

I took Allie to therapy today and even though you want to ask each therapist how she is doing everytime you go I have resisted. I know she is doing well and will check in once a week - intellectually I know this is not an overnight process and I want to hear the therapist tell me that she is doing awesome and doesn;t have to come anymore but that day will and I just have to hold myself back. It's kind of like the old days and I am sure I am like every parent who likes to hear how well thier child is doing . It's a pride thing I guess, we are all so proud of our children and I am just as proud of her at this moment then I have ever been. One thing I especially like is when she comes out of the therapy room and she is smiling and upbeat and she seems to have had a good time. She is not frustrated or angry - just a little girl coming home from another day at school and all went well on the playground.

After therapy it was off to lunch and then some shopping and back to the office. Nancy is having alot of fun being back at work and I have to admit I am so glad to have her back. her energy is incredible and her smile - like always puts a glow around the building - that's what attracts new patients to our practice.

Allie is going to work tomorrow. She was going to start off with one or two takes for breakfast but the guests cancelled so she will be going in for lunch. Yikes! The boss and I are good friends and they all love Allie so much they will and always have treated her as one of their own family. While I am comfortable, it will be the first time she is away from Nancy or myself and I am having anxiety. Kimmi will never give Allie more than she can handle I just want her to do so well and it's like a parent letting go - I just don't want her to get hurt in any way and I want her to be proud of herself for the job she has done and I am sure she will be.

The web site is coming slow and I am beginning to get frustrated. Maybe I am looking to start to big and just need to take this into my own hands and get something up and then work on refining it from there. I will be having lunch with the flylady tomorrow to seek out some help and advice. Some of her advice today was to get my own internet radio show so that is now done and Full Recovery Radio will make its debut on October 2nd at 7pm - 8-pm. The time and day may change but will be every Tuesday at 7pm after that until other notice. I will get you more info over the weekend but please, please, please help me get the word out. It will be live and we will have guests and we will be able to take calls and blogs while on line.

That's plenty for today. I love you all.

Allie's Dad

Wednesday Evening, September 18th

Yesterday a really great doctor asked me if I could spell world..then to spell i in alphabetical order!! dlorw..that was so confusing..then he said " I will tell you 4 words..just remember them for a few minute.... tiger, tulip, basket, chair, it was hard at the time but I still remember? Dr's and Nurses have really taught me a lot. I'm so thankful for everyone.

I love you all,
Allie

Wednesday Evening, September 18th

Everyone is kind of tired today and scattered about doing their own things but each day gets better. Took Allie to the speech therapist today. It's kind of neat having another chiorpactor in the family because Nancy has been wanting to get back ion the office and we may have found a perfect way to get her back in very part time and still have one of us with Allie all of the time. The past few days when Allie has therapy, Nancy has been coming and an I have been taking her to therapy. Kind of perfect! Nancy gets back in some, I get out some and the patients benefit by seeing a much better looking, funnier doctor whi is also awesome at adjusting. Win, win situation.

While at the therapy center, the speech therapist came for Allie and I asked her about some of the homework sheets she has been giving Allie and then they left. After a minute the therapist came back and sensing I had more questions, she came and asked me if I would like to join the session which I did. The work she was having allie do was more deductive reasoning and I thought it was difficult so but we both got the hang of it. It hardseeing some one struggle with work they would have once zipped through but she is tenacious and brilliant and its coming back more and more so. Still all in all -wired and sad at the same time.

When I got home tonight, I checked Allie's math sheet for tomorrow and she got the entire thing right - way to go, One of those things you are so proud over. Tearing up a bit.

Well like I said - tired night, so have a wonderful evening.

Allie's Dad

Teusday Evening, September 17th

Hi All

Well I guess I didn;t have to blog yesterday as we had a guest blogger, one whom this site is dedicated to. It was really amazing. I came to the computer area and she was reading the blog. I asked her how she got on and she said she has searched herself on line and saw it there. I then asked her if she wanted to do some writing and to my great surprise - she did. It was really cool watching her read the site because it was truly the first time she was getting an understanding of what the blog was and how it was helping everyone. She was also reading the posts and gettting a real feel and understanding about the emotions which follow trauma and the amount of love, and prayers she was getting from people all around the world. It was heart warming to watch the light come on with regards to understanding.

Today she began reading other peoples blogs. She started with her High School friend Jessie Garren www.caringbridge.co then jessiegarren who is recovering from cancer and then by reading rachel juliano's site www.caringbridge.com - then rachaeljuliano. Well it was on Rachels' site that Allie really becan feeling. She was truly sad for Rachel and for what happened. She kept talking about how pretty she was and began reporting to me what her posts were and how sad people wqere and how beautiful some of the writing were and then I told her that was how it was with her you see Allie does not remember anything before going into the rehab and probably even alot of the time in there so it was inpossible for her to remember how she was or the pain she was in or the pain we and many others were in but when she read what had happened to Rachel and how it affected everyone she began to relate that how Rachel was is how she was and that made the so grateful for where she is now but at the same time so emotion for her on-line friends. What cool growth right before my eyes.

The trip to the new neurologist yesterday was teriffic, A very nice man who was patient and understanding and the first thing I liked about him was that he directed all of his questions towards Allie, looking onlt to me to clarify or fill things in. He was tuning into her and I liked that - alot, she has the story, ask her. Along the way he played games with her challenging her memory and cognitave thinking abilities in a friendly - non-threatening way. He asked her to remember four words and then a few minutes later asked her to repeat them, she got 2.5 out of four but with very little prompting she got the rest (hey I forgot one). The he asked her to spell world which she did and the out of the blue her asked her to alphabetize the word world without paper. She got it the second time (off by one letter) I got it the second time also so I guess I am as smart as a teenager. Hey if you think that's easy try it right now - pick a five letter word and spell it backwards. He pretty much gave her a good bill of health but I also gave him a huge box of reports, MRI's, Cat Scans Yadda Yadda Yadda and he said it would take him awhile to go through it. I would take me a month but he was encouraging and we liked him.

After many calls to the hospital, I finally got a return call from the hemotologist who sent her blood work to the MAYO Clinic and all of her blood work came back A-OK.

Today was a great therapy day again. We are seeing a speech therapist for cognative thinking skills and she is doing well, we refuse to point out or shine the spotlight on defecits so I will only point out that she is awesome and getting better everyday. She now gets homework at night and makes a very good attempt at it. Another thing we have stopped doing is letting medical professionals speak in front of her, they are insensative and at times think she does not understand what they are saying and while that may be so at times their words put a label on things and abilities and that gets into her psyche and we have to go in, remove all things negative and replace it with a can do attitude and remove all labels - brain injured - no way - momentarily stunned maybe but not damaged. I really think that we need to stop this practice - talks to parents in private and remove the stigma of labels thereby creating a more positive attitude of accomplishment. I am sure we can all remember being called names in scholl and how it stungs and for some scarred for life well I find these words and conversations hurtful for her and for us.

We walked around Asheville after therapy today. These are times I really treasure and am grateful for especially having the opportunity or creating the opportunity (closing the office to make the opportunity) to be with her at her appointments and then spend quality time during the day walking the shops and having lunch together. She has been so sweet thinking every time we go out about getting Nancy a birthday present. I don;t think it would have entered her consciousness prior to the accident until the day or two before and here we are about 4 weeks out and she just thinks about it all the time. Well she found something today in a small shop and it was just perfect. Can't say what it is because her mom reads this blog to.

Well don't ever give me a day off again because as usual I can go on and on but today's growth and understanding was just more than my heart could hold.

Thanks everyone. Thank you for responding to her and thank you for being there for all of us.

Love and Recovery
Allie's Dad

Tuesday Afternoon, September 17th

Hi everyone! I'm sure we're all happy that it's me writing again. I loved all of the comments I got after my post. If you'd like to email me it's drcagen@citcom.net ... I've been so blessed to have so many great people thinking of me and praying for me..it's really helped me I love it. and I love all of you.

Love,
Allie

Monday Afternoon, September 17th

Hi everyone!! This is Allie for the first time! I would love to thank each and every one of you for all of your gifts and prayers. They have helped me so much. I'm soo thankful that I'm completly better. It was a scary situation for everyone involved and aware of it. The prayers really helped. I'm so happy to see all the love I have. Thank you all for your attention to everything.
Love, Allie

Monday Morning, September 16th

Spent the morning catching up on other blogs, reading others stories and knowing the heart break they are going through. Not sure if it is the best thing to do first thing in the morning but it will sure get your heart in the right place for the day and will most certainly raise your gratitude level.

Last night Allie woke up while I was watching TV and came out to the den and gave me a big hug, then just sat on the couch in silence and watched with me. Pretty nice, especially after the day we had. Then at 4:30 this morning I saw her light on and went to check on her. She had made microwave popcorn and was sitting in bed like a princess eating it and watching tv. How funny! This morning there was a half a bowl of popcorn on the counter and she was sleeping so I guess all went well.

Thanks for all of your prayers and wishes. They really help.

All of my love
Allie's Dad

Sunday Morning, September 16th

Stayed up quite last last night putting together the finishing touches on the game room and it was the best thing we have ever done. Now, instead of staying in the small den all the time we are all together in the large living room (which we are now living in) and faving fun together. Instead of just watching tv we are all gettin active together. We have a piano and weights and a treadmill in the room so there is alot to do. There is also a couch so if you just want to hang out with everyone you can. Yesterday I was sitting in the den after a five hour job of cleaning out the garage. and I was sitteng in the den and there was Allie playing the piano, Matt shooting pool and Nancy just sitting on the couch talking with them. Hallmark moment

The last few days have been kind of difficult with alot of snippyness and some old behavior and today was the head of it all. While you understand that there is an injury, you can sometimes be lulled into a false sense of security. You know while she is still in the learning phase and and you can see her deficits, you can go along thinking everything is now peaches and cream and will stay that way until you get another rude awakening. Now not real bad but just enough to create an underlying but noticeable tension and uneasiness. Actually I think you begin to worry again and wonder if you will ever stop and the more times it happens and the more you get your bubble broken - no matter how minor, it walwys takes you back to a more unpleasant time.

It's really hard if not impossible to use reason or logic with a tbi because the way they or she sees it is the way she sees and that's it. To my friend Mark Clark, she made me think of you today and laugh when she aske me if I COULD DO SOMETHING!

She will be seeing the new neurologist tomorrow and I am looking forward to a fresh start in a new city. Then piano lesson in the afternoon and a visit to the cranial -sacral doctor. Long day, I hope she is up for it. The anti-seizure medication really makes her tired and she likes to go to bed before 8 pm. Your mind just never stops and you do on a spiritual level try to figure out why or was there anythiong you did or could have done differently you can'yt put alot of time or emotion into it. Personally I don't believe it could have been done any differently, In the whole grand scheme of things this was preordained and destined to happen and if you hold on to your failth you cna hold on to your calmness and enthusiastic oulook on the situation.

Sorry to keep popping in an out on blogs but when I blog at home interruptions occur.

Love and Recovery,
Allies Dad

Saturday Morning, September 15th

Good Morning. Bright and Early. Allie and I are watching movies and just talking. No rain in the forecast today so maybe we will just go for a long walk and rest today.

I have been asked for my personal e-mail address, it is drcagen@citcom.net

Stay strong of faith and ever vigilant.

Your friend in Recovery

Allie's Dad

Friday Evening, September 14

Sorry I couldn't get back yesterday but just as I imaginged, it wsa a great day but today was even better. I took Allie down to Greenville for a check up by the neurosurgeon and walked away feeling very good. Dr. Gardner is my guy. To me he is superman> There are not enough words to say how much I respect this guy and if there is someone I am going to listen to - it's him. Well he gave Allie a clean checkup and was very pleased at the progress she was making. He also made me feel validated about my beliefs and the way I handled Allie in her most recent Situation.

You know, things can get rough and demanding and even tiring, I have been tired since May but we are of the belief that this is a great time in our lives and actually and through all of the trials the opportunity has never been great to reshape our family. A second chance if you will to take something was was great and make it even better. As having never been through this situation I am blind and ignorant of what and what can not be accomplished so to me - everything can be accomplished, every goal can be achieved and every dream made true. Many people who have suffered from far greater injuries than Allie has, have gone on to lead lives of extrordinary success and there is no reason for Allie not to, The other night while driving home I was listening to the James Dobson show and a fellow was speaking on the radio and I remember telling myself what a wonderful storyteller this guy was and what a true talent it is to be so good. Well as he went on her told of being a strapping young man - a highschool athlete who overnight her was striken with polio total paralysis. For the next few years he endured the torture of his therapies as they stretched his muscles twice a day, tearing the frozen ones apart only to regain use of one arm and only half way. Well as it goes on he has dreams of being a physical education teacher, a pilot and a guitar player, now these were before the polio while he was still active. In the end with tears inbetween he accomplished his goals with no use of his legs and only half of one arm. He became a physed teacher, owns and flies his own plane and plays in a band. So to one and all Full Recovery truly is an attitude and an accomplishale goal - to Allie and to those suffering greater.

She is in bed right now and Nancy is getting Matt, I don;t know about you but that's sounds pretty good to me.

Have a great night
Allie's Dad

Thursday Morning, September 13th

Ah morning, the best time of the day. Dark, quiet, no one up yet, no drame, nothing to think about but how I picture the outcome to be. Me alone with my thoughts createing my reality the way I see it and desire it to be. How should today turn out? In my reality it is going to be a perfect day.

Be back later. The silence is broken

Wednesday Evening, September 12th

Wow! What an overwhelming show of support and love from everyone around the world Allie and for our family. You'ze guys (hey I still have a little NY n me) are what has made this recovery doable.

Kind of a quit day. I am still at work and have lived vicariously through the phone lines today but have been assurred that everyone is having a good day - a bit snippy today but that's OK. She has been a litle snippy for the past few days, not a lot but noticeable at times.

AFter thinking that we would have to wait many weeks to get her an appointment with the new neurology group an appointment opened up on Monday - imagine that? Universe at work? ANyhow it is not with the doctor we had hoped to see in the group (at least not yet - ha ha) but we are grateful to get in so quickly. The next few days are just therapy appointments and doctors but such is life for the next few months. It good getting the time alone in the car and just hearing her sing to songs again.

The pool table came today so I guess tonight is game night and hopefully every day will be. It's wierd that you can go through your whole life just existing and not really being happy when you can just turn the happy switch on - it's hard and has to be practiced but it can be done. Everyday just runs into the next and you can get so tired but really, it can all be over tomorrow so let's go home and have fun today.

Love you all.
Allie's Dad

PS - Do you like my new picture?

Tuesday Evening, September 11th

Well things seem to be slowing down and evening out - this is good news but kind of wired. There are not those emotional highs and lows at the moment but we have had that before so you are always slleping half awake and with one eye open but at the same time you feel relaxed a little at ease. You can almost breathe again however I am certain deep down that we are done with the critical care and have been blessed to move on to the next level.

Two things begin to happen at this point which kind of bother me a little because I need both of them - one: I seem to have slowed down on the blog because things are smooth and two: alot less people are reading and responding and that is just the natural progression of things but I am comitting to continue the blog until Allie is in college or has reached Full Recovery and there is nothing else to report. Either way I hope you all will continue to stay with me.

Thigs really have evened out and Allie is healing at a wonderful pace. We met today with the case worker at the rehab and she was amazing. She was organized and well versed in working with brain injury patients, she knew the neurologists and is able to get us appointments with the proper doctors and therapists. We are all very comfortable at the new rehab and look forward to going for our appointments. Allioe really likes that we all go out for lunch afterwards also. This experience really has led us to change our life styles and while I am still driven for success and motivated to achieve, it is now in a different way. I love spending time together with everyone.

Tomorrow the pool table is being delievered and Allie is so excited. We cleared out the living room and as of tomorrow we will really begin living in it. I don;t know why we have living rooms but never live in them. Now after changing it into a game room the family and friends are all set to gather aroung and have alot of fun together.

Allie's attention span is increasing every day. She did 45 minutes in K-Mart the other day and she looks beautiful as her hair grow in. Her sense of humor is back and once again she is a non-stop chatter box. The case manager brought up about Allie beginning to drive again and we were all like whoa, she was talking about down the road and the training she will need but still it ws like whoa is anyone out there selling a used tank, guess I'll have to get in touch with the army for a used Hummer or one of those armored vehicles.

Allie began lessons with a new music teacher who she said she really liked and enjoyed her lesson. He is a really good guy and good friend named Bob Hamilton who has been involved in music and teaching his whole like and has actually worked and conducted orchestras on Broadway. He is working on theory and helping Allie regain her pitch and relearn the piano. God has blessed us and we continue to use our affirmations that we are meeting all the right people in all the right places who want to help us in every way possible and that we are happier, healthier and wealthier than we have ever been.

The more we go through this process then more we realize that we can never, even for an instance allow a negative thought to enter our minds with regards not only to Allie's progress but to our entire lives - work, relationships, finances and we can not fear because as Dad says, fear is such a useless and wasted emotion. God, how much we fear and worry only to find out how useless it is and how hameful and devestating it is. One of Allie's favorite sayings is happiness is optional and it is so true.

I am still praying so hard for everyone out there Paige, Rachel and everyone suffering. You can visit them at caringbridge.com type in paigecook or racheljuliano

Full Recovery - Never a Doubt
Allie's Dad

Sunday Evening, September 9th

Quiet day around the house. Took Allie to her therapy this afternoon. On Sunday's we have a D.O. who practices cranial sacral therapy work on Allie for an hour and it really seems to help her. We have come to understand that there is so much more to healing than just the physical, it truly goes way beyond that to the emotional stuff that this jammed up in the body also. Reading a few good books on it now but that has always been in line whith what we have been taught in school with reagrds to the nervous system and the scars it can hold for a long time. This doctor and the phycologist are both working in the same realms of emotionsal release in the body, brain and nerve system.

I have often been so thankful for the way Allie is healing physically and emotionally. I am so grateful that she is happy healing the way she is and is definitely not depressed about school or the accident as she could very well be - maybe in the future but I don;t think so. Also she has no desire to drive or press beyond her abilities, she is growing a a wonderfully steady pace.

Just TV tonight. As Allie would say - Peace - Out

Allie's Dad

Sunday Morning, September 10th

Seems like the days are starting to normalize and by normalize I don;t mean back to where they were but we are getting into a routine with an end goal in mind. Full Recovery - Never a Doubt.

I had the pleaseure of taking Allie out for the day yesterday, flea market (5 minutes), store (5 minutes), lunch and then home. Somethimes things overwhelm her and she wants to be there but can't take all of the sounds, sights or smells - yesterday at the flea market it was the smell of cigarettes that got to her and at the store maybe incense of whatever the smell was.

Things seem to be coming along and we are grateful every moment. Still a long way to go but one day at a time.

Our hearts go out to everyone fighting the fight. Thank you all for checking on us and loving us the way you do.

Sunday and we still have therapies to go to, so another day closer to the goal.

God Bless
Allie's Dad

Saturday Morning, September 6th

Another good day yesterday and on the road to Full recovery.

Yesterday was a full day and Allie did great but one thing I forgot was that she had a voice lesson on Thursday and did a great job for Ms. Ginger.

Funny way the Universe works. My pal Joey D recommended a top neurosurgeon for me to talk to that knows however, I could not get to him on the phone and was almost resigned to never speaking with him. Well yesterday Nancy and I dropped our cars off for service at a dealership in Asheville and as I was standing at the service desk waiting for Nancy to arrive a sporty black Mercedes roled in and a guy in scrubs got out and came over tot he counter as, I am sure you can guess by now he was wearing a white lab jacket with his name on it and it was the doctor I was trying to get in touch with. My how the universe provides. Anyhow, we got to talking and he referred us to a neurologist in our area and gace us the referral to get in. How cool.

After that we went to the rehab center and Allie met with and got evaluated by the new Occupational Therapist and Speech Therapist. As it turns out the OC said Allie did not need her as she was really doing well with her activities of daily living and the speech therapist was really good - 16 years of working with brain injuries - so we are in the right places.

After that we went pool table hunting and found one and a beautiful person from our community called and gave us a wonderful foosball table. It was a day when everything in the universe was in alignment.

This morning Nancy went canoeing with some friends and Allie and I will be going to the flea market - one of our favorite past times that we always did together.

Have a beautiful day.

Allie's Dad

Friday Morning, September 5th

Good Morning!! Tired as all get out today.

Allie had a very good day yesterday but seemed to be tired and why shouldn;t she be but she still was in good spirits and working on healing. Her voice coach came over and did a solid one hour lesson with her and then she came down town and she and I went out for lunch at the Inn on Main a beautiful bed and breakfast where she works as a waitress. She had a lovely quiche and I a salad as I have put on a few pounds during this process then the next think I know it's 9:30 at night and I am just pulling in from work. Long day but Nancy said the evening went very well and Allie said to tell Dad I love him before she went in.

This morning it's off to meet with the new speech therapist and occuipational therapist so we have to get her up at 7:00am - see how that goes.

Any how it's a great day for a breakthrough so have a spectacular day.

Allie's Dad

Thursday Morning, September 5th

Gooood Morning! Bright and earlt, my time of day and is it ever going to be a beautiful one. The mountain air is starting to crisp as we move into fall and before you know it the leaves will be turing and the mountain will be a canvas of God's colors.

Anyhow enough of that. Yesterday was a great day in the healing process. As each day passes I wonder what really happened to Allie to set her into a tailspin over the last two weeks ands I am more and more convinced that it was a single healing episode inside the brain as it transitioned to a higher healing process, a hiccup if you will as the brain reset it self for more healing. Ofcourse wil will follow all precautions but in the grand scheme of things we are so blessed. Still quite scary but very blessed.

Allie and Nancy went to Hendersonville, NC yesterday and walked most of the shops on the Main Street and when I got home last night, Allie was very excited to show me her new purchase - a beautiful necklace. It was metal flowers and really colorful. Allie looks great with colors and lots of them. She has always been quite flambouyant.

Met with a professional web designed last night, one who I felt would make Full Recovery.net more than just a great site but would make it a great site with love and feeling vs. just a technical, cold site.

Well Allie is up so I am gone.

Have a great day

Allie's Dad

To all of our friends in the Western Carolina's and Upstate of SC:

This information was sent to us by our good friend Ondine. We hope many of you can attend.

Dear Steve and Nancy:
I wanted to remind you that I'm having the Nia Jam fundraiser for Full Recovery this Saturday - in case you want to mention it on the blog. Lots of people in the area may be interested to come out and support the cause.

Nia Jam
Fitness that's Fun!
Join local Nia teachers and students of all ages for a great workout that's easy on the spine and gentle on the joints; safe for all levels of fitness.
Hendersonville YMCA
10:10 - 11:30
$10 suggested donation per person
For more info see http://www.niacarolina.com

Tuesday Evening, September 4th

Today was a dream.

Got Matt to school and then came home to pick up Allie. She woke up in a teriffic mood and looked great. We were going to head out to look for a foosball table because she loves to play (great therapy for her left side and hand eye coodrination) and then off to meet with the new psycologist at the Care Partners Rehab Center.

We headed down the road and Allie looked great. She had hopped into the hot tub (cool tub) and then Nancy did her hair and put make up on her and we headed out. She looked fabulous - she had her sun glasses on and was carrying her pocket book and she felt like hitting the road; just like the old days. Allie and I are travelking buddies. Nancy and Matt are home bodies and Allie and I always like to get out so we head off to the flea market or the mall or whereever. Well we went to Docks Sporting Goods and no luck there, matbe in four weeks; from there we went to the mall to look and Allie was in her glory - that's our gorl but she had a pocket full of money and didn;t spend a dime. No luck there either but as we were leaving she ran into two of her friends and that made her day!

Next stop, the rehab center. Nice place and the people were nice. The psycologist was very cool and into somatic therapy and all things natural - hey just like us. As we left Aliie said she liked her so we were off to a good start.

She still has some of the rash left but it is clearing up nicely and the eurologist from Greenville hospital called to check on her today also. nancy said that he was very nice and all was well. I thought that was a very cool thing to do. CYA? but still very cool.

After the rehab it was a quick stop at the auto dealership. I has my sports car in there for a minor reapir and while it was there someone offered to buy it - OK. Sad to see it go but.......

On the way home we decided to stop for some ice cream, got it and drove into the national forest where we sat by the river and just talked for a few moments. Heavenly bliss.............

Back home now and all is well. So how was your day?

Allie's Dad

PS the affirmations continue to work; we have been using - everyday in every way all the right people in all the right places are coming into our lives to help us and we are happier, healthier and wealthier than we have ever been. Pretty cool. Affirmations do work! Also Allie now does not mind me doing the blog so all is well!!

mon. eve.
Just to clarify, Allie has discontinued an a strong anti-seizure medication (per the neurologist), but is taking a different one.

Monday Evening, Spetember 3rd

Once again, what a difference a day makes. One day off medicine and Allie woke up in a great mood and was ready to get back to life. We watched a little TV together this morning - America's Next Top Model. Since the beginning of this eposide or shall I say since Allie has awakened, I have probably watched 150 espisodes of America's Top Model - WOW, what a father will do for a daughter.

Tried to get back to real life as a family again so we all went out to luch (Sushi) and then off to a movie - Mr. Bean's Holiday - I thought is was hilarious and the others also enjoyed it. Then we go home and during dinenr got a call back from a local D.O. who has offered to work with Allie and he wanted to see her tonight, to which Allie was agreeable so she and I loaded up and drove over to his home where he did cranial and energy work on her for about an hour. She loved it and when she got off of the table at the end of the session she looked like a new person.

Tomorrow we have an appointment with the psycologist at Care Partners, the out patient therapy center. You need to be assessed before meeting with the therapists which will be on Friday and we also got the name of a great neurologist right here in asheville so we will call for an appointment tomorrow, also the name of a great physiatrist also in asheville so things are looking up as we will neot be stopping there but looking into the advice of everyone who has written to us. Thank you all so much for your leads and your personal stories, they really help us get though the day sometimes.

So tomorrow is a new day and we will begin all over after a wonderful night of healing.

Love and Recovery
Allie's Dad

Sunday Night, September 2

Night comes to a close and the tension is palpable. Not between me and nancy or Allie or God but with yourself. How do you go to sleep when all you want to do is continue going in her room to check on her but you can not do that. This is just another path on the road to Full recovery and as she heals, so do we. I don;t know the lessons here and may never but right now I don;t like them - don;t have to I know as I have said many times - I will never leave you and I know that to be true but dang will the day ever come when we don;t worry about this little girl - we know it will but there are times you wonder.

Tomorrow is a great day for a breakthrough.

Allie's Dad

Sunday Evening, September 2

And the test goes on. All arreared well this morning then when Allie woke up we noticed that her face and lipes were swollen and she had broken out in a rash and all we could do was look at each other and go damn. When the heck are we going to catch a break. Nancy was besides herself and quickly looked up the side effects of dilantin and sure enough some of the werious side effects which required you call the doctor were swollen lips and a rash. Now what! We called the pediatric doctor who prescribed the med and he said to just discontinue it and give her some benedryl. Back down the rabbit hole or maybe the universe is just telling us that this child is not supposed to be on medicine. Any how we had to treat it and did.

Tomorrow will be better and we are all greateful to be home.

Allie's Dad

PS - Don't stop prayin

Sunday Morning. September 2nd

Early morning, nancy and I sat outside haveing coffee and tea and spoke of how lucky we were and where to go from here.

We listened to the birds sing and were happy

Allie's Dad

PS To the guys at the Roger C. Peace Center - We love you guys, you are the funniest and Mark, you are the best, Allie loves you and so do I.

Say good night Gracie - Good night Gracie

Saturday Evening, September 1

Well we are home and boy are we tired.

I finally decided after reviewing the facts on-line, with confidants, with other patients on the floow, with other people who have had spinal taps, with my own memories of having one and of course in conteplation with God that we were not going to do it on Allie. I had a sick feeling ever since they mentioned it and have not wanted it and no matter how hard I tried to conform to what they wanted, I could not go against myself and my belief in the wisdom of her body and my view of health care mainly because she was asymptomatic; not exhibiting any symptoms which would warrent a spinal tap. If she ever does we will take her to our local emergency room where she can have one done - don;t believe it will ever be necessary. Anyhow my decision did not go well with the pediatric neurologist who promptly said he thought we should seek a second opinion from some other group and basically said since we did not listen to him on this issue that we were dismissed - boo hoo. Wow I have never met a group with bigger or more fragile egos. It seems that if you question or do not immediatley comply that you are labeled as non compliant and dismissed. Actually I can understand and have no hard feeling I am just dazed and confused by the way these guys never sat down with us and explained their thought process, where they thought they were going, what their rational was and what they were going to do it what they had origionall thought did not pan out. Then they had the gall to tell me that I was not doing the right thing by my child when I refused to physically restrain her twice a day, causing her huge amounts of physcological stress which may be the cause of her problem just to give her shots in the stomach at $3,500 a month. Brutal especially because they could not answer my questions as to why they chose that medication and why they immediately chose a six month course of action when there was no visible evidence of stroke and before they got the lab results of her blood back from the Mayo clinic, a week or two maybe but six month? This I thought was an extremely lucid and rational line of questioning yet was taken as being a trouble maker. Call me protective but hey if you have never tried to give a 17 year old tbi patient who has been shot in the stomach 10 or so times already another one and you are not a doctor/nurse figure in a controlled enviromnet with other nurse/doctor figures standing by to help, let me know - to think this can happen is beyond comprehension and then to say to me that hey sometimes parents have to do things to their children for their own benefit is callous and insensative and the remarks of someone who has never done it. Remember, walk a mile in my moccasins.

Anyhow our departure was much like that of Felix Unger, Dah dun da duh da duuuuh, da da da da da daaaa daaaah on September first, Steve Cagen was asked to leave Greenville hospital and to never return, that request came from his pediatric neurologist. A little nostalgic humor for those of you old enough to remember it.

Well we are home and happy and while not worried are ever vigilant to Allie and her condition. We talked (or she did) on the ride home and had a good time. We will be checking her temp. everyday a few times to create a baseline we can moniter. We know a fever is always present with any type of infection, something she has not had (asymptomatic). She is upbeat and so happy to be back in her own bed. She has just taken a bath and we have requested that she not shower for a few weeks since that was when we noticed the episodes would come on.

All in all we are OK with everything and looking forward to getting back on the Full Recovery band wagon. I can not remember who gave me the book The Monk who Sold his Ferrari but thank you, I am really enjoying it and Allie thinks the title is funny.

So with grateful hearts we head off to bed knowing that everything is once again OK and our family is all at home together. I would like to thank my sister Roni for coming up - you came for a visit but got an adventure. I am glad you are home safely.

To everyone reading - God bless and good night.

Allie's Dad

Saturday Morning, September 1

I can not believe it is September, but I also said that about June, July and August.

Morning time and Allie is still sleeping. She has been so amazing during this process that words can not express the amount of love and admiration both Nancy and I have for her. Never once has she wimpered or complained. She has wanted to go home, as we all do but she has understood why she is here and here level of thought and determination is such that she wants to do whatever it takes to get well. God Bless Her.

I almost stared to write that I was stoping the blog this morning because I was having a hard time being positive but I read many of the e-mails this morning, especially Jen's and it helped me realize that being frustrated is a part of the process and something that goes with the good and that there are many people out there supporting us and cheering us on who want to know how we are and how we are doing no matter the level of frustration because so many of them have their own stories and identify with where we are. You see this is not my world! I do not belong her, I live in a world of wellness - not sickness and my believe is in a higher power, an innate intelligence which controls and coordinates all function in the body. I believe that Allie is fine and in grace and will continue to heal unimpeded by outside influences and that she will go on to reach and live at her highest God given potential.

I am a very protective father and I offer no apologies for that. I have certain belief patterns which I also offer no apologies. I have to go because they are heading to Allie's room but I will be back with great news of the day.

carpe Diem
Allie's Dad

Friday Evening, August 31st

To finish up from the blog before.

Anyhow the shots were not going to happen and the nurse was in there to see Allie's reaction. So we told the charge doctor that we were not going this route and that he woudl ahev to find another way. Well they are all pissed off at me and think I am the most non-compliant trouble maker ever to grace the hallowed halls of Greenville Memorial hospital. Anyway Dr. Big comes in later and tells us that is is the shots in the stomach twice a day even though there is no sign of stroke or cumadin but that the levels would not get high enough and on and on. Well while he is talking Nancy goes into the hallway to make a call and then comes back in adn when I ask her her opinion she says she would like to speak to me in the hallway for a moment, well this sends Big into a tizzy and like a prissy little school girl he stand up and says Don't do this to me and I will not stand for this and storms off with his minions in tow saying when you've made a decision, come find me - real pro eh? We decided we will go the sapirin route. Come on, how many of you could hold your 17 year old daughters down and have them let you inject them in the stomach with a medicine that burn as it goes in twice a day much less having a daughter with a brain injury. Let's get real, another brilliant moment like the 24 hour eeg.

Well they all went away and Allie and I had a grand old time playing pool and foosball and cards until she had yet another MRI to see if thing have gotten worse and one of the neurologists just reported in that it had and that he saw no option but to do this Lumbar Puncture (spinal tap), well we talk for a while and basically he said it is to determine if she has a viral infection, bacterial infection or nothing at all. and I ask what he would do either way full well know if it ws viral - nothing, bacterial, antibiotic and nothing, well? nothing and he agreed. So is it would it, now I'm between a rock and a hard place, I am sure it will come back negative and even asked him how he could think infection especially since she has not had any fever the entire time and he just shrugged. We have go through everything else so I asked Allie what she thought and she calmly said, whatever is best for me so they have beat me into submission, I will hate myself for doing it or I may hate myself for not doing it but basically I hate myself for being in this situation and not trusting who I am or what I believe in. Forgive me.

Anyhow my anxiety level is off the charts but please let me say, you are only reading my thoughts. Many people have questioned my faith or how I was doing recently and I really am doing fine, I am just stuck in a situation I do not agree with and I am doing things I don;t believe in andI am having a hard time with it - I will be OK and I am OK, so let's just all get through this and get our little girl home.

Peace and Love'
Allie's Dad

Friday Morning, August 31st

Hi All

Sorry for missing the day but all went well. Git the report from the radiologist in NY we sent the pictues to and all is well as far as vascular problems or stoke goes and that's great news. They will be taking Allie down for another MRI in a few minutes and then we should be able to go back home today. They wanted her to stay on a blood thinner called Lovax or something like that and I have never been happy about it nor has nancy and amazing alot of the nurses have asked or questioned why they want her on it. This morning I was supposed to give her the shot (in the stomach) but that was not going to happen, she would not allow it

Wednesday Evening, August 29th

Today was a great day getting back to work and knowing that Allie was going to have an easy day in the hosiptal. There would be not tests and only one or two shots so it should be faily smooth and I ws not wrong. First for me, I love going to work. I get to spend time with some people I really like and have grown to love and be like family. I get to wear shorts, laugh and help people, I consider it a great honoer to work with the people who come to me everyday. My patients deserve a big thank you from Nancy and I as they have been there for us everystep of the way as we have changed shedules on them ( a few times), and we have had to inconvenience them and they have always been there to love us and hug us and carry us through. Thanks Guys and for everyone else, and to the thousands who have and continue reading the blog. Many of you are silent but we know you are there praying and cheering us on.

We are more confident tah ever that Allie is now going to recover at even a faster pace. Now that we are able to adjust we have also begun changing her diet by getting her back on Juice Plus in the hospital and by bringing her in fresh food and juices. Thanks a billion to our dear friend Kimmi Oddo and her whole family who run the Inn on Main in Brevard, NC for catering Allie's dinner tonight. They are not only great friends, they are Allie's great friend (and boss'). The Quiche and Kimmi sauce was eatin here her tonight - each bite with a big smile!

My sister Roni joined me on my trip to the hospital after work tonight and that was a real treat getting to spen some time with her; probably the most since her trip her due to the current situation. When we got there Allie looked great and was so happy to she us she satood up and great a big round of hugs to all of us. What an awesome greeting. Of course Nancy's was awesome awesome also and quite reconnecting after being apart for the day. Allie told us about her day and they had dinner. After that is was a game of foosball with all of us laughing and then we all played rummy and Aliie won the first hand - truly won. At no time ws she upset or complaining, her spirits were good and her with was quick.

Thanks to everyone who has sent information, articles and books (thanks dad), you have moved us with all of the information. We have made calls, sent films to other doctors and sponken to master herbalists who we will seek care with once we leave.

So here's the really great part of the day - All of Allie's cat scans and angio cat scans have come back negative for any blood leaks or hemmoraghes and no vascular disorders or stenosis. Now that's great news. The doctors still want her to stay on this heavy blood thinner but we will talk. We know these guys really do want the best for Allie but it has been a very difficult road with many tests and few answers. We are looking forward to getting her home and that comes with a lot of uneasiness but we can not leave her there for ever.

Anyhow, great day, great news still a long way to go but we are all ready to do it. Giove my regards to broadway.

Allie's dad

Tuesday Afternoon, August 28th

Thank you so much for all of you love and concern. We are in a calm sense of right as we have have once again been able to clear out thoughts and our hearts and recomitted Allie's care to to love and protection of God and have taken back our believfs in natural healthcare. Since letting God we have been filled again with the spirit and the calm and doors have begun swinging wide open and not hospital doors but universal ones.

Earlier in the day i visited the chapel as is my custom to pray and put in a prayer request for Allie and in my prayer I asked for a personal favor as I have been taught you can do and that is when i was once again filled with the light. Upon returning to Allie's room she looked up at me and said Dad, I'm OK and she shook me to the core. I forgot to mention that earlier in the day she looked up at me and said Dad, pray for me today. She has asked this of me twice in the last two days. Once in the room I did some energy work on her and then adjusted her cervical spine and she immediatley relaxed. This has been only the second time I have been able to manually adjust her and she moved unbelieveably. Her face immediately cleared and we went for a walk.

Sometime when you are caught up looking for answers whe have to remeber the incredible healing power of the body. How long has the subluxation been interfering with her nerve flow and could that ahev caused seizures. OF COURSE and could it have interrupled with the blood flow causing vascular problems - OF Course. I am so glad she let me pray for her and them adjust and lay hands on her. Removing the nerve pressure is what we do and now that we are able to touch her, she is once again on her way to Full recovery - only quicker. Of course we will still send the fils out to be read and take every precaution but we all know deep down who does the healing - and who has the power. If we can put her little frame back in place and allow the God force inside of her to work again - Broadway here we come.

Your research and letter mean so much to Nancy and I - thank you, thank you, thank you. Yo can not believe the ministers and spiritual leaders of all faiths that have called us in the last few hours. It's as if the heavens have once again opened up and the angels have spread their wings for Allie to ride on.

Sorry I had to get off so abruptly before but Allie needed me - right then!!!

Full Recovery - never a Doubt
Allie's Dad

Hi everyone,
This is Nancy. I feel like there is someone out there who can help us right now. This is my gut feeling. I don't know who he/she/they may be, however, I know someone has insight to this "obstacle". If you feel something deep down - possibly something/someone comes to you - please contact us asap. Time is of the essence. I am begging for help from friends, family and of course, from our Almighty God. We are struggling and need your help. Please whatever anyone can do, we are open to receive. God bless you all for your continued love and support. With love and gratitude.

Tuesday Morning, August 28th

Sorry for not blogging yesterday, I am sure alot of you are wondering what is going on. First of all, yesterday I was so tired and frustrated that I thought it best universally to hold my tongue until I could mediate and pray somemore and I would like to take this opportunity for letting my emotions get the better of me in past blogs. I know that truly the only things I have control over are my attitude and my emotions and both need to be extremely positive inside and out unfortunately right now it is only outside and that I am having a hard time with.

I am just very frustrated and not sure we are in the right hospital for Allie so we have begun looking for others. It is just that once again we seem to be chasing down the rabbit hole and no one is able to say with any degree of certainty what is going on. They all guess and speculate but no one is willing to go out on a line and they just double talk you to death so you can never come back and say well Dr. So and So said this because in all actaulity like I told one yesterday, I hear a lot of words coming out of your mouth but you are not saying anything. Everyone is looking for deniability so you can never come back to them. Then they do an angio-Cat scan and use the older machine so they do not get the best pictures and it just seem like one foul up after another. Just don;t feel comfortable and for as positive as I normally am I just think we gotta go.

Sunday Evening, August 26th

9:10pm and our little darling was so tired she couldn't keep her eyes open for another second. Unfortunately she will have to get a shot shorty which will be a rude awakening but hopefully for only a moment - she has been exhausted ALL day.

So where do we begin today? Who knows but there is good news. It's all kind of wierd to be doing so good fro so long and then a curve ball comes at ya. Well they put Allie on the antiseizure med. the other day and we are prretty sure that she has still been suffering seizures and that should not be because of the medication so what else could it be besides a TIA or mini-stroke with reversable paralysis. It will be OK if we figure it out because it is treatable but if not treated it is a precursor to something bigger - irreversible.

When we got here today they put her back in pediatrics which was OK but we had an uneasy feeling about the pediatric neurologist - probably very good and he did recommend further testing and got her directly admitted today but you know, when something dosen't sit right ot just dosen't so we asked if there were any other pediatric neurologists but to our suprise in the whole system there were no so we asked for an adult neurologist come and see Allie - well they called the one on duty but the guy was the biggest ass8&%^& on the planet and would not come over to the pediatrics unit to see a patient and yelled at the resident that made the call and told them to put a real doctor on. What a jerk!!! So now Allie is without a neurologist for the moment - if one will not come tomorrow, we will ahve to move her to the adult unit - what a bunch of semantics. Those guys won't come here because they feel like they are stepping on the pediatrics guys terratory - screw the patient. What we have to put up with. Anyhow the rest of the doctors and nurses on the floor have been teriffic

Poor Allie once again became the human pin cushion - lots of blood samples (some going to the MAYO clinic to check and see if her blood really coagulates to quickly which may be a problem - to thick) and her veins are so tiny it is extremely difficult to get blood from her. Ouch!

From there it was off for another CAT scan to check for any hemmoraging in the brain of leaking and thank goodness there was none - then back to MRI to a prestroke evaluation to check for any stenosing or narrowing of her arteries which may be the problem. If it is she can just be treated with blood thinners for awhile.

What has happened to my baby - the good news is on the way to the hospital she told me she was a fighter and not a quitter and she wanted to get healthy and go to school and go on Broadway so thank you God for all of the healing you are giving her and thank you all for caing.

Allie's dad

Sunday Afternoon, August 26th

Back in the hospital again.

Once again Allie experienced a seizure (episode) after her shower but this time we don't know if she also had a reaction to the medication but it was worse then normal and she got real tired, stated running a fever was very wobbly on her feet, slurred speech, double vision, nystagmus (twitching of the eyes) and on and on............ Poor kid has been so good throughout all of this.

Called the neurologist and he recommended that we get her back here - so here we are. Damn!

Hopefully be back with better news later. She is in Greenville Memorial Hospital room 5522

God Bless
Allie's Dad

Sunday Morning, August 26th

It appears that I'm running a day behing but that's OK.

Yesterday was just a hang out day. We all sat around and had a huge family breakfast and then hit the couches for the day to watch movies together. Allie seemed to do well as she always does when she is home. Now it's my turn, seems like I have an abscess in a tooth or something and the entire right side of my face is swollen. Oh well.

Weather is wierd so probably the same plans for today except I might have to go seek some help. What the heck...........

Anyhow, Dr. M the scarce guy I wrote about called yesterday to see how Allie was doing. Nice job - little late but much appreciated. Allie ws playing rummy with Nancy last night and was using her left hand again to hold onto things; cups, cards ..... How awesome to see her use that left hand and not drop things every few seconds. The hardest thing now, for all of us and especially Nancy is to wait for her to get up in the morning to see how she is doing. She had never had a problem (knock on wood) and the for that one day when she woke up and looked the way she did it levaes you full of anxiety wondering everyday now if she will wake up like that again.

I like when she says I lvoe you and gives you hugs now. The medication seems to be working and we will move her appointment with the neurosurgeon up. I think the one thing we all need to remember that in the hospital and in life we are in charge and it felt really good to take our power back, scary as it may seem and we have to make the final decision as to what we are comfortable with and understand that God gave us an innate healing ability and we have to trust that. Glad science is here even more glad that God is.

So where does this leave us? On the road to Full Recovery, where else!!!!!!

I guess my question for today is, how can I make my families life a little better today, how can I show them that I love them, how can I be selfless for that is when I will grow, so is being selfless - selfish because I am growing or am I growing because I am not thinking about me - quick someone call a monastery and get me a reservation. I just love quantum physic - don't you, makes you think so hard that when you stop thinking and just experience - enough of that just watch the secret (www.thesecret.tv) or what the bleep (Great DVD) or the books are even better. They deal with Universal Principles escpecially the Laws of Attraction.

I was supposed to take my sister Roni (who is just so cool) for an airplane ride today but we will seeI want so much to hug you all and let my friends Dr. Rick and Donna Humiston and family how much they mean to us. There are some people in the world that you don;t talk to alot but that you have spiritually connected to and know that they are always there; just like most of you guys.

The more I sit the more I could type but I hate to bore you with my ramblings so have a great day.

Love Y'all
Allie's Dad

Saturday Morning, August 25th

Home at last. Who ever said theres no place like how knew what they were talkng about, same as the guy that said carpe diem, life's to short, be prepared and question authority.

As I type everyone else slppes and my anxiety build as I await to see how Allie is this morning. Those who have ever been in a clsoe call in an auto accident can relate to how I feel right now. At the time your adrenaline is up and you are in survivasl mode and once it is over and you can relax for a moment your can fall apart a bit.

The final nuerologist came in and really tried to scare us that we needed more tests and such as if we didn;t stay in the hopsital a few more days and do more tests - who knows. Fortunately I ran into the neurosurgeons who are great and I trult trust and they put both Nancy and I at ease. These guys in the hospital can truly have your forgetting who is really in charge - glad we were strong. I requested all of her records and wouldn't leave until I had every paper, picture, note and test - let's get some other opinions. For now, Allie needs to be home and once she got out of there she seemed to to immediately go in the upswing. I olny pray she slept well and she awakens better. It just keeps running through my head - I will never leave you, I will not forsake you.

Everyone (all of the auxillary people) in the hopsital are alway so kind to Allie and truly love her. Ms. Ruby in the gift shop (as Allie would say, my favorite place) God bless her 83 years old and still there working the shop and quite well I might add, Ms. Patty, Jane and Darlene and of course the good folks in subway who know immediately what she wants as soon as she walks in.

Another road in the adventure and I am sure this was for a reason - never question why, we can only do our best and work for the future, We need to enjoy life more, play with them more, hug and kiss them more and certainly tell them we love them more adn with any luck we have done enough and we have instilled an unshakeable faith in them and an intense will to succeed and will will all live to see another sunrise and grow old together. When people write, expecially those corny quotes you may blow them off because you are only reading the words but not feeling them the way the writer meant them to be felt. Live for the day, I would trade all my my gold for another day of health,,, not words but feelings on paper and unfortuantely you may have to have suffered a tragedy to feel the feelings. I hope you don;t/

Morning, before anyone wakes up has always been my favorite time of the day.

Gid Bless
Allie's Dad

PS - Thanks for writing back. It really helps

Friday Afternoon, August, 23rd

3:30 still here and still getting differing information. Every doctor that comes in has something different to say. this one says this this one says that nothing can confirm everything......... You can see why American healthcare is in such a problem and why Americans are on so many drugs. If you are not educated on asking questions or do not want to offend a doctor you will be run down the rabbit hole into an abyss of uncertainty - especially if you do not ask questions and have good insurance. Nuff said there.

As my dear deceased father in law used to say to me - Stephen me boy, never let'em get their clutches on you. Well Bob - this ones for you!

At this point I don;t know what to say but we will exhaust every avenue for Allie and as always put our faith in God and know that Full Recovery is right around the corner and Full recovery.net is needed more than ever and in every hospital room in the world because dealign with these detached people never has a positive spin on it - well they won't get me!!! And in the future they won't get many others due to all of our efforts and it can not just be a web site but will have to be virtual - we have to teach people how to be positive and advocates. I know these guys mean well but the neurologist was watching the television while talking to us to the point where Nancy stood up and turned it off and I told him that he was coming across as intimidating and not to try to scare us. Why did three others doctors see the same report and feel everythign was Ok and now last minute again like last night another test - fill another bed for the night - create another test bill for the hospital???????

Anyhow we will do the best for Allie.

Love and Prayers,
Allie's Dad

Thursday Evening, August 23rd

Well today was a waiting game fuill of frustration. At tinmes thigs seemed to go well and at others, not so well. At times we seemed to know what was happening and at other times, it was a big guessing game. It's like the old days, in the beginning, just one big ball of frustration and being Allie's advocate watching every move they make because again, at times it's like the left hand dosen't know what the right is doing and once again it's the same old crap of putting up with nurses that are non-caring and or just plain _____, you fill it in.

Just when we though we might have an answer, we did eeg's, MRI's, MRA's, CAT Scans ..... and though we might be going home - nada. At three thirty a resident comes up to us and tells us that they are going to do a 24 hour eeg. This means putting 20-30 electrodes on Allie's head and then wrapping it up with gauze and a sock and having her stay in her room, on camera for 24 hours. This was riduculous. It makes me wonder if doctors ever think of the patients and/or review their history or take them into consideration in any way other than the robotics of just order another test to fill a bed. How frustrating!!! There is NO WAY on earth that Allie was going to do this and one would think that a neurologist would take into consideration that she is a 17 year old traumatic brain injury patients and would understand there is no way they are going to let anything like this stay on their head or at least they woudl have the common sense or decency to talk to the parents to ask them if their child would be able to endure something like this. It would have also been nice if they would communicate with you before ordering it and sat down with you to let you know what it was for, what it would tell them and if it would be conclusive. We determined it would be a crap shoot - might tell them something, might not. After kicking it around for a wile and knowing full well it would never happen but wanting the best for Allie we and she agreed to try it. While it was a BAD move and we knew it I believe we might have done some good. The probes were on and Allie was on the computer for about 20 minutes before she absolutely bugged out and began crying hysterically that it was hurting her so bad and continured to scream for the next 30 - 40 minutes until we got someone up there to unhook her but what they were looking for was to see if they could catch her when she was having an episode of seizure and from all of her screaming and crying they may have done that because when she got off her lip was drooping and she was slurring her words again. Crappy price to pay but hopefully it was what they needed. Either way we are taking her home tomorrow unless something major wrong shows up and there is no way that will happen.

The poor dear pooped out at about 7pm tonight and hopefully will get alot of sleep tonight. Nancy and I went out to get a meal for the first time in two days and while it was nice I wanted to get back. Well I was going to stay in her room for the nicght just to be near her but I looked in her window and she was sleeping so sound I will walk across the street and stay with Nancy at the Ronald McDonald house.

Driving back from dinner we were talking about how we would never forget the sight of her stanging there with her face and arm dropped in paralysis, drooling and slurring her speach and how heartbreaking it is much more so then when she was in a coma becasue then she didn't know and not she is just so confused and really doesn't understand but on some level must, like what happened to me. It breaks my heart to see her left hand in a claw not being able to grab things and she seems to not know there is something wrong with it. Fortunately this will pass and she will regain her stregnth and with luck these things are one time occurances.

I don't know, just a long day but a good one just to be here with her and know that in the end once the frustration and junky feelings have passed, it will be all right.

Love you all,

Allie's Dad

Thursday Morning, August 23rd

Well that was a heck of a night.

When I got back from K-Mart anf finished blogging, I when back to allie's room to find her awake and sitting up watching TV and trying to eat cereal. Most of it was on the floor as she probably tried putting it in the bowl herself and does not have the stregnth or coordination to do it. How sad, it broke my heart. she looked all disheveled and confused and I asked what she was doing up. She said the doctor had come in and worke her up and she thought it was 9:15 in the morning instead of 9:15 at night so she had taken a shower and was starting her day. The poor dear was so confused after slleping for a half hour and being awakened. I showed her it was night time out and we both just laughed - hey it's happened to all of us and actually it was a good thing because they came and got her at just after 10 to do the MRI/MRA. They were supposed to do it this morning but somehow had a slot they slipped us in to. we got back to the room just after 11 and I was glad it was over. Midnight, she turned the TV off and it was the start of a new day. Lots of prayers and off to sleep on the most uncomfortable chair bed ever. 1 oclock, still praying and thinking. 2oclock babies crying, loud intercom announcements, 3:30 nurse comes in for vitals, 7 oclock doctor comes in, 7:30 nurse comes in, 8:00 oclock doctor comes in. 9:00 oclock 8 doctors come in. Basically we still don;t know anything but there is nothing really dangerous happening here at least we do not believe so at this time.

Allie is kind if pissy this morning and who can blame her. It just kind of hurts a bit when she gets mean. Maybe not hurts but sure stings for a moment. When she got up this morning she appeared OK but then took a shower and once again got very confused and started drooping and slurring her speech again. The saddest part is the mental confusion, well actually it's all of it. She came out of the shower with her sweatshirt on backwards and my heart broke a bit but our sister-in-law Ellie, a nurse and awesome support system for us spent the night researching her symptoms and what the doctors ahve told us and has reassurred us that thigs would be OK and as she has always given us great advice and has always been right so we feel comfortable with what she has told us today. It's great having her and she has been such a blessing for Nancy - Thanks Ellie - i love you.

Unless something turns up that the neurologist sees that no one else did we will probably be going home sometime today. Allie may need physical therapy for a while to get her left arm going strong again or maybe not??? Who the heck knows. The more I want to know the more nobody can tell me. One thing I have learned in the hospital is patience and really when it comes to the brain injuries - no one knows but they have all been so nice and helpful here - I am really glad we chose this place.

To realize how truly blessed you are all you have to do is walk any floor in this place especially the one we are on - pediatrics. Wow.

Anyhow it's now noon, once again she is eating Subway and we are just waiting to see the neurologist and I believe they ahve the physical therapist coming to see Allie.

It's all good. We love you.

Allie's dad

Wednesday Evening, August 22nd

2nd Update

Allie fell asleep at 7:30, the poor dear was so tired all day long and went through so many tests, thank goodness she finally conked out. She looked so little ans so innocent as she hugged the blankes and said good night, then in a weak little voice she said I love you and I just felt so small myself.

Nancy and I drove over to K-Mart to pick up some clothes and I decided to walk back to the hospital. On the way back I kept running over the day and how each of us handled what was happening. I remember feeling so helpless as we drove down the hill with Allie just saying how her life was ruined and repeating that she just wanted to die asking me to kill her and how I just kept reassuring her that everything would be OK to which she would reply how do you know, have you ever felt this way?

I remembered how my heart sank when I got home this morning and I saw her sweet little face and she was drooling as she spoke because of the paralysis and thinking OH my God as my heart sank. The feelign was just pure love and wanting to help her and hold her but there was no time we just sprunf into action. I remembered how I put her shoes on and when she stood up and started looking around and when I asked her what she was looking for she said her left shoe, when I told her it was on her foot she told me she couldn't feel it and I was going down the rabbit hole quickly but no time, had to go. All the while as she picked up her left hand with her right hand to get moving she never once seemed sad or upset. She couldn;t walk down the stairs so we had to go out the side door and around the house and yet she did not understand the urgency we had in our voices.

It's hard to understand how much you can love someone especially when they are so vulnerable and unable to assess the situation. Just cut my arm off she said, I'm right handed and don't really use it anyhow. How can you not just crumble. She then looks at you with her short hair and cherub face and starts to cry becaus eshe is either understanding the gravity of the situation or she is in so much pain or both.

I remembered her getting lifted into the ambulabce and giving me a thumbs up and saying she loves me before they closed the door and all I wanted them to do was drive as fast as possible.
I remember how much the IV line hurt her today and how much she cried that she wanted to go home, home much she hated the hospital and everyone in it and how she called Nancy a bitch and me a f%$K and how much we loved her in return and how we then walked to the gift shop together like we used to and talked and bought chocolate and then walked back.

So many thoughts, so many emotions, God working in strange ways. I came back to the NeuroICU to type this blog, where it all started on the very machine that I wrote the first blog on; it seemed only right.

Poor Allie is so confused, she seemed to ahve regressed mentally a bit but is just so happy and blissful and it hurts my heart to see her the way she is. I know she will make a Full Recovery but I also know that we will love her and take care of her forever. I want nothing more than to hug her and tell her everything will be OK, to see her happy in a different way, right now she is happy in a different emotional way, in a cute, young, innocent 4 year old way. I know it is coming and for as good as I know it will turn out, my heart breaks tonight.

Once again I long for tomorrow.

Allie's dad

Wednesday Evening, August 22nd

For the best part everything is OK.

I'm sitting at my desk this morning when I hear the phone ring, Sabrina our assistant no sooner answers it then I see the panic on her face and I know something is wrong. I grab the phone and it's Nancy, Somethings wrong with Allie, she cant move her left arm and her left eye and lip is drooping. Within two seconds I'm in the truck driveing life a mad man beeping and blinking my headlights all the way up the mountain, My mind is racing Holy Shit what's going on. I call on the cell phone and tell Nancy to call Dr. Toma and Dr. Gardner right away. A few seconds later she calls back. Dr. Toma wants her to call 911 and get her to the local hospital stat. Oh, my God! We both agree we are going back to Greenville where they know her and we are confident and comfortable. I got to the house in no time flat and Allie is not looking good, we get her in the Pilot and dash off not waiting for an ambulance. On the way Nancy tells me that Allie got up at 7:30 and aroung 9 after her shower, she comes into the room holding a towel and tells her in slurred speech that her arm is not working and she can't feel it. No time to waste. As I race out of the subdivision we call 911 and tell them what is going on and ask if they can take her by ambulance to Greenville, they can not so I just continue driveing with Allie scream she is in pain and my heart in my chest. As we continue to drive we call Greenville 911 and ask to have an ambulance meet us and after some confusion we meet up, put Allie in the ambulance to stabalize her and head off again. Now I'm alone in the car and Nancy is in the ambulance and as I once again call the Ronald McDonald house the tears start to flow. Deep down I know everything is going to be OK but in the moment with Allie in the ambulance basically paralyzed on the left side my mind starts to wander until I get it under control. Why is the ambulance driver going so slow I screamed to myself. About that time the phone rang - it was Nancy, everything seemed OK.

At the hospital, the ER doctor examined her and got her sent off for a cat scan, about this time Allie seemed to be back to normal, her eyes were OK, her smile was even and she seemed to be able to use her left arm again, A wave of it's going to be OK came over all of us. The Cat scan was good, no damage or anything to worry about there. Allie was really hungry and it was after lunch time so they let us walk to the cafateria while they got her room ready. nancy and Allie got Subway and I went into the cafateria. As soon as I got on line my phone rang, it was Nancy and she was breaking up bad, all I heard was we are going back to the ER, I left my tray on the line and ran back to the ER to find Allie had relapsed and was not able to use the left side again and it seemed to be worse, my heart sank and Nance was a mess. All in all Allie seemed to have taken a big step backwards and it looked bad to us but we tried not to look how we felt.

After a battery of test, doctors and the likes it appears that Allie had something called a Todd siezure which will go away after 24 hours or so but to be on the safe side they will be doing a MRI/MRA tomorrow sometime. It seems that at worse she may need to take iezure medication and at best it was a one time occurance and will never happen again. That's tonights news.

Allie is as tired as can be and I will be spending the night in her room. I got Nancy an hotel nearby so she can get some good rest, she is exhausted and it will be the best thing for her.

This is for a reason, for all of us - don;t know why, don;t care. As mother Theresa said, I just wish he didn;t trust us so much.

Stay positive - Full Recovery - Never a Doubt

Love and Recovery
Allie's Dad

Wednesday Afternoon, August 22nd

Dear Friends

At this time Nancy and I are asking you to once again reach out to your prayer circles for Allie. This morning Allie lost function on the left side of her arm and face. We rushed her back to Greenville Hospital with the help of EMS meeting us along the route to transport her. She has had a battery of tests since she has been here and will have more in the morning.

I will keep you informed later tonight.

She is regaining her motor function and we are unsure if it was a TIA or a siezure or brain healing or ...????

Full recovery - Never a Doubt

Allie's Dad

Tuesday Morning, August 21st

How odd. I find myself looking ove rmy shoulder as I type to be sure Allie is not coming. I wish she could understand what the blog is and how it is helping me and many others learn and deal with the trauma and recovery we now have. I understand that it may be embarrasing to her for others to hear of how she is progressing and the trials and tribulations which accompany the healing process or possibly she reads is and discovers things about her which she may not be aware of and when she reads is it could sparks off a feeling of not being what or where she use to be. This could be the reason she is recovering the way she is. It gives me the ability to write about her progress, knowing that she will recover fully and if she does read it maybe it will geive her the hope for Full Recovery also - we all know it is coming. Interesting the many philosophical issues you can look at her - Ayn Rand watch out - (one of my favorite philosophers)

It's 8:30 am and Roni (my sister), Nancy and I have been sitting outside dringing coffee and tea for quite a while now talking about life in general and about Allie and how well she is doing, about the many teachers who want to work with her, about going to the inhouse rehab next week and about how frustrating all this must be to Allie - I think Roni put it a great way when she said that this happened at such a critical timne in her life that it must be very frustrating; about to graduate from high school - missed it, senior prom - missed it, off to college - missed it and to not remember the performance of the school play Throughly Modern Millie; it must all be so very frustrating. Stephen Covey in the Seven Secrets talks abot unconscious incompetents, conscious incompetnets, unconscious competents and conscious competnets. What he is saying is that the unconscious incompetent does not know they don;t know (where Allie used to be), then the conscious incompetent knows they don't know (where Allie is) can you imagine how frustrating that must be for her to know she doesn't know. She will say things like - what's that word when you do good in school and then they give you money to go to school and you tell her scholarship and she will say Oh Yeah. Very simple but sometimes (and probably many more times than we knoe) getting stuck on little things. The good news is that she is very positive and is back on her way to being a conscious compentent and with her singing she was a unconscious competent - she was so good she didn;t really ahve to think about what she was doing ( or at least that is a proud father typing).

Allie's moods have been very good recently and she is also getting very good at riding in the car, her wit is quick and she is usually very congenial, She still and never did like to be told she was not doing something right (and who does) but she is a quick study. Loves to talk and be with you but will also take a break as she sees fit. I guess the best way to say it is that Allie likes things on her terms - but who doesn;t. She is getting a filter and is just so gtreat to be around.

Thank you for all of the encouraging e-mails and letters. We are so blessed to have her home and have all grown so much closer together. I hope all of our friends in the hospital are well and are going home soon. I miss seeing everybody there, they were our family for a few months, the nurses and therapist and especially Mark Clark the man of the hour who really single handidly took Allie under his wing and boy did she love/hate him for it. I am not singleing out because everyone was great but Mark and Allie had a very special relationship, one I am sure she will always remember and one which I am sure he will to.

Allie's Dad